Bob Evans

posted Tuesday, 5 July 2005

my parents decided to stay one extra day (originally, they planned to leave on monday). tuesday morning, on their way out of town, mom wanted to hit bob evans for breakfast, one last time. i went with them and enjoyed a farmers market omelette (no mushrooms, of course). as we were finishing breakfast, we noticed a woman behind us who appeared to be in "treatment". she was fairly young and i decided to go talk to her. i had not yet found an oncologist in south jersey (since my surgeon is in princeton, she was unable to make a referral off the cuff).
i approached the 2 women, a bit timid, and asked "pardon me, but do you live in the area?" thinking they were about to win a prize, they replied "yes - in tabernacle". "well, i don't mean to be intrusive, but i'd like to ask you a personal question. i was just diagnosed with breast cancer two weeks ago and i was wondering where you go for your treatment...." woah. well, annette asked me to sit down and introduced me to her mother florence. i pointed at my parents across the way and she insisted that they come join us. an hour later, we asked the waitress to bring annette a new breakfast (she hadn't taken a bite of her eggs) and we said good-bye to my new friend.
annette was initially diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 30 (which is totally random, since so few women experience this before they turn 40). she had a lumpectomy, chemo & radiation at that time (with two young children at home!) this january, 13 years later, she found another lump - a more aggressive kind of cancer. after a double mastectomy & chemo, she has just finished with treatment.
anyways, her oncologist works in mt holly, 2 miles from my new house. he is the same md who treated her the first time around. she recommended either him or another md in the practice (who specializes in breast cancer). not only is the practice 5 minutes from my house, they accept my insurance! what a blessing. they are affiliated with fox chase cancer center, in philadelphia. i have an appt with dr cairoli next friday (july 15).
annette's outlook was really encouraging. she was honest ("i won't lie - there will be days that you will think - i can't do it anymore... i can't go back for another round of treatment") but encouraging ("but you'll get through it... and you'll be back to your old self before you know it"...and... "no worries - you've got really good ears", in reference to sporting the bald look). i also think it was reassuring to my parents to see her... and see how great she looks (despite the fact that she said it was her "tired day") and now know that i have someone nearby to call upon.
two months ago, i never would have imagined approaching a random stranger like that in a restaurant. in just one month, i've already noticed a change in my take on things. why waste time beating around the bush and risking a miscommunication? say what you have to say - the worst that can happen is that the person is not receptive to what you have to say... or they say no... either way, you are no worse off than you were to begin with.
but annette was receptive - in fact, she called me that afternoon. she thanked me for coming up to talk to her "if i can't help someone else through this, than i have gone through it in vain". she offered to come to my first appt with the onc... an offer which i plan to take her up on.
neither one of us planned to be at bob evans that day... but for some reason, we both wound up there. and i am glad that we did.
Links:
• Fox Chase Virtua Health: http://www.virtua.org/page.cfm?id=cancer_home
• Bob Evans: http://www.bobevans.com/