posted Wednesday, 4 January 2006
Linda has a huge heart! We all know this. Along these lines, she wanted to make sure that everyone was kept updated through the last surgery. Linda called me last night and asked that I update her blog. What an honor! I know I won't do it justice.
I received a message from Linda's Mom at 4:04 pm. The first surgery, the bilateral masectomy, was completed and successful. I will give you a moment to sigh with relief, shed some tears, or sing praise to a higher power. Choose one or all three. I know I did all this and more. I am sitting here waiting for the next call, should be any minute, to hear about the reconstruction. It's 5:25pm.
While we wait, I will introduce myself. Some of you know me, some of you have maybe heard about me, or maybe not. I'm Nancy. One of Linda's "Frisbee Friends". We met about 5 years ago, but it seems like we've been BFF (that's best friends forever and what Linda and I refer to ourselves as). Linda can tell you the juicy stories about me, but I want to take the next few minutes (in anticipation of the next phone call), to talk about Linda.
I remember where I was and what I was doing when Linda called me to tell me that the lump in her breast was cancer. I was 250 miles away from her on vacation. I managed to stay strong while on the phone with her, and lost it as soon as the phone clicked. I wasn't there to hug her, console her, joke with her to keep her spirits up. I couldn't imagine what the future would hold. Had the cancer spread? So many tests had to be done. I needed more information... I always knew she was strong, but the grace with which she handled this new obstacle, amazed me. Looking back, I can honestly say I have never known or will ever know again, someone who takes on something as overwhelming and as scary as cancer and turns it into just another life lesson and challenge.
Linda's concern is always with her friends and family. Countless times she has told me how she wants (needs?) to be strong for everyone, including herself. She wants to make sure that those close to her are comfortable and OK. She was never much of a crier. Oh, I take that back. I have seen/heard her cry on several occassions, most of them before this summer. And most of them during middle of the night phone calls. But these are the kind of cries that every girl has had/will have. (MEN!) But what worried those closest to Linda after the diagnosis was her lack of crying. Her mom asked me if I had seen her cry, if Linda had really broken down and lost it. you know the kind of cry...not the cry cuz you were just dumped or didn't make it to a national ultimate frisbee championship...but the kind of cry you have that lifts the weight off your shoulders, that frees you from something you can't quite put your finger on...a healthy cry. She probably doesn't even know that those closest to her with having endless conversations, trying to determine if anyone had seen her cry. Don't worry someone did, eventually.
On this blog, Linda is always thanking everyone for helping her and being there for her. That's the purpose of the blog. That, and keeping everbody up to date. But now WE (I will speak for all of us) get to thank her. Thanks for letting us see the most intimate details of your life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Thanks for bringing everyone in your life, from all over the country, together. You have made your blog so thorough, so uninhibited. Linda, you have become so much more open since June. You have grown so much. You've learned to tell people how you feel and how they have impacted you. You are not afraid to ask for help. You make everyone around you stronger.
I just spoke with Linda's Mom. It's 6:30 pm and Linda is in recovery. Both surgeries were successful. THANK GOD! Now's the time to thank God, let out a sigh of relief, shed a tear. Do one or all three. I know I am.
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