Pinktober: It's Not Over 'til We Say it's Over

I wanted to share a posting from a discussion group/support community to which I belong.  I found it very touching and inspiring and wanted to share it with you.  I will be joining these ladies on Sunday night, remembering women who have touched my life:  Marcela Vargas & Terry Gifford.  Please read on and consider joining me in remembrance of those "whose time was all too brief and hope for brighter days ahead"

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Breast Cancer Awarness Month is winding down. I'm relieved it's over with and glad that I succeeded in some small way of creating more awareness for metastatic breast cancer. I will start earlier next year and build on what I've learned.
But I've also decided to create my own holiday: Breast Cancer Remembrance Day. On Oct, 31, the final day of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I will remember the friends and family I have lost to this disease. It's Sunday, so I will light a candle for them and say some prayers.
I will wear black, not for its funeral implications but for its simple dignity, a quality that has been sadly lacking these past 30 pink saturated days.

At 8:45 that night I will go outside with a flashlight. I'll think of the one in 8 U.S. women who will get breast cancer and the 45,000 who will die this year.
My eighth grade science teacher told us if you turned on a flashlight and pointed it toward the sky the photons leave the flashlight and they immediately start to spread out. Provided that they don't hit anything, each individual photon travels through space forever.
Time slows down as you approach the speed of light.
I'll think of those whose time was all too brief and I'll hope for brighter days ahead.

moratorium...

While the name of this article is fairly ominous... "moratorium".... seriously???... the following article is quite interesting.  I have to imagine that this is over-stating the lack of funding for research into Stage IV cancers, but at the very least, I am now realizing how much this segment of the "cancer population" is over-looked...



'Moratorium On Studying And Treating Terminal Cancer Has Ended' - Genomic Systems Announcement

Terminal metastatic cancer - the presently untreatable cause of the great majority of all cancer deaths - has now been effectively treated in three common fatal cancers in mice, according to an announcement by Genomic Systems, citing research published online in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS).

Research conducted by Robert J. Debs, M.D., senior scientist at the California Pacific Medical Center Research Institute in collaboration with four other laboratories has shown that a monoclonal antibody targeting a protein called PECAM-1 is effective against this now invariably lethal stage of cancer in mice. This antibody also treats less advanced cancers, as well as the debilitating wasting syndrome that can develop as cancers progress.

Anti-PECAM-1-antibody produces its anti-cancer effects not by binding to tumor cells, but rather by binding to PECAM-1 on the surface of normal endothelial cells that line blood vessels. Because it acts through normal cells rather than directly on cancer cells, it is effective against a variety of different cancer types.

Laboratory testing has now shown anti-PECAM-1-antibody to be effective against colon cancer, breast cancer and melanoma. These are among the most frequently diagnosed fatal cancers in the United States, according to the National Cancer Institute.

"For the first time, preclinical studies provide hope for patients and their physicians that even the terminal stages of cancer do not invariably represent a hopeless situation. Our research has shown that some terminal cancers, as well as the debilitating wasting syndrome that can accompany them can now be treated in mice, said Dr. Debs. "Hopefully, these studies will encourage increased interest in studying terminal cancers, as well as stimulate others to develop additional new therapies that effectively target this most devastating stage of cancer."

The research also indicates that this antibody is well tolerated, even when administered at high doses to mice already debilitated by very advanced metastatic cancers. The antibody appears to work by selectively blocking PECAM-1's regulation of secreted proteins that promote advanced cancer's now lethal growth. Dr. Debs believes that specifically targeting these growth-promoting factors themselves may further improve the treatment of terminal cancer, and has the potential to significantly improve the lives of patients now suffering hopelessly from it.

"Preclinical studies focusing on terminal cancer are rare. Therefore, these patients have no therapies to either treat their cancer or give them hope. As a cancer specialist, all I could do for my patients with terminal cancers was to help make their remaining days as comfortable as possible," said Dr. Debs, who is trained as a medical oncologist and hematologist. "To be able to offer my patients with advanced cancers only palliative care and referral to hospice was not why I chose to become a cancer doctor. The profound, unmet medical and human needs of my patients in the terminal stages of cancer drove me into research."

Genomic Systems is working to develop Phase 1 testing of anti-PECAM-1 monoclonal antibody in patients with advanced cancers, hopefully within 2 years.

Genomic Systems, LLC, a privately held company, provided partial funding for this research. In accordance with PNAS financial disclosure policy, Dr. Debs and three other researchers have financial ownership investment in Genomic Systems.

More Fall Fun

A beautiful Saturday afternoon at Smithville Park in NJ... 

Mike's getting to be really good with his camera.  To check out all of the pictures from our day, check out our gallery on smugmug.  It has the full res pictures so you can download them too!

ABC's

I saw this hanging in a friend's home (Tate & Suzie) and really enjoyed it... thought you might enjoy it too.

