Wednesday, January 4, 2006

AN UPDATE, BY A BFF

posted Wednesday, 4 January 2006

Linda has a huge heart! We all know this. Along these lines, she wanted to make sure that everyone was kept updated through the last surgery. Linda called me last night and asked that I update her blog. What an honor! I know I won't do it justice.

I received a message from Linda's Mom at 4:04 pm. The first surgery, the bilateral masectomy, was completed and successful. I will give you a moment to sigh with relief, shed some tears, or sing praise to a higher power. Choose one or all three. I know I did all this and more. I am sitting here waiting for the next call, should be any minute, to hear about the reconstruction. It's 5:25pm.

While we wait, I will introduce myself. Some of you know me, some of you have maybe heard about me, or maybe not. I'm Nancy. One of Linda's "Frisbee Friends". We met about 5 years ago, but it seems like we've been BFF (that's best friends forever and what Linda and I refer to ourselves as). Linda can tell you the juicy stories about me, but I want to take the next few minutes (in anticipation of the next phone call), to talk about Linda.

I remember where I was and what I was doing when Linda called me to tell me that the lump in her breast was cancer. I was 250 miles away from her on vacation. I managed to stay strong while on the phone with her, and lost it as soon as the phone clicked. I wasn't there to hug her, console her, joke with her to keep her spirits up. I couldn't imagine what the future would hold. Had the cancer spread? So many tests had to be done. I needed more information... I always knew she was strong, but the grace with which she handled this new obstacle, amazed me. Looking back, I can honestly say I have never known or will ever know again, someone who takes on something as overwhelming and as scary as cancer and turns it into just another life lesson and challenge.

Linda's concern is always with her friends and family. Countless times she has told me how she wants (needs?) to be strong for everyone, including herself. She wants to make sure that those close to her are comfortable and OK. She was never much of a crier. Oh, I take that back. I have seen/heard her cry on several occassions, most of them before this summer. And most of them during middle of the night phone calls. But these are the kind of cries that every girl has had/will have. (MEN!) But what worried those closest to Linda after the diagnosis was her lack of crying. Her mom asked me if I had seen her cry, if Linda had really broken down and lost it. you know the kind of cry...not the cry cuz you were just dumped or didn't make it to a national ultimate frisbee championship...but the kind of cry you have that lifts the weight off your shoulders, that frees you from something you can't quite put your finger on...a healthy cry. She probably doesn't even know that those closest to her with having endless conversations, trying to determine if anyone had seen her cry. Don't worry someone did, eventually.

On this blog, Linda is always thanking everyone for helping her and being there for her. That's the purpose of the blog. That, and keeping everbody up to date. But now WE (I will speak for all of us) get to thank her. Thanks for letting us see the most intimate details of your life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Thanks for bringing everyone in your life, from all over the country, together. You have made your blog so thorough, so uninhibited. Linda, you have become so much more open since June. You have grown so much. You've learned to tell people how you feel and how they have impacted you. You are not afraid to ask for help. You make everyone around you stronger.

I just spoke with Linda's Mom. It's 6:30 pm and Linda is in recovery. Both surgeries were successful. THANK GOD! Now's the time to thank God, let out a sigh of relief, shed a tear. Do one or all three. I know I am.

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

ONE MORE GO...

posted Tuesday, 3 January 2006

As if I hadn't already had enough to think about, I finally got my genetic test results back. It turns out that my genetic testing came back positive for a mutation in my BRCA 1 gene. I guess that explains why an otherwise healthy, 28 year old woman would find herself battling breast cancer (though I really thought that it was caused by riding my bike in the cloud of smoke behind the tractor that was spraying for mosquitoes at Willow Lake campground, but that's another story!) We had been waiting for these results and hoping that they would arrive before my surgery... and they came just in the nick of time. I got a call from my doctor on Thursday and met with him on Friday to discuss the results. Unfortunately, I could not get ahold of my surgeons when I got done meeting with Dr Cairoli, to let them know the news. I decided to call Dr Dultz at home (she wouldn't have given me her home number if she didn't want me to use it, right?) She called back later that evening and we discussed the surgery. She definitely agreed that we should go ahead with the bilateral mastectomy, given the significant risk of developing a new cancer in the healthy breast. She could still do it on Wednesday, as planned, but we just needed to confirm with Dr Borah (Dr Dultz will do the mastectomy & Borah will begin the reconstruction, by placing the expanders).

