posted Saturday, 31 December 2005
With my surgery so early in January, I decided it was just too much to try to make the trek up to Boston, to spend New Year's Eve at the Courtside, celebrating the 30th birthday of my good friend Rich. Somewhat bummed about that decision, I looked for a fun way to spend the night close to home. Last year, Nancy and I decided last minute to have people over and it was a really enjoyable time. So, we decided to host the 2nd annual, totally-last-minute New Year's Eve party at my house. It turned out better than I could have imagined, with a really great mix of people (I suppose the only thing that *could* have turned out better was if I hadn't left the lasagna in the oven for 3 hours... right...)
Not only did the group there have a fantastic time, but we got word from Susie and Jaeger that they had gotten engaged that evening - what a celebration we had for them! I love it when such goodness happens to such great people!
Happy New Year! Happy Birthday Richie & Vlad!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
posted Sunday, 25 December 2005
As often happens, I have neglected my blog for a week or so, prefering to focus on living life, rather than regaling it! A few of you have noticed that you sometimes will check my blog and not see any new posts and then suddenly, 3 or 4 posts will appear.... that just means that I finally got around to sitting and writing again... and I did a few posts in one sitting!
I truly hope that you were all able to have a wonderful holiday. I let the stress build a little bit when I got word that my surgery would be scheduled for January 4th (I had been planning for mid/late January!) I am definitely not complaining though! I went up to New Brunswick to get a second opinion from the Chief of Plastic Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson. Immediately, I felt much more comfortable with Dr Borah (especially compared to the first plastic surgeon that I had met with). He made me feel smart and really set me at ease, so that I was able to ask him even those questions that are a bit embarassing or uncomfortable. He made eye contact when we talked, as opposed to burying his head in my file, with his back turned... the only complication was that he works in a different hospital than Dr Dultz... but at this point, I "ain't too proud to beg"... and so I did... and it worked out (quicker than I imagined!). Anyways, with a lot to do in the two weeks before my surgery I must admit, I was a little bit stressed out the week before Christmas (with my family visiting and trying to travel to see friends and extended family...) Of course, much of that stress was unnecessarily self-inflicted... were my parents really going to be inspecting my house for dirt while they were here?
Once the holiday arrived, I was able to sit back and relax a little. Mom and Dad came out on Saturday evening and I prepared a Christmas Eve dinner for them, Charlene & Jeremy & Nancy. After an early dinner, we sat around, playing games for a few hours, enjoying each other's company. It really was a nice evening.
Christmas morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island, to visit my dad's sister. The Casill Family Christmas is always a fairly involved event, with nearly 25 people there (only a few of the clan were missing... I was sad that I didn't get a chance to see Donna & her girls, Brian & Tommy). Of course, Aunt Doris and Grandpa were also in my thoughts. I especially love to see all the little ones as they raced around the house - Diana, Brian, Jessica & Courtney... with Alyssa & Hannah, who are on the brink of being too old for all the play and with whom it was nice to sit and chat with for a while. It's also nice to see my cousins Laura & Gene, David, Michael, Paula, Vinnie & Kerry and my brother John & his girlfriend Bonnie -- and to get to know them better as adults. Then there's my crazy Aunts & Uncles, whose love and support and laughter always makes my day. Last, but not least, is Grandma. What a tough lady she is. I am so thankful for Marilyn, her care-taker, whose compassion and love are evident to all. Christmas at the Casill's is not complete without a visit from good old Saint Nick! He takes time out, at the end of a very busy night, to come and hand out the Secret Santa presents and pose for pictures. What a guy! Thanks to my secret santa. I actually wound up exchanging the wine glasses for martini glasses at Pier One, since I have a full set of wine glasses... but I loved the pattern and I pretty much love anything from Pier One!
Of course, my Christmas visits with friends didn't end there... on Monday, my roommate from college, Sarah & her husband Chris stopped by for a visit on their way back to DC from his folk's place in north Jersey. It's always great to catch up with them.
I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. I was disappointed with myself for not getting cards out this year. I really enjoyed all the cards that I received, especially the ones with pictures of the little ones! I hope you all know that you were in my thoughts despite the fact that I was unable to get out personal greetings. I wish you all the best for a happy and *healthy* 2006.
LC
As often happens, I have neglected my blog for a week or so, prefering to focus on living life, rather than regaling it! A few of you have noticed that you sometimes will check my blog and not see any new posts and then suddenly, 3 or 4 posts will appear.... that just means that I finally got around to sitting and writing again... and I did a few posts in one sitting!
I truly hope that you were all able to have a wonderful holiday. I let the stress build a little bit when I got word that my surgery would be scheduled for January 4th (I had been planning for mid/late January!) I am definitely not complaining though! I went up to New Brunswick to get a second opinion from the Chief of Plastic Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson. Immediately, I felt much more comfortable with Dr Borah (especially compared to the first plastic surgeon that I had met with). He made me feel smart and really set me at ease, so that I was able to ask him even those questions that are a bit embarassing or uncomfortable. He made eye contact when we talked, as opposed to burying his head in my file, with his back turned... the only complication was that he works in a different hospital than Dr Dultz... but at this point, I "ain't too proud to beg"... and so I did... and it worked out (quicker than I imagined!). Anyways, with a lot to do in the two weeks before my surgery I must admit, I was a little bit stressed out the week before Christmas (with my family visiting and trying to travel to see friends and extended family...) Of course, much of that stress was unnecessarily self-inflicted... were my parents really going to be inspecting my house for dirt while they were here?
Once the holiday arrived, I was able to sit back and relax a little. Mom and Dad came out on Saturday evening and I prepared a Christmas Eve dinner for them, Charlene & Jeremy & Nancy. After an early dinner, we sat around, playing games for a few hours, enjoying each other's company. It really was a nice evening.
Christmas morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island, to visit my dad's sister. The Casill Family Christmas is always a fairly involved event, with nearly 25 people there (only a few of the clan were missing... I was sad that I didn't get a chance to see Donna & her girls, Brian & Tommy). Of course, Aunt Doris and Grandpa were also in my thoughts. I especially love to see all the little ones as they raced around the house - Diana, Brian, Jessica & Courtney... with Alyssa & Hannah, who are on the brink of being too old for all the play and with whom it was nice to sit and chat with for a while. It's also nice to see my cousins Laura & Gene, David, Michael, Paula, Vinnie & Kerry and my brother John & his girlfriend Bonnie -- and to get to know them better as adults. Then there's my crazy Aunts & Uncles, whose love and support and laughter always makes my day. Last, but not least, is Grandma. What a tough lady she is. I am so thankful for Marilyn, her care-taker, whose compassion and love are evident to all. Christmas at the Casill's is not complete without a visit from good old Saint Nick! He takes time out, at the end of a very busy night, to come and hand out the Secret Santa presents and pose for pictures. What a guy! Thanks to my secret santa. I actually wound up exchanging the wine glasses for martini glasses at Pier One, since I have a full set of wine glasses... but I loved the pattern and I pretty much love anything from Pier One!