Accept differences   Be kind   Count your blessings   Dream   Express thanks   Forgive   Give freely   Harm no one   Imagine more   Jettison anger   Keep confidences   Love truly   Master something   Nurture hope   Open your mind   Pack lightly   Quell rumors   Reciprocate   Seek wisdom   Touch hearts   Understand   Value truth   Win graciously   Xeriscape   Yearn for peace   Zealously support a worthy cause

Pumpkins!!

We spent the morning at Hunter's Farm with Jim/Cindy/Patrick and Char/J/Regan.  Enjoyed a hayride, picked some pumpkins, bought some mums, apples, cider donuts... tested out our new kelty backpack carrier (was inspired after seeing how much tate & tegan enjoyed it so we got one off craig's list!)

,,, basically just enjoyed a warm autumn day!

waiting for a train (a story about Jess)

I spent 20-30 minutes yesterday waiting for a train.  After a full day of work, I was exhausted... but extremely excited as I sat on the side of JFK, waiting for the train to arrive.  My dear friend Jessica was on that train and I could not wait to see her. 

When Jess suggested last week that she come down for a visit, I was ecstatic.  I only see Jess once or twice a year and it is typically a quick visit on my way home from a full day of recruiting at RPI.  2-3 hours is nowhere near enough time to catch up with someone who played such an integral part in my life. 

Jess and I met at cross country practice freshman year at RPI.  We hit it off pretty quickly, but she decided to leave the team quickly too.  Since we didn't live in the same dorm or share any classes, I didn't see her much after that.  Until the day that I walked through the arch into the quad and saw Jessica coming down the stairs.  She was wearing the same red, buff and green pin that I was wearing... and I was so excited that she and I would be joining the same sorority.

Yes... it's true.  You may be surprised by the fact that I was in a sorority in college.  It surprised me too!  Most of my high school friends were guys and I much preferred playing sports or catching crawdads to shopping or talking on the phone.  But I was a joiner freshman year... I wanted to try it all -- cross country, student government, ROTC, even a sorority... and I'm glad that I did. 

The women that I met at AGD (and RPI, in general) showed me that girls are pretty cool too.  They showed me that there actually were other women out there who wore sweatpants and a baseball cap to class, didn't care what other people thought about how much they ate (in fact, they were proud of the fact that they could polish off two dozen wings in one sitting!) and would love to spend the weekend playing ultimate, hiking at Grafton or driving up to Bennington VT.  Of course, they also didn't mind spending a weekend night getting fancied up for a 3-to-3!  Whether dressed to impress or choosing function over fashion, these women were smart, real and beautiful... and I'm so glad to have them in my life.

Jess is one of those women.  Smart, caring, beautiful... a wonderful mother... a wonderful friend.  What a great day I had with her today.  As I stood on the platform with her this evening, waiting for the train that would take her back home, I couldn't help but think of all the times we've shared, I couldn't help but to think 'I am so blessed.'

Weekend in Boston

We had a great but busy weekend last weekend. 

On Thursday, we drove up to Carver to visit my grammy.  We spent the night visiting with grammy and playing fill or bust.  Of three games, we each won once, so we were able to all head to bed fairly satisfied.  On Friday, we visited grampy at the nursing home he's in. It was nice to see him and he's doing so much better than he was when we saw him last.  He's got a cute roommate named Bob and the place he's staying seems nice.

After our goodbyes, we headed up to Duxbury to the Thomas home.  We met up with Adrian and got to snuggle a bit with Collette before we headed up to Boston for Maura & Kirk's wedding.  The wedding was at the Boston Public Library and was beautiful.  The perfect setting for Maura and a great time catching up with friends like Abby/Adrian, Rich/Laura, Wong/Scott, Craig/Alicia, Jim/Sherry, Julie, Allegra and of course, the beautiful bride.  Maura looked perfect and incredibly happy... her smile, as always, contagious.  I can't wait for a chance to finally spend a little bit more time with her new husband, Kirk (the only times I've met him were at our wedding and at theirs, so needless to say, we haven't really had much time to get to know one another!) 

Despite a late night and an early morning, Saturday was also a great day.  We caught up a bit more with Abby and Adrian and cuddled a bit more with Collette!  and then headed down to New Haven CT to visit with Tate/Suzie, Matt/Nicole and Pete/Meg... plus all their kiddos.  Another delicious meal: cold pizza, veggie burgers and root stew (I know... none of that sounds particularly good, but trust me... it was delicious) and time visiting with friends and getting to know their little ones really warmed my heart. 

We stayed the night with Tate & Suzie and after Tate's delicious french toast (he told us the secret ingredient so we will be trying this one soon ourselves!) we went for a hike down to the beach, found the perfect spot to open a coffee/ice cream shop and explored the local farm market.  More goodbyes and we were on our way back home to NJ.... tired, but happy to see so many dear friends.

eyebrows

It just didn't seem appropriate to write about this in my previous post....

Honestly, I don't really mind losing my hair.  I mean... I do... but I don't... what I really hate is losing my eyebrows.  That's when you really start to look, well, sick.