I actually didn't find out the final news regarding whether the surgery would be as planned until this morning. Talk about stress. As much as I tried not to worry about it... it wasn't easy! It had totally stressed me out when the surgery was scheduled for so early in the month (when I was expecting mid/late Jan)... but I dealt with it... processed... and prepared myself for it... I am really glad that it will go off as planned, because I am ready now (well, not really ready... it is almost 11 pm... the surgery is tomorrow and I still have a *ton* to get done!)

My friend Nancy will be posting to the blog here tomorrow night when I get out of surgery, and while I am in the hospital. You can also call my cell phone and leave a message. I am most likely going to be pretty doped up, but I figure, if I am not up to talking, I won't answer. It really meant a lot to me to hear from so many people after my first surgery, even if I didn't get to return all the calls immediately. You all are a source of strength for me... and of course, for that, I thank you dearly.

LC


Surgery Details:

Surgery will be at 12 noon on Wed Jan 4; I will likely be in the hospital until Friday or Saturday

University Medical Center at Princeton

253 Witherspoon Street
Princeton, NJ 08540
609.497.4000

Information on BRCA 1 and genetics http://www.facingourrisk.org/

Saturday, December 31, 2005

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

posted Saturday, 31 December 2005

With my surgery so early in January, I decided it was just too much to try to make the trek up to Boston, to spend New Year's Eve at the Courtside, celebrating the 30th birthday of my good friend Rich. Somewhat bummed about that decision, I looked for a fun way to spend the night close to home. Last year, Nancy and I decided last minute to have people over and it was a really enjoyable time. So, we decided to host the 2nd annual, totally-last-minute New Year's Eve party at my house. It turned out better than I could have imagined, with a really great mix of people (I suppose the only thing that *could* have turned out better was if I hadn't left the lasagna in the oven for 3 hours... right...)

Not only did the group there have a fantastic time, but we got word from Susie and Jaeger that they had gotten engaged that evening - what a celebration we had for them! I love it when such goodness happens to such great people!

Happy New Year! Happy Birthday Richie & Vlad!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

posted Sunday, 25 December 2005

As often happens, I have neglected my blog for a week or so, prefering to focus on living life, rather than regaling it! A few of you have noticed that you sometimes will check my blog and not see any new posts and then suddenly, 3 or 4 posts will appear.... that just means that I finally got around to sitting and writing again... and I did a few posts in one sitting!

I truly hope that you were all able to have a wonderful holiday. I let the stress build a little bit when I got word that my surgery would be scheduled for January 4th (I had been planning for mid/late January!) I am definitely not complaining though! I went up to New Brunswick to get a second opinion from the Chief of Plastic Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson. Immediately, I felt much more comfortable with Dr Borah (especially compared to the first plastic surgeon that I had met with). He made me feel smart and really set me at ease, so that I was able to ask him even those questions that are a bit embarassing or uncomfortable. He made eye contact when we talked, as opposed to burying his head in my file, with his back turned... the only complication was that he works in a different hospital than Dr Dultz... but at this point, I "ain't too proud to beg"... and so I did... and it worked out (quicker than I imagined!). Anyways, with a lot to do in the two weeks before my surgery I must admit, I was a little bit stressed out the week before Christmas (with my family visiting and trying to travel to see friends and extended family...) Of course, much of that stress was unnecessarily self-inflicted... were my parents really going to be inspecting my house for dirt while they were here?

Once the holiday arrived, I was able to sit back and relax a little. Mom and Dad came out on Saturday evening and I prepared a Christmas Eve dinner for them, Charlene & Jeremy & Nancy. After an early dinner, we sat around, playing games for a few hours, enjoying each other's company. It really was a nice evening.

Christmas morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island, to visit my dad's sister. The Casill Family Christmas is always a fairly involved event, with nearly 25 people there (only a few of the clan were missing... I was sad that I didn't get a chance to see Donna & her girls, Brian & Tommy). Of course, Aunt Doris and Grandpa were also in my thoughts. I especially love to see all the little ones as they raced around the house - Diana, Brian, Jessica & Courtney... with Alyssa & Hannah, who are on the brink of being too old for all the play and with whom it was nice to sit and chat with for a while. It's also nice to see my cousins Laura & Gene, David, Michael, Paula, Vinnie & Kerry and my brother John & his girlfriend Bonnie -- and to get to know them better as adults. Then there's my crazy Aunts & Uncles, whose love and support and laughter always makes my day. Last, but not least, is Grandma. What a tough lady she is. I am so thankful for Marilyn, her care-taker, whose compassion and love are evident to all. Christmas at the Casill's is not complete without a visit from good old Saint Nick! He takes time out, at the end of a very busy night, to come and hand out the Secret Santa presents and pose for pictures. What a guy! Thanks to my secret santa. I actually wound up exchanging the wine glasses for martini glasses at Pier One, since I have a full set of wine glasses... but I loved the pattern and I pretty much love anything from Pier One!