Of course, my Christmas visits with friends didn't end there... on Monday, my roommate from college, Sarah & her husband Chris stopped by for a visit on their way back to DC from his folk's place in north Jersey. It's always great to catch up with them.
I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. I was disappointed with myself for not getting cards out this year. I really enjoyed all the cards that I received, especially the ones with pictures of the little ones! I hope you all know that you were in my thoughts despite the fact that I was unable to get out personal greetings. I wish you all the best for a happy and *healthy* 2006.
LC
Merry Christmas!
posted Sunday, 25 December 2005
As often happens, I have neglected my blog for a week or so, prefering to focus on living life, rather than regaling it! A few of you have noticed that you sometimes will check my blog and not see any new posts and then suddenly, 3 or 4 posts will appear.... that just means that I finally got around to sitting and writing again... and I did a few posts in one sitting! I truly hope that you were all able to have a wonderful holiday. I let the stress build a little bit when I got word that my surgery would be scheduled for January 4th (I had been planning for mid/late January!) I am definitely not complaining though! I went up to New Brunswick to get a second opinion from the Chief of Plastic Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson. Immediately, I felt much more comfortable with Dr Borah (especially compared to the first plastic surgeon that I had met with). He made me feel smart and really set me at ease, so that I was able to ask him even those questions that are a bit embarassing or uncomfortable. He made eye contact when we talked, as opposed to burying his head in my file, with his back turned... the only complication was that he works in a different hospital than Dr Dultz... but at this point, I "ain't too proud to beg"... and so I did... and it worked out (quicker than I imagined!). Anyways, with a lot to do in the two weeks before my surgery I must admit, I was a little bit stressed out the week before Christmas (with my family visiting and trying to travel to see friends and extended family...) Of course, much of that stress was unnecessarily self-inflicted... were my parents really going to be inspecting my house for dirt while they were here?
Once the holiday arrived, I was able to sit back and relax a little. Mom and Dad came out on Saturday evening and I prepared a Christmas Eve dinner for them, Charlene & Jeremy & Nancy. After an early dinner, we sat around, playing games for a few hours, enjoying each other's company. It really was a nice evening.
Christmas morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island, to visit my dad's sister. The Casill Family Christmas is always a fairly involved event, with nearly 25 people there (only a few of the clan were missing... I was sad that I didn't get a chance to see Donna & her girls, Brian & Tommy). Of course, Aunt Doris and Grandpa were also in my thoughts. I especially love to see all the little ones as they raced around the house - Diana, Brian, Jessica & Courtney... with Alyssa & Hannah, who are on the brink of being too old for all the play and with whom it was nice to sit and chat with for a while. It's also nice to see my cousins Laura & Gene, David, Michael, Paula, Vinnie & Kerry and my brother John & his girlfriend Bonnie -- and to get to know them better as adults. Then there's my crazy Aunts & Uncles, whose love and support and laughter always makes my day. Last, but not least, is Grandma. What a tough lady she is. I am so thankful for Marilyn, her care-taker, whose compassion and love are evident to all. Christmas at the Casill's is not complete without a visit from good old Saint Nick! He takes time out, at the end of a very busy night, to come and hand out the Secret Santa presents and pose for pictures. What a guy! Thanks to my secret santa. I actually wound up exchanging the wine glasses for martini glasses at Pier One, since I have a full set of wine glasses... but I loved the pattern and I pretty much love anything from Pier One!
Of course, my Christmas visits with friends didn't end there... on Monday, my roommate from college, Sarah & her husband Chris stopped by for a visit on their way back to DC from his folk's place in north Jersey. It's always great to catch up with them.
I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. I was disappointed with myself for not getting cards out this year. I really enjoyed all the cards that I received, especially the ones with pictures of the little ones! I hope you all know that you were in my thoughts despite the fact that I was unable to get out personal greetings. I wish you all the best for a happy and *healthy* 2006.
LC
Comments:
2. alyssa left...
it was so great to see you!!!
you are always in my heart, mind, and prayers. ~alyssa~
3. kaori left... Tuesday, 3 January 2006 5:53 pm
it was so great to see you!!! you are always in my heart, mind, and prayers. ~alyssa~
Tuesday, 3 January 2006 10:30 pm
hey linda, it was so nice to see you, and in such great spirits! good luck on your surgery tomorrow! kaori
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
BACK ON THE ROAD
posted Tuesday, 20 December 2005
I'm back on the road again, riding high in my new 2005 Toyota Rav 4! After test-driving nearly every small SUV on the market, along with several of the sport wagons, I settled on the cute little Rav 4. The negotiations were a little tiring... and my car dealer was quite the character. I nearly walked and drove out to a PA dealer to buy it... but realized that there are some perks that dealers give you if you service with them and I might as well be close by.
My favorite obnoxious comment from my dealer came as he was trying to push a red 4x2, with beige interior.... I explained that I have a black dog and would strongly prefer the charcoal interior... and would take a car that was black, red or blue. He commented that it shouldn't matter what color the interior is... wasn't I planning to clean it after the dog? Well, duh... I'll clean my car, but not every day. He then suggested that I buy the beige interior car and get seat covers from Walmart that I could even just throw out when they get dirty (they only cost $8)... but who wants seat covers in a brand new car? and the seat covers certainly do not cost just $8.... I finally told him that if I was going to spend over $20k on a new car, that I shouldn't have to settle or explain my preference for a dark interior...
Anyways, we finally found a black 4x4 with gray interior... sounded like we'd be all set. They'd be installing a sunroof & heated seats (I really wanted heated seats, but most dealers only have the option with leather seats... and I don't want leather...). As I was filling out my credit application, the dealer returned... commented on my monthly salary... and asked if I would adopt him (just another example of how inappropriate this guy was!). I couldn't believe it.
Anyways, it's good to be back on the road again... I must admit... I do feel a pang of sorrow when I pass a cute little VW cabrio on the road these days though....
I'm back on the road again, riding high in my new 2005 Toyota Rav 4! After test-driving nearly every small SUV on the market, along with several of the sport wagons, I settled on the cute little Rav 4. The negotiations were a little tiring... and my car dealer was quite the character. I nearly walked and drove out to a PA dealer to buy it... but realized that there are some perks that dealers give you if you service with them and I might as well be close by.