It took a while.  The hair on my head fell out in July.  Everywhere else pretty much too.  I haven't had to shave my legs in months.  Thankfully, I still had my eyebrows.  Until last week that is. 

Now, I didn't have very thick eyebrows to begin with.  In fact, I somewhat took pride in the soft, fair eyebrows I was blessed with.  Sure, I plucked the stray hair occasionally... and even broke down and began waxing them periodically.  I mean, what's a girl to do when the pedicure lady gives you "that look" when you tell her "no thanks" to the "eyebrows?" question (even the strongest of us crumble!) 

Anyways, I attended a program by the ACS this week (Look good feel better).  Honestly - I went for the free makeup.  But it turned out to be a pretty nice evening with Gail, Tanya, Kim and Robin... and of course, Gail.  In addition to a bag full of goodies, Gail gave us lots of great tips and tricks and we had a good time playing make up and trying on wigs.  I even came home with a new wig. 

Yes, it makes me look like a 50 year old librarian.  I'm still not sure I'll ever really wear it in front of anyone I know.  I did wear it on my trip to Indianapolis yesterday.  I figured, I was meeting a new client who had never met me, so why not try it out?  Unfortunately, the client called in sick (I didn't find this out until I landed in Indy!) and we did the meeting by conference call (me, sitting on the ground in the Indy airport... waiting for my flight back to Philly).  But I did spend the entire day in the Indianapolis airport wearing that wig (and we did get the project!).  I felt mildly fraudulent and incognito, but hey... nobody really obviously stared!  And nobody came up to me to talk about my cancer.

Back to the eyebrows.  One of the things Gail insisted on was eyebrow makeup.  I've tried this before and it always looks ridiculous.  But Gail had some kind of eyebrow magic: Anastasia Eyebrow Ex-press (check out the beautiful brows in the picture above!)  I felt so great that I went to the store today and bought it myself.  Of course, similar to my many experiences with my hairdresser, I can never get it to look as good when I do it myself.  So here I sit, typing this with crooked eyebrows! 

At least I know Mike loves me for who I am... bald head, crooked eyebrows and all... and for now, that's who I'll stick with (but I will keep practicing my eyebrow magic at home and maybe someday... will venture out wearing my brows with pride)

MBC Day

October 13 is Metastatic Breast Cancer Day. 

Who knew?  Seriously... you can't even turn around without seeing a pink ribbon, right?  Well, after all... it is October... It's actually pretty incredible to see how BC month has become so mainstream.  How it's infiltrated our wrists, our tshirts, water bottles, purses, sunglasses, kitchen products, cookbooks, cosmetics... even our liquor! (wait... don't they say that drinking increases our risk of BC?)

It's become so prevalent that people are starting to become anti-pink.  Articles are popping up about all of the other "neglected cancers", jealous of the power of pink.  While I agree that funding is needed for all cancers, should we really be complaining about raising money and awareness for breast cancer?  Seriously.  And, while it is a constant reminder of my own situation, I suppose the more aware people are, the more likely we are to actually find a cure some day (and hopefully that day is soon!)

Of course, what you don't tend to see in the sea of pink media frenzy this October is the fact that while early stage breast cancer is "curable"... Advanced Breast Cancer or METASTATIC breast cancer is not.  It is a chronic and, currently, terminal disease.  As Musa Mayer says in this article by Dr Elaine Shattner, "It used to be the C-word," she says. "Nobody said they had cancer. Now it's the M-word nobody mentions. The word is metastatic."

Now that the world is aware... we need to shift our focus and continue to search for a CURE. 

My friend has a friend who has breast cancer

I thought you might enjoy reading a post that my friend Amanda (or Mandy, as I call her) put on her blog recently... even though she totally sold me out and told everyone about my (our?) Math League & Science Olympiad days.  The bus ride to "states" still ranks as a top memory from my G-C days! At least she was kind enough to omit the fact that I also was in the Dungeons and Dragons club in 6th grade. 

Thanks, Mandy... for your kind words, your support and your friendship so many years later!

A much needed vacation

3 more weeks of Abraxane down and I have another week "off".  The past month has been relatively un-eventful.  I'm getting back into a bit of a routine with chemo every Wednesday.  It breaks up my work week nicely!  Perhaps a little too nicely?  I've found myself slipping back into my old work habits... and I have promised myself that I would manage my hours and stress better... that will be an ongoing battle, I suspect.

The timing for my "off week" was perfect though... my client had some big regional meetings that we were supporting, so I was able to participate in the meetings in Philly & Orlando on Tuesday & Wednesday.  The meetings went very well and it was really touching to hear from the sales managers, with whom I've interacted over the years, express concern for my health and good wishes for my healing. 

After the Orlando meeting, I headed down to Fort Lauderdale and met up with Charlene and Regan for a mini vacation at Bob's.  Despite the 5am morning wake-up call from Regan, it was a much-needed break from work and life.  I am so thankful to Bob & Brian for hosting us this weekend!