first date: Ixempra and Avastin

Starting back on chemo was a disappointment, to say the least.  However, the anxiety and mix of emotion was compounded by the fact that I was saying "goodbye" to my old friend Abraxane and "meeting my new friends" Ixempra & Avastin for the very first time.

Abraxane and I had "met up" 27 times over the course of 33 weeks (6/30/2010 - 2/16/2011).  We were old friends.  Like it is with so many of my oldest and dearest friends, I knew what to expect when we would "get together"...

• with Nancy... it's nonstop laughs and, more likely than not, the "rat on a stick" joke...
• with Char... it's company for the day-to-day, cooking, shopping, playing with Regan and, more likely than not, an episode of gray's or the bachelor/ette...
• with Jess... a run-down on those we've each been in touch with, a quick update about work, a check in on the family, hugs, laughter and maybe a few tears...
• with Katie... an all-nighter... as we discuss everything under the sun... and remark on our talented toes... 
• with Maura & Abby... an all-nighter... as we pretend we're ten years younger and try to make up for lost time...
• with Abraxane... 3-4 hours at the hospital... followed by a tired day and then, basically, back to "normal".  While the chemo did wear on me over time, my appetite was great and I was able to manage a relatively full plate of work, family, friends and ultimate frisbee!

So, prior to my first date, I did what every rational person would do to prepare for meeting my blind date... I stalked them on google.

While Avastin looks fairly harmless, Ixempra is a bit of a "bad boy".  Ixempra's personal website shows an older woman with a headscarf on the landing page.  Perfect.  I was just beginning to really embrace my short, spiky, new 'do.  The link to "side-effects" categorizes the possibilities into "common side effects" and "serious side effects".  Neither list is pleasant.  If it works... heck, I'll try anything.

Mike and I arrived at the hospital for my 8am appointment and after I registered, I headed to the back where the nurses accessed my port, drew some blood, checked my vitals and set me up to see Dr C.  He ran us through the options again, answered a few questions, did a quick exam and said "It's time to get started.  Go get 'em".

I settled into a chair in the quiet room and got hooked up for my pre-meds.  Benadryl, dexamethasone (Steroid), and a few anti-nausea meds are pumped into my IV and within 10 minutes I was fighting off the Benadryl stupor, unsuccessfully... slurring my words... unable to maintain my train of thought.  The nurse said "don't fight it honey" and that was all the permission I needed, quickly drifting off into a drug-induced slumber.  I slept through an hour of premeds, 20 minute flush, 3 hours of Ixempra, 20 minute flush and 90 minutes of Avastin.  Mike was a trooper, sitting quietly beside me all day (working a bit and organizing his pictures from Kenya... I swear... they are coming soon!) 

We wrapped up at about 4:30 pm and headed home.  The first date was long but relatively uneventful.  We spent a low-key evening, visiting with the Vogels. As a lay in bed that evening, I couldn't help but feel a little bit apprehensive about what was to come.  Like the mix of emotions that keep you awake the night after a first date, I was nervous, anxious, and above all... hopeful.