My favorite obnoxious comment from my dealer came as he was trying to push a red 4x2, with beige interior.... I explained that I have a black dog and would strongly prefer the charcoal interior... and would take a car that was black, red or blue. He commented that it shouldn't matter what color the interior is... wasn't I planning to clean it after the dog? Well, duh... I'll clean my car, but not every day. He then suggested that I buy the beige interior car and get seat covers from Walmart that I could even just throw out when they get dirty (they only cost $8)... but who wants seat covers in a brand new car? and the seat covers certainly do not cost just $8.... I finally told him that if I was going to spend over $20k on a new car, that I shouldn't have to settle or explain my preference for a dark interior...
Anyways, we finally found a black 4x4 with gray interior... sounded like we'd be all set. They'd be installing a sunroof & heated seats (I really wanted heated seats, but most dealers only have the option with leather seats... and I don't want leather...). As I was filling out my credit application, the dealer returned... commented on my monthly salary... and asked if I would adopt him (just another example of how inappropriate this guy was!). I couldn't believe it.
Anyways, it's good to be back on the road again... I must admit... I do feel a pang of sorrow when I pass a cute little VW cabrio on the road these days though....
Sunday, December 18, 2005
The Bilinski Christmas Cookie "Smack Down"
posted Sunday, 18 December 2005
Stacey Bilinski hosted a Cookie "SmackDown" competition/party in Robbinsville, NJ. Following is the re-cap of the events (as recalled by Stacey)
Just a quick re-cap of yesterday's 2005 Cookie Smackdown. It was a small but intense competition. I also want to point out that it appears that the strick hand washing policy was adhered to (thanks Bonny) and no incidence of gi disturbances have been reported. This years competition, I decided to bring out of retirement, my peanut butter balls, thinking this was a slam dunk, I prepared the balls in advance had them chilling. But I guess I was too confident in my confection, and went to put Amber down for her nap, leaving my melting chocolate on the double boiler. Thank goodness for Nancy's olfactory perception or we may have had an inferno. Note to self, dont leave things on the stove top, and make sure fire extenguisher is close at hand. So after the first failed attempt I started again, and could not seem to get into the groove, despite several attempts to modify the chocolate coating, I ended up with a lump like consistency making my chocolate peanut butter balls look like turds from rabbits on steroids.
Thankfully the judges took pity on me, and I received an honorable mention. Rounding out the competition were 3 rookies, Bonny, Nancy, and Linda. So there was going to be a new champion - but who?? Was it going to be Nancy, who admittedly has only baked cookies once before? Linda, using her Grandma Cassill's secret recipe and an contraption similar to an Austin Power's like penile enhancment pump, or Bonny with her tried (at least once before) oatmeal, peanut, chocolate chunk cookies. We also had 2 new judges, and some fabulous prizes. Drum role pulllleez....
Runner up and favorite cookie of the those under 3 was Nancy's chocolate swirl chip, next was Linda's festive butter cookies and Bonny was the champ with her delicious prize winning entry.
Nancy, LC & Bonny prepare their dough... Nancy steers clear of the electric mixer, preferring to stir her dough by hand (though the video I took of her "stirring" the dough shows it was not without cost)
The ladies retreat to the hot-tub with Stacey to relax...
While the judges slave away inside, tasting the entries...
1. Mona left... Nancy always liked to help me make chocolate chip cookies, but for some reason refused to use the electric mixer. She always preferred to stir the dough by hand! The secret to great cc cookies is to refrigerate the dough overnight. Poor Nancy didn't stand a chance with her room temperature concoction. I'm glad she got honorable mention anyway. I enjoyed your photos which are making me very hungry. Have a great Christmas!!! Love, Mona
2. Mom left... Thursday, 22 December 2005 10:41 pm
Nancy always liked to help me make chocolate chip cookies, but for some reason refused to use the electric mixer. She always preferred to stir the dough by hand! The secret to great cc cookies is to refrigerate the dough overnight. Poor Nancy didn't stand a chance with her room temperature concoction. I'm glad she got honorable mention anyway. I enjoyed your photos which are making me very hungry. Have a great Christmas!!! Love, Mona Thursday, 22 December 2005 11:36 pm
Those cookies look great! I hope there will be some like that for Christmas. It is always more fun to bake with friends. I baked with my girlfriends many times, but never thought about making it a competition with prizes. Great idea!
Monday, December 12, 2005
LIKE WATCHING GRASS GROW
posted Monday, 12 December 2005
Some of you may know that my hair is beginning to grow back. At first, it was just one hair. You had to look sideways, across the top of my head, to see it... but I knew it was there. Now, there are a bunch... and they are soft and furry, like baby hair... as opposed to the first few, which were like razor stubble. I wonder what color it will be! I hope it is curly!
If I can remember, I am going to try to copy Karin Stack's Journal of her Hair Regrowth (see below). I'm not sure what intervals she took her photos at, but I've heard that hair grows 1/4 inch per month on average... so maybe these are weekly shots?
Some of you may know that my hair is beginning to grow back. At first, it was just one hair. You had to look sideways, across the top of my head, to see it... but I knew it was there. Now, there are a bunch... and they are soft and furry, like baby hair... as opposed to the first few, which were like razor stubble. I wonder what color it will be! I hope it is curly!
If I can remember, I am going to try to copy Karin Stack's Journal of her Hair Regrowth (see below). I'm not sure what intervals she took her photos at, but I've heard that hair grows 1/4 inch per month on average... so maybe these are weekly shots?
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHEMO
posted Monday, 12 December 2005
Those of you who have never been close to chemo may not get all the references, but there are still some neat messages...
The Night Before Chemo
By Heather Warrick
T’was the night before chemo, when all through the room
Not a patient was stirring, from Ativan I presume
The chemo bags were hung on I.V. poles with care
In hopes that a cure soon would be there
The patients were nestled all snug in their lounge chairs
Sipping Ensure and hugging Relay teddy bears
And the nurse in her scrubs and I in my wig
Had just settled down for another chemo gig
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter
Away to the window, I flew like a flash
Tore open the blinds and threw up on the glass
Soothing my nausea with the fresh cool breeze
The wind took my wig and it flew with such ease
When what to my wondering eyes did I see?
Eight tiny nurses giggling with glee
Leading the pack was an oncologist so sweet
With a mission of cancer that they would beat
To help with side effects from chemo we blame
Was his arsenal of drugs that he shouted by name
"Now Xanax!, now Ativan!, now Zofran! and Compazine!
Lets offer comfort with bon bons and magazines.”
"On Vicodin!, on Darvocet!, on Tylenol! and Morphine!
Let’s make them loopy and make a big scene!”
To the top of Mt. Courage, to the top of Mt. Hope
Now dash away, dash away so we can help cope
With tumors and lesions and lumps it is clear
We must make their cancer finally disappear!