Of course, my Christmas visits with friends didn't end there... on Monday, my roommate from college, Sarah & her husband Chris stopped by for a visit on their way back to DC from his folk's place in north Jersey. It's always great to catch up with them.

I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. I was disappointed with myself for not getting cards out this year. I really enjoyed all the cards that I received, especially the ones with pictures of the little ones! I hope you all know that you were in my thoughts despite the fact that I was unable to get out personal greetings. I wish you all the best for a happy and *healthy* 2006.

LC

Merry Christmas!

posted Sunday, 25 December 2005
As often happens, I have neglected my blog for a week or so, prefering to focus on living life, rather than regaling it!  A few of you have noticed that you sometimes will check my blog and not see any new posts and then suddenly, 3 or 4 posts will appear.... that just means that I finally got around to sitting and writing again... and I did a few posts in one sitting! 

I truly hope that you were all able to have a wonderful holiday.  I let the stress build a little bit when I got word that my surgery would be scheduled for January 4th (I had been planning for mid/late January!)  I am definitely not complaining though!  I went up to New Brunswick to get a second opinion from the Chief of Plastic Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson.  Immediately, I felt much more comfortable with Dr Borah (especially compared to the first plastic surgeon that I had met with).  He made me feel smart and really set me at ease, so that I was able to ask him even those questions that are a bit embarassing or uncomfortable.  He made eye contact when we talked, as opposed to burying his head in my file, with his back turned... the only complication was that he works in a different hospital than Dr Dultz... but at this point, I "ain't too proud to beg"... and so I did... and it worked out (quicker than I imagined!).  Anyways, with a lot to do in the two weeks before my surgery I must admit, I was a little bit stressed out the week before Christmas (with my family visiting and trying to travel to see friends and extended family...)  Of course, much of that stress was unnecessarily self-inflicted... were my parents really going to be inspecting my house for dirt while they were here?

Once the holiday arrived, I was able to sit back and relax a little.  Mom and Dad came out on Saturday evening and I prepared a Christmas Eve dinner for them, Charlene & Jeremy & Nancy.  After an early dinner, we sat around, playing games for a few hours, enjoying each other's company.  It really was a nice evening. 

Christmas morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island, to visit my dad's sister.  The Casill Family Christmas is always a fairly involved event, with nearly 25 people there (only a few of the clan were missing... I was sad that I didn't get a chance to see Donna & her girls, Brian & Tommy).  Of course, Aunt Doris and Grandpa were also in my thoughts.  I especially love to see all the little ones as they raced around the house - Diana, Brian, Jessica & Courtney... with Alyssa & Hannah, who are on the brink of being too old for all the play and with whom it was nice to sit and chat with for a while.  It's also nice to see my cousins Laura & Gene, David, Michael, Paula, Vinnie & Kerry  and my brother John & his girlfriend Bonnie -- and to get to know them better as adults.  Then there's my crazy Aunts & Uncles, whose love and support and laughter always makes my day.  Last, but not least, is Grandma.  What a tough lady she is.  I am so thankful for Marilyn, her care-taker, whose compassion and love are evident to all.  Christmas at the Casill's is not complete without a visit from good old Saint Nick!  He takes time out, at the end of a very busy night, to come and hand out the Secret Santa presents and pose for pictures.  What a guy!  Thanks to my secret santa.  I actually wound up exchanging the wine glasses for martini glasses at Pier One, since I have a full set of wine glasses... but I loved the pattern and I pretty much love anything from Pier One!

Of course, my Christmas visits with friends didn't end there... on Monday, my roommate from college, Sarah & her husband Chris stopped by for a visit on their way back to DC from his folk's place in north Jersey.  It's always great to catch up with them.

I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas.  I was disappointed with myself for not getting cards out this year.  I really enjoyed all the cards that I received, especially the ones with pictures of the little ones!  I hope you all know that you were in my thoughts despite the fact that I was unable to get out personal greetings.  I wish you all the best for a happy and *healthy* 2006.

