The saddest news, continued

By now you've heard the tragic news of Linda's death on Tuesday July 10, 2012.  The last several days (actually, several weeks) seemed to go by in a blur.  It was just incredible how quickly things progressed.  I'd like to share just a few pieces of information about that part of Linda's story.

Hospice did come to our home to begin assisting us on Thursday July 5.  Most importantly, the hospice nurses were able to help us better manage Linda's pain, and I'm confident that she was very comfortable for her last few days.  On Linda's final day, we had a visit from a home aid and even a masseuse (both through hospice) to make Linda even more comfortable. 

As I've said, the progression was very fast.  Saturday through Monday were filled with much sleep, little appetite, and limited coherence.  There was a significant drop in Linda's strength through Monday night and into Tuesday morning.  Linda's family members (Jim and Tricia from Lancaster, and John from DC) were able to get to our home Tuesday afternoon to join Charlene and myself.  We were all able to spend time with Linda together and in smaller groups.  In the evening, we we were each able to take turns spending some final one-on-one time with Linda.  As the last of us finished their time with Linda, she took her final breath.  It was a very peaceful passing.

As Linda had wished, her body has been cremated.  There has been no ceremony for her yet, private or public.  Instead of a funeral, we are planning a Celebration of Life.  (Rather than a traditional/mournful setting, we will let a couple of weeks pass so that we can better *celebrate* the vibrant life that Linda lived.)

I will share the plans for the Celebration of Life as soon as they are finalized.  I can tell you that TENTATIVELY we will celebrate in the afternoon of Friday July 27 near Princeton, NJ.  But *please* hold off on finalizing travel plans until I let you know that everything is set, hopefully in the next couple of days.  There will be a ceremony followed by a reception where we will have time to further remember Linda and share stories.  I will also open our home in Voorhees, NJ to visitors on Saturday July 28.  While this is primarily intended to give those family and friends who are traveling from further away additional time to visit, all are welcome.  I anticipate Saturday's "open house" gathering to be a very informal and simple affair.

I will continue to post on Linda's blog over the coming weeks to continue the story (and also to fill in some holes from earlier this year).  But I'll end this post with a few points that I hope will be reassuring.  I've heard several people comment on how well Linda and I seemed to be doing (emotionally) over the last couple of weeks.  Despite the immense sadness that I feel, I have to say that I agree that we both seemed to do "pretty well."  One positive thing about Linda's disease was that we were able to prepare for this day over the last two years.  And we had absolutely no regrets.  We did everything we could from a medical point of view to fight the disease.  And we also *lived* as much as we could in that time; spending time with loved ones; traveling; and enjoying every moment.  I suspect that someday my emotions will catch up with me, but for now I feel very much at peace.  Linda also seemed to be very much at peace.  She had very candid discussions about death with a few friends, and when asked if she was afraid of dying, she asked in return why she should be afraid-- she was really only concerned about the people she was leaving behind.

Unfortunately, because of how quickly things happened at the end, Linda was not able to spend time visiting with the many, many friends and family who would have loved to have seen her.  But I *was* able to share many of the messages that you sent along for her.  So please, think of the last time that you were able to spend with Linda with fondness, as I'm sure that's the way Linda would have wanted it.