So up to the clinic-top, they flew and flew
With a sleigh full of drugs and the doctor too
Then with a jingling I heard from their purse
Was the prancing and pawing of each little nurse
As I drew in my head and was turning around
In through the vent the doctor came with a bound
His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples so merry
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry
He was dressed all in white with an ugly plaid tie
He preached to the patients, “Do not ask why.”
Have courage, choose hope and just think positive
Live, love and laugh and your life will be lucrative
Never forget that you are heroes in my book
Conquering cancer without a second look
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He soon let me know I had nothing to dread
A bundle of drugs he had flung on his back
He looked like a drug dealer opening his pack
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
Making me feel sick, so I called him a jerk
A human pin cushion, I had become
So multiple pokes, again I succumb
But then I remembered, my life he was saving
So I realized I better start really behaving
"What comes around goes around" I always say
And a bad attitude might haunt me one day
I thanked him for fighting with me side by side
With two against one, cancer cannot hide
Then laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the vent he rose
He sprang to his sleigh, gave the nurses a sign
To travel the world fighting cancer like mine
The sleigh was our hope and he was the driver
Bringing strength and good cheer to every survivor
I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!
Those of you who have never been close to chemo may not get all the references, but there are still some neat messages...
The Night Before Chemo
By Heather Warrick
T’was the night before chemo, when all through the room
Not a patient was stirring, from Ativan I presume
The chemo bags were hung on I.V. poles with care
In hopes that a cure soon would be there
The patients were nestled all snug in their lounge chairs
Sipping Ensure and hugging Relay teddy bears
And the nurse in her scrubs and I in my wig
Had just settled down for another chemo gig
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter
Away to the window, I flew like a flash
Tore open the blinds and threw up on the glass
Soothing my nausea with the fresh cool breeze
The wind took my wig and it flew with such ease
When what to my wondering eyes did I see?
Eight tiny nurses giggling with glee
Leading the pack was an oncologist so sweet
With a mission of cancer that they would beat
To help with side effects from chemo we blame
Was his arsenal of drugs that he shouted by name
"Now Xanax!, now Ativan!, now Zofran! and Compazine!
Lets offer comfort with bon bons and magazines.”
"On Vicodin!, on Darvocet!, on Tylenol! and Morphine!
Let’s make them loopy and make a big scene!”
To the top of Mt. Courage, to the top of Mt. Hope
Now dash away, dash away so we can help cope
With tumors and lesions and lumps it is clear
We must make their cancer finally disappear!
So up to the clinic-top, they flew and flew
With a sleigh full of drugs and the doctor too
Then with a jingling I heard from their purse
Was the prancing and pawing of each little nurse
As I drew in my head and was turning around
In through the vent the doctor came with a bound
His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples so merry
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry
He was dressed all in white with an ugly plaid tie
He preached to the patients, “Do not ask why.”
Have courage, choose hope and just think positive
Live, love and laugh and your life will be lucrative
Never forget that you are heroes in my book
Conquering cancer without a second look
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He soon let me know I had nothing to dread
A bundle of drugs he had flung on his back
He looked like a drug dealer opening his pack
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
Making me feel sick, so I called him a jerk
A human pin cushion, I had become
So multiple pokes, again I succumb
But then I remembered, my life he was saving
So I realized I better start really behaving
"What comes around goes around" I always say
And a bad attitude might haunt me one day
I thanked him for fighting with me side by side
With two against one, cancer cannot hide
Then laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the vent he rose
He sprang to his sleigh, gave the nurses a sign
To travel the world fighting cancer like mine
The sleigh was our hope and he was the driver
Bringing strength and good cheer to every survivor
I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
SMASHY SMASHY
posted Saturday, 10 December 2005
Today was my ZS holiday party in NYC. Before the party, I thought it would be nice to take Otis out to the dog park to get some exercise and hopefully play with some other pups. I was almost there... I looked up to find the park entrance, as I had only been there once before and noticed that it was at the next traffic light. What I did not notice... was the SUV sitting in my lane, waiting to make a left hand turn, with no blinker or brake lights on. At the very last minute, I saw him. I looked up to see if there was oncoming traffic, noticed it was clear and swerved hard to my left to try to avoid him.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the car, which was full of smoke... and a man was yelling to me to get out of the car. I was stunned. He kept yelling and I managed to get out of the car. Otis, however, was frozen. He had jumped back behind my rear seats, into the storage cubby that the roof folds into when the convertible top is down. He would not get out of the car. I couldn't pick him up and pull him out... he just sat there, terrified and trembling. The people around kept trying to get me away from the car, but I couldn't leave Otis in there. After 10 minutes, he finally jumped out of the car and started running around (obviously/thankfully not injured).
Nobody in either car was hurt. It could have been a lot worse (if there had been cars coming in the opposite direction, etc). It still really blows. I consider myself a very safe, attentive driver. I can't understand how I didn't see him. It really is unbelievable. Looking at my car, I can't believe that I stood up and walked away from the car. Both front airbags deployed, the window was smashed, the passenger door won't open, the hood is crunched all the way up to the windshield & parts of the engine are missing.... once again, I feel lucky to be alive... (enough already! I get the point! I am thankful for all that I have - my family, friends, puppy, talents and health!)
The accident happened near my house. Of course, nearly all my friends live 30-45 minutes north. Charlene & Jeremy were in Florida. Crash was in Virginia. Crash called Jim, my friend Cindy's boyfriend, who I met very briefly once before. He lives nearby and he graciously came and picked me up. Thank you Jim!
The car is totalled. I guess it was time for a new car anyways... I've always liked the Subaru Outback Sport, but 3 of my friends have nixed that (what's wrong with the subaru?)... I am also thinking about a small SUV (mileage is actually not terrible in the small SUVs or a hybrid... maybe even the Ford Escape Hybrid)... I'd really like to splurge on a navigation system. Any thoughts/ideas/comments?
Today was my ZS holiday party in NYC. Before the party, I thought it would be nice to take Otis out to the dog park to get some exercise and hopefully play with some other pups. I was almost there... I looked up to find the park entrance, as I had only been there once before and noticed that it was at the next traffic light. What I did not notice... was the SUV sitting in my lane, waiting to make a left hand turn, with no blinker or brake lights on. At the very last minute, I saw him. I looked up to see if there was oncoming traffic, noticed it was clear and swerved hard to my left to try to avoid him.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the car, which was full of smoke... and a man was yelling to me to get out of the car. I was stunned. He kept yelling and I managed to get out of the car. Otis, however, was frozen. He had jumped back behind my rear seats, into the storage cubby that the roof folds into when the convertible top is down. He would not get out of the car. I couldn't pick him up and pull him out... he just sat there, terrified and trembling. The people around kept trying to get me away from the car, but I couldn't leave Otis in there. After 10 minutes, he finally jumped out of the car and started running around (obviously/thankfully not injured).