LC

 













Comments:

1. John left...
Tuesday, 3 January 2006 4:58 pm
Santa rules!!!

2. alyssa left...
Tuesday, 3 January 2006 5:53 pm
it was so great to see you!!!
you are always in my heart, mind, and prayers. ~alyssa~

3. kaori left...
Tuesday, 3 January 2006 10:30 pm
hey linda, it was so nice to see you, and in such great spirits! good luck on your surgery tomorrow! kaori

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

BACK ON THE ROAD

posted Tuesday, 20 December 2005

I'm back on the road again, riding high in my new 2005 Toyota Rav 4! After test-driving nearly every small SUV on the market, along with several of the sport wagons, I settled on the cute little Rav 4. The negotiations were a little tiring... and my car dealer was quite the character. I nearly walked and drove out to a PA dealer to buy it... but realized that there are some perks that dealers give you if you service with them and I might as well be close by.

My favorite obnoxious comment from my dealer came as he was trying to push a red 4x2, with beige interior.... I explained that I have a black dog and would strongly prefer the charcoal interior... and would take a car that was black, red or blue. He commented that it shouldn't matter what color the interior is... wasn't I planning to clean it after the dog? Well, duh... I'll clean my car, but not every day. He then suggested that I buy the beige interior car and get seat covers from Walmart that I could even just throw out when they get dirty (they only cost $8)... but who wants seat covers in a brand new car? and the seat covers certainly do not cost just $8.... I finally told him that if I was going to spend over $20k on a new car, that I shouldn't have to settle or explain my preference for a dark interior...

Anyways, we finally found a black 4x4 with gray interior... sounded like we'd be all set. They'd be installing a sunroof & heated seats (I really wanted heated seats, but most dealers only have the option with leather seats... and I don't want leather...). As I was filling out my credit application, the dealer returned... commented on my monthly salary... and asked if I would adopt him (just another example of how inappropriate this guy was!). I couldn't believe it.

Anyways, it's good to be back on the road again... I must admit... I do feel a pang of sorrow when I pass a cute little VW cabrio on the road these days though....

Sunday, December 18, 2005

The Bilinski Christmas Cookie "Smack Down"

posted Sunday, 18 December 2005
Stacey Bilinski hosted a Cookie "SmackDown" competition/party in Robbinsville, NJ.  Following is the re-cap of the events (as recalled by Stacey)


Just a quick re-cap of yesterday's 2005 Cookie Smackdown. It was a small but intense competition. I also want to point out that it appears that the strick hand washing policy was adhered to (thanks Bonny) and no incidence of gi disturbances have been reported. This years competition, I decided to bring out of retirement, my peanut butter balls, thinking this was a slam dunk, I prepared the balls in advance had them chilling. But I guess I was too confident in my confection, and went to put Amber down for her nap, leaving my melting chocolate on the double boiler. Thank goodness for Nancy's olfactory perception or we may have had an inferno. Note to self, dont leave things on the stove top, and make sure fire extenguisher is close at hand. So after the first failed attempt I started again, and could not seem to get into the groove, despite several attempts to modify the chocolate coating, I ended up with a lump like consistency making my chocolate peanut butter balls look like turds from rabbits on steroids.

Thankfully the judges took pity on me, and I received an honorable mention. Rounding out the competition were 3 rookies, Bonny, Nancy, and Linda. So there was going to be a new champion - but who?? Was it going to be Nancy, who admittedly has only baked cookies once before? Linda, using her Grandma Cassill's secret recipe and an contraption similar to an Austin Power's like penile enhancment pump, or Bonny with her tried (at least once before) oatmeal, peanut, chocolate chunk cookies. We also had 2 new judges, and some fabulous prizes. Drum role pulllleez....

 Runner up and favorite cookie of the those under 3 was Nancy's chocolate swirl chip, next was Linda's festive butter cookies and Bonny was the champ with her delicious prize winning entry.


Nancy, LC & Bonny prepare their dough...  Nancy steers clear of the electric mixer, preferring to stir her dough by hand (though the video I took of her "stirring" the dough shows it was not without cost)





The ladies retreat to the hot-tub with Stacey to relax...





While the judges slave away inside, tasting the entries...




Comments:

1. Mona left...
Thursday, 22 December 2005 10:41 pm
Nancy always liked to help me make chocolate chip cookies, but for some reason refused to use the electric mixer. She always preferred to stir the dough by hand! The secret to great cc cookies is to refrigerate the dough overnight. Poor Nancy didn't stand a chance with her room temperature concoction. I'm glad she got honorable mention anyway. I enjoyed your photos which are making me very hungry. Have a great Christmas!!! Love, Mona

2. Mom left...
Thursday, 22 December 2005 11:36 pm
Those cookies look great! I hope there will be some like that for Christmas. It is always more fun to bake with friends. I baked with my girlfriends many times, but never thought about making it a competition with prizes. Great idea!