Nobody in either car was hurt. It could have been a lot worse (if there had been cars coming in the opposite direction, etc). It still really blows. I consider myself a very safe, attentive driver. I can't understand how I didn't see him. It really is unbelievable. Looking at my car, I can't believe that I stood up and walked away from the car. Both front airbags deployed, the window was smashed, the passenger door won't open, the hood is crunched all the way up to the windshield & parts of the engine are missing.... once again, I feel lucky to be alive... (enough already! I get the point! I am thankful for all that I have - my family, friends, puppy, talents and health!)
The accident happened near my house. Of course, nearly all my friends live 30-45 minutes north. Charlene & Jeremy were in Florida. Crash was in Virginia. Crash called Jim, my friend Cindy's boyfriend, who I met very briefly once before. He lives nearby and he graciously came and picked me up. Thank you Jim!
The car is totalled. I guess it was time for a new car anyways... I've always liked the Subaru Outback Sport, but 3 of my friends have nixed that (what's wrong with the subaru?)... I am also thinking about a small SUV (mileage is actually not terrible in the small SUVs or a hybrid... maybe even the Ford Escape Hybrid)... I'd really like to splurge on a navigation system. Any thoughts/ideas/comments?
Wednesday, December 7, 2005
OLD MAN
posted Wednesday, 7 December 2005
A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dad today!
Though my friends thought he was "scary" (in particular, Gina, who wouldn't come over to play if he was home... and Jack, who thought he was some sort of GI Joe in everyday life), those close to him know what a big teddy bear he is... shhh... don't tell anyone....
The past few years have seen our family faced with more than one challenge. I am impressed with the manner in which you faced each one head on. From helping us with our homework... to taking us camping (at Darien Lake, no less)...to serving our country... to loving and nurturing our mother... to shaving your baby girl's head... You have been an example to us of what it means to be a loving husband and father.
I love you Dad! Happy Birthday!
A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dad today!
Though my friends thought he was "scary" (in particular, Gina, who wouldn't come over to play if he was home... and Jack, who thought he was some sort of GI Joe in everyday life), those close to him know what a big teddy bear he is... shhh... don't tell anyone....
The past few years have seen our family faced with more than one challenge. I am impressed with the manner in which you faced each one head on. From helping us with our homework... to taking us camping (at Darien Lake, no less)...to serving our country... to loving and nurturing our mother... to shaving your baby girl's head... You have been an example to us of what it means to be a loving husband and father.
I love you Dad! Happy Birthday!
Monday, December 5, 2005
NIP TUCK
posted Monday, 5 December 2005
Ok, so I had some misguided perception that all plastic surgeons would be young... fairly attractive... and funny.... no such luck.
As you know, I *love* my breast surgeon, Dr Dultz. She is kind of like my college track coach, ShaSha (if he told me to run 100 miles, I would have done it... because I knew that if he recommended it, it would make me better), except she's ridding my body of cancer and he just made my body jump farther.
Anyways... Dr Dultz gave me a list of 6 or 7 plastic surgeons that she recommended. Of course... not one of them accepts my insurance. In fact, there are only 3 surgeons in central jersey who do accept my insurance - one in Trenton, one in Princeton & one in New Brunswick. Dr Dultz told me she had "heard of" the guy in Princeton, but didn't really recommend one way or the other.
So I went to meet with him (since out-of-network coverage would only be 50% and this type of surgery runs at least $20k per breast - wowsa!). Dr W was kind of like that other dr on nip-tuck... the one with the curly hair... but add 50 pounds, 20 years and visibly waxy ears. Not that I judge a dr based on his appearance... it's just one of those things where you have one picture in your mind and the person inevitably looks nothing like that picture. Turns out Dr W played ultimate frisbee at Duke many moons ago... so I thought "great! I will have an instant connection with him"
Not really. He was very informative. Basically, there are two kinds of reconstruction currently used:
After the reconstruction, they often do a nipple reconstruction (still not sure how they do that) and then they tattoo on the nipple to make it look real. Huh - never thought that I would get a tattoo... mom's not going to like that ;)
Dr W told me that I probably don't have enough body fat to do the tram flap, which is fine with me - I don't think I would have really considered it. He also said that if I reconstruct with implants, provided that I don't want to upgrade to a "voluptuous C-cup", that I wouldn't need the expanders... they could just put the implants in at the beginning.
However, he did say that I couldn't drive for 3 weeks after the surgery and couldn't lift my arms over my head or exercise (other than walking) for 3 months after the surgery. That sounds crazy. I can see why they don't want me playing frisbee, but no stationary bike... no running... for 3 months? That seems a bit excessive.
Over all, Dr W wasn't horrible... but it wasn't that instant comfort level that I felt with Dr Dultz or Dr Cairoli. I made an appt with the Dr up in New Brunswick for next week. He is the chief of the plastic surgery department at Robert Wood (RWJ)... decent credentials... he has rights at Princeton Medical Center (where Dr Dultz works), but according to the receptionist, he only does reconstruction at RWJ. Ugh. It's much better to do this all in one shot... maybe if I beg? Well, it's worth the second opinion, even if I don't go with him for the surgery... it may make it more clear whether or not I should go with Dr W. What a pain! I can't imagine being so discontent with my own body that I would pursue this voluntarily... just for looks...
Ok, so I had some misguided perception that all plastic surgeons would be young... fairly attractive... and funny.... no such luck.
As you know, I *love* my breast surgeon, Dr Dultz. She is kind of like my college track coach, ShaSha (if he told me to run 100 miles, I would have done it... because I knew that if he recommended it, it would make me better), except she's ridding my body of cancer and he just made my body jump farther.
Anyways... Dr Dultz gave me a list of 6 or 7 plastic surgeons that she recommended. Of course... not one of them accepts my insurance. In fact, there are only 3 surgeons in central jersey who do accept my insurance - one in Trenton, one in Princeton & one in New Brunswick. Dr Dultz told me she had "heard of" the guy in Princeton, but didn't really recommend one way or the other.
So I went to meet with him (since out-of-network coverage would only be 50% and this type of surgery runs at least $20k per breast - wowsa!). Dr W was kind of like that other dr on nip-tuck... the one with the curly hair... but add 50 pounds, 20 years and visibly waxy ears. Not that I judge a dr based on his appearance... it's just one of those things where you have one picture in your mind and the person inevitably looks nothing like that picture. Turns out Dr W played ultimate frisbee at Duke many moons ago... so I thought "great! I will have an instant connection with him"
Not really. He was very informative. Basically, there are two kinds of reconstruction currently used:
After the reconstruction, they often do a nipple reconstruction (still not sure how they do that) and then they tattoo on the nipple to make it look real. Huh - never thought that I would get a tattoo... mom's not going to like that ;)
Dr W told me that I probably don't have enough body fat to do the tram flap, which is fine with me - I don't think I would have really considered it. He also said that if I reconstruct with implants, provided that I don't want to upgrade to a "voluptuous C-cup", that I wouldn't need the expanders... they could just put the implants in at the beginning.
However, he did say that I couldn't drive for 3 weeks after the surgery and couldn't lift my arms over my head or exercise (other than walking) for 3 months after the surgery. That sounds crazy. I can see why they don't want me playing frisbee, but no stationary bike... no running... for 3 months? That seems a bit excessive.
Over all, Dr W wasn't horrible... but it wasn't that instant comfort level that I felt with Dr Dultz or Dr Cairoli. I made an appt with the Dr up in New Brunswick for next week. He is the chief of the plastic surgery department at Robert Wood (RWJ)... decent credentials... he has rights at Princeton Medical Center (where Dr Dultz works), but according to the receptionist, he only does reconstruction at RWJ. Ugh. It's much better to do this all in one shot... maybe if I beg? Well, it's worth the second opinion, even if I don't go with him for the surgery... it may make it more clear whether or not I should go with Dr W. What a pain! I can't imagine being so discontent with my own body that I would pursue this voluntarily... just for looks...
Thursday, December 1, 2005
MY DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID (GENETIC TESTING)
posted Thursday, 1 December 2005
Just a quick note: my insurance company *finally* pre-approved my genetic testing (they wouldn't draw blood until the insurance approval came in...which took over a month to do...I mean, clearly I was trying to scam the system and get unnecessary needle sticks and testing...)
I met with Bridget (the same nurse that I met with for the initial counseling, along with another genetics expert to go over the final information. Basically, they wanted me to understand that the test may or may not provide conclusive information... and since I am the first person in my family being tested, even a "negative" result is not really conclusive (the only conclusive negative is if I were to test positive and another family member tested negative, since they already know exactly what it was that caused my cancer -- my family member does not have that genetic defect and is therefore a true negative) -- the tests are not always complete (they only test 80% of the DNA sequence) and there may be other genetic causes of breast cancer that they don't know how to test for yet. Ok, I get it... just take my blood and send it out already!
****any of my needle-queasy-friends should skip the next paragraph***
Finally, we headed to the lab. Anita, the same woman who always tested my blood before chemo, finally arrives and preps for the draw. My vein is apparently still quite hard from all the poisons they've been pumping into me. She inserts the needle and misses. I am stunned... this is my first "miss"... I mean, I've heard stories, but never had a problem myself... She jabs the needle around a few more times in my arm and finally gets the blood flowing. Not real pleasant... not really looking forward to giving them any more access to my veins... but at least this is done.
I should get results in 3-5 weeks. It will make a nice Christmas gift. Since I want to have surgery done by early January, we are cutting it close. Serves me right for procrastinating so much (but the insurance issue was not one I had anticipated). As I mentioned before, if the results come back positive, there is a very high risk that I will develop another tumor in the currently healthy breast (over a 50% chance...I don't remember the exact #s). As such, my dr has encouraged me to consider a "prophylactic bilateral mastectomy" (they have to take the left, as it currently has DCIS in it... but they would also take the right, to significantly reduce the chance of developing a future cancer) - to me it sounds like a no-brainer. In all honesty, it would make my decisions around surgery easier to have something conclusive to base it on (as the prophlactic surgery is always an option, regardless of the results)... but I guess I won't stress over it until I have all the information... then I will stress if I need to!
Just a quick note: my insurance company *finally* pre-approved my genetic testing (they wouldn't draw blood until the insurance approval came in...which took over a month to do...I mean, clearly I was trying to scam the system and get unnecessary needle sticks and testing...)
I met with Bridget (the same nurse that I met with for the initial counseling, along with another genetics expert to go over the final information. Basically, they wanted me to understand that the test may or may not provide conclusive information... and since I am the first person in my family being tested, even a "negative" result is not really conclusive (the only conclusive negative is if I were to test positive and another family member tested negative, since they already know exactly what it was that caused my cancer -- my family member does not have that genetic defect and is therefore a true negative) -- the tests are not always complete (they only test 80% of the DNA sequence) and there may be other genetic causes of breast cancer that they don't know how to test for yet. Ok, I get it... just take my blood and send it out already!
****any of my needle-queasy-friends should skip the next paragraph***
Finally, we headed to the lab. Anita, the same woman who always tested my blood before chemo, finally arrives and preps for the draw. My vein is apparently still quite hard from all the poisons they've been pumping into me. She inserts the needle and misses. I am stunned... this is my first "miss"... I mean, I've heard stories, but never had a problem myself... She jabs the needle around a few more times in my arm and finally gets the blood flowing. Not real pleasant... not really looking forward to giving them any more access to my veins... but at least this is done.
I should get results in 3-5 weeks. It will make a nice Christmas gift. Since I want to have surgery done by early January, we are cutting it close. Serves me right for procrastinating so much (but the insurance issue was not one I had anticipated). As I mentioned before, if the results come back positive, there is a very high risk that I will develop another tumor in the currently healthy breast (over a 50% chance...I don't remember the exact #s). As such, my dr has encouraged me to consider a "prophylactic bilateral mastectomy" (they have to take the left, as it currently has DCIS in it... but they would also take the right, to significantly reduce the chance of developing a future cancer) - to me it sounds like a no-brainer. In all honesty, it would make my decisions around surgery easier to have something conclusive to base it on (as the prophlactic surgery is always an option, regardless of the results)... but I guess I won't stress over it until I have all the information... then I will stress if I need to!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
posted Thursday, 1 December 2005
The NNJ branch of the YSC (Young Survivor Coalition) hosted their first annual Survivor Celebration this evening. I decided to hike up to north jersey to check it out, hoping that at least there would be some good (free) food! Halfway there, I had a sudden realization: " what if nobody likes me and I sit by myself all night, looking awkward? worse - what if the dinner is just sandwiches and i drove all the way up here (1 1/2 hrs) for a bad dinner eaten all by myself??" My friend Mellen reassured me, and I continued on my way.
As I strode through the reception area at the hotel hosting the event, a woman approached me and asked if I was looking for the YSC event. Ok, I am so ready for my hair to grow back so that I am not the easily recognizable girl with cancer. But I guess it beat me walking around for hours, looking for the event.
I signed in and was handed a pink goody bag (actually had some nice stuff in it) and joined the other 20/30-somethings mingling in the room. Conversation was a little bit strained... but not terrible. I mean, we all knew we had one thing in common, but do you really want to open your conversation with "hey, are you estrogen receptor positive? --Me too!!!!" Two women were heading back out to the hotel bar to grab a glass of wine, so I jumped in and asked them to "wait for me!" Beth & Sue turned out to be pretty easy to talk to. On the way to & from the bar, we realized that we were all athletes... and not just gals who do aerobics (no offense to those gals, but that's who the YSC put Beth in touch with when she wanted to talk to someone else who was into sports), but pretty hard core athletes. Beth & Sue play on a club field hockey team. Beth was diagnosed 3 years ago - had chemo, mastectomy, reconstruction...the works... and was back out on the field... alas! Someone who could relate to my freakish woes about being able to play again! She confirmed that her saline implants were pretty darn sturdy and withstood some bruising and banging out on the field! Excellent news! And new friends!
The evening was 100% worth the drive (dinner was tasty too!)... not sure that I will trudge back up there for their monthly meetings, but it's good to know this group exists. And, honestyly, it was nice to see that I wasn't alone... that there are other folks my age dealing with similar situations... not that I wish to see others battling as myself (I certainly don't wish it on anyone!) but there was something about being in a room of 30 young women, who had fought and won... and continue the fight...
The NNJ branch of the YSC (Young Survivor Coalition) hosted their first annual Survivor Celebration this evening. I decided to hike up to north jersey to check it out, hoping that at least there would be some good (free) food! Halfway there, I had a sudden realization: " what if nobody likes me and I sit by myself all night, looking awkward? worse - what if the dinner is just sandwiches and i drove all the way up here (1 1/2 hrs) for a bad dinner eaten all by myself??" My friend Mellen reassured me, and I continued on my way.
As I strode through the reception area at the hotel hosting the event, a woman approached me and asked if I was looking for the YSC event. Ok, I am so ready for my hair to grow back so that I am not the easily recognizable girl with cancer. But I guess it beat me walking around for hours, looking for the event.
I signed in and was handed a pink goody bag (actually had some nice stuff in it) and joined the other 20/30-somethings mingling in the room. Conversation was a little bit strained... but not terrible. I mean, we all knew we had one thing in common, but do you really want to open your conversation with "hey, are you estrogen receptor positive? --Me too!!!!" Two women were heading back out to the hotel bar to grab a glass of wine, so I jumped in and asked them to "wait for me!" Beth & Sue turned out to be pretty easy to talk to. On the way to & from the bar, we realized that we were all athletes... and not just gals who do aerobics (no offense to those gals, but that's who the YSC put Beth in touch with when she wanted to talk to someone else who was into sports), but pretty hard core athletes. Beth & Sue play on a club field hockey team. Beth was diagnosed 3 years ago - had chemo, mastectomy, reconstruction...the works... and was back out on the field... alas! Someone who could relate to my freakish woes about being able to play again! She confirmed that her saline implants were pretty darn sturdy and withstood some bruising and banging out on the field! Excellent news! And new friends!
The evening was 100% worth the drive (dinner was tasty too!)... not sure that I will trudge back up there for their monthly meetings, but it's good to know this group exists. And, honestyly, it was nice to see that I wasn't alone... that there are other folks my age dealing with similar situations... not that I wish to see others battling as myself (I certainly don't wish it on anyone!) but there was something about being in a room of 30 young women, who had fought and won... and continue the fight...
Thursday, November 24, 2005
GIVING THANKS
posted Thursday, 24 November 2005
The initial thought was to hold Thanksgiving dinner in NJ, so that I wouldn't have to travel, but Nancy's parents just happen to live about 10 minutes from my brother, John's, house in Rhode Island. Since I don't get many chances to see the LaRosee (mom's) side of the family very often, I wanted to take advantage of this "small world" coincidence. I caught a ride with Nancy (and Dave, Aviva & Ed -- full car!) to Warwick, RI. On Thanksgiving, Mom, Dad, John, Bonnie (his girlfriend) and I headed out to the cape to Aunt Mary Ellen & Bill's house for dinner. Bill is quite a cook - nobody went hungry! Grammy & Grampy were there, along with Aunt Kathy (my favorite godmother) and my cousins: Alex, Danny, Brian (and Jessica stopped by briefly too).
My family plays lots of games. Lots of games. A favorite: "stories". These are similar to madlibs, but they are stories that my grandmother & aunts have written over the years, starring none other than us! Cards, containing lists of nouns, are handed out to everyone playing. The story-teller begins, and each time he reaches a "blank" in the story, the next person in the circle reads the next word on their card. So I'm not sure how these "stories" will translate to those who weren't there, but it turns out:
• Mike wears a "toilet seat" on his head to protect it from the sun (Mike is almost as follicle-ly challenged as I am currently)
• Grampy brought a "sugar-daddy" home for my grandmother every day after work
• He also gaver her a dozen pickles that she put in a vase
• On their first date, Bill brought Aunt Mary Ellen a dozen dollar bills
I got a chance to meet my Uncle Arthur, who I haven't seen in 25 years, along with my cousin, Dan, and his family, who I haven't seen in 5 years. It's saying things like that that makes me sad that I don't get to see this side of the family very often.
The initial thought was to hold Thanksgiving dinner in NJ, so that I wouldn't have to travel, but Nancy's parents just happen to live about 10 minutes from my brother, John's, house in Rhode Island. Since I don't get many chances to see the LaRosee (mom's) side of the family very often, I wanted to take advantage of this "small world" coincidence. I caught a ride with Nancy (and Dave, Aviva & Ed -- full car!) to Warwick, RI. On Thanksgiving, Mom, Dad, John, Bonnie (his girlfriend) and I headed out to the cape to Aunt Mary Ellen & Bill's house for dinner. Bill is quite a cook - nobody went hungry! Grammy & Grampy were there, along with Aunt Kathy (my favorite godmother) and my cousins: Alex, Danny, Brian (and Jessica stopped by briefly too).
My family plays lots of games. Lots of games. A favorite: "stories". These are similar to madlibs, but they are stories that my grandmother & aunts have written over the years, starring none other than us! Cards, containing lists of nouns, are handed out to everyone playing. The story-teller begins, and each time he reaches a "blank" in the story, the next person in the circle reads the next word on their card. So I'm not sure how these "stories" will translate to those who weren't there, but it turns out:
• Mike wears a "toilet seat" on his head to protect it from the sun (Mike is almost as follicle-ly challenged as I am currently)
• Grampy brought a "sugar-daddy" home for my grandmother every day after work
• He also gaver her a dozen pickles that she put in a vase
• On their first date, Bill brought Aunt Mary Ellen a dozen dollar bills
I got a chance to meet my Uncle Arthur, who I haven't seen in 25 years, along with my cousin, Dan, and his family, who I haven't seen in 5 years. It's saying things like that that makes me sad that I don't get to see this side of the family very often.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Waste some time...
posted Tuesday, 22 November 2005
I am becoming a master at wasting time on the internet... I'm not sure whether that is really something to be proud of though! These are some fun new toys that I added to my site. The links are found along the right hand side of the main web page:
GUESTMAP
You place a pushpin into the map to show where you are... and you can leave a little message. It takes only a minute to do, so take a look and show me where you are!
FRIENDSTER
Many of you know what Friendster is... ok, so it's a little bit cheesy... but it's fun and a good waste of time!
LC
I am becoming a master at wasting time on the internet... I'm not sure whether that is really something to be proud of though! These are some fun new toys that I added to my site. The links are found along the right hand side of the main web page:
GUESTMAP
You place a pushpin into the map to show where you are... and you can leave a little message. It takes only a minute to do, so take a look and show me where you are!
FRIENDSTER
Many of you know what Friendster is... ok, so it's a little bit cheesy... but it's fun and a good waste of time!
LC
WHAT CANCER CANNOT DO...
posted Tuesday, 22 November 2005
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love, nor shelter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot destroy peace.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
It cannot conquer the spirit.
-Author Unknown
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love, nor shelter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot destroy peace.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
It cannot conquer the spirit.
-Author Unknown
Monday, November 21, 2005
POD
posted Monday, 21 November 2005
My friends continue to make me feel loved like I never imagined. Abby & Maura drove from Boston this morning, to take me out for a celebration dinner. 6 hours in the car to take a friend to dinner? Crazy. That is love.
Nancy joined us for a fancy, dress-up dinner in Philly at a trendy place called Pod. They convinced me to wear a feather boa (which was a gift from Jess Jarvis), because "when else do you get to wear a feather boa"? Good point.
We could only get reservations at 5:45pm (fairly early), but we were hungry, so it worked fine. Their martini cocktails were color coded -- I had pink, Nancy yellow, Maura blue, and Abby green. We ordered several appetizers & 4 meals & shared it all family-style... yum... the chocolate trio for dessert wasn't bad either...
We were planning to have a night out on the town, but we wrapped up dinner by 7:30... the city isn't exactly "hopping" at 7:30pm... we would have to wait 4 hours before things would really get crazy... and we were all getting tired... so we headed back to my house and watched gilmore girls. just as good!
My friends continue to make me feel loved like I never imagined. Abby & Maura drove from Boston this morning, to take me out for a celebration dinner. 6 hours in the car to take a friend to dinner? Crazy. That is love.
Nancy joined us for a fancy, dress-up dinner in Philly at a trendy place called Pod. They convinced me to wear a feather boa (which was a gift from Jess Jarvis), because "when else do you get to wear a feather boa"? Good point.
We could only get reservations at 5:45pm (fairly early), but we were hungry, so it worked fine. Their martini cocktails were color coded -- I had pink, Nancy yellow, Maura blue, and Abby green. We ordered several appetizers & 4 meals & shared it all family-style... yum... the chocolate trio for dessert wasn't bad either...
We were planning to have a night out on the town, but we wrapped up dinner by 7:30... the city isn't exactly "hopping" at 7:30pm... we would have to wait 4 hours before things would really get crazy... and we were all getting tired... so we headed back to my house and watched gilmore girls. just as good!
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
FOURTH AND FINAL TAXOL...
posted Wednesday, 16 November 2005
16 needle sticks... 8 doses of poison... 4 months... fortunately, only 1 episode of "praying to the porcelain gods"... and I am done!
My last chemo was today. Jackson had asked to take me (gosh - what a blessing to have someone *ask me* if he could take me to chemo... so I didn't have to go out and ask anybody...) - I think he just wanted to watch a few more episodes of Friends (on my portable dvd player that the Charest's gave me)!
During my meeting with Dr Cairoli, I asked him what we do from here. Well, he considers me "cured", which sounds pretty good to me. I will meet with him every 3 months, for the next 3 years. He will examine me and they will do a blood test (to look at liver & bone function). I will be on tamoxifen for the next 5 years. Surgery is planned for January (still no date). They don't re-do all the scans anymore (bone scan, pet scan, muga scan, etc). They found that the emotional drain of the scans (because they are so sensitive and come up with a lot of false positives) wasn't worth it, because usually, they were only finding things a few weeks earlier with the scans... usually, you know that something is going on, by the time it starts showing up in a scan... After we discussed all of this, he told me he was proud of me and gave me a hug. I lost it. I didn't cry when they told me I had cancer. I didn't cry when they told me I would need surgery... or chemo... or more surgery (ok- I cried in my car when I got the message, but not in front of the drs)... or that I may never be able to have children (ok- I almost cried then in front of dr cairoli, but managed to save it for home)... but today, I cried in the office... Dr Cairoli told Annette that "Linda is doing really well... but she's all business"... not today. For some reason, all those emotions that I keep buried somewhere deep inside came flooding out... I guess I had been fighting to be tough for so long that the thought of this battle nearing an end was just a bit overwhelming.
It was a good thing this was my last chemo, because Peggy had a hard time hitting a vein in my hand. My veins are pretty fried from all the chemo and it took a minute to get the IV situated and set. At the end of the treatment, all the nurses came over and sang to me. They gave me a "diploma" and all gave me hugs... and of course, I cried again... what a wreck I was.
Here's what my "diploma" read:
The nurses of HOA would like to extend our best wishes to you as you move on today with the completion of your chemotherapy. May the same strength, courage, and determination that pushed you through the challenges and difficult times during the course of your treatment continue to guide you. We celebrate this time with you and want you to know that it is truly our privilege to know you.
To Peggy, Rose, Janet, Sandy, Linda & Peggy - it is truly *my* privilege to know you. Your nursing expertise was apparent from the start -- your compassion and love were too. I will forever be impressed by and thankful for your knowledge, dedication, compassion and friendship.
16 needle sticks... 8 doses of poison... 4 months... fortunately, only 1 episode of "praying to the porcelain gods"... and I am done!
My last chemo was today. Jackson had asked to take me (gosh - what a blessing to have someone *ask me* if he could take me to chemo... so I didn't have to go out and ask anybody...) - I think he just wanted to watch a few more episodes of Friends (on my portable dvd player that the Charest's gave me)!
During my meeting with Dr Cairoli, I asked him what we do from here. Well, he considers me "cured", which sounds pretty good to me. I will meet with him every 3 months, for the next 3 years. He will examine me and they will do a blood test (to look at liver & bone function). I will be on tamoxifen for the next 5 years. Surgery is planned for January (still no date). They don't re-do all the scans anymore (bone scan, pet scan, muga scan, etc). They found that the emotional drain of the scans (because they are so sensitive and come up with a lot of false positives) wasn't worth it, because usually, they were only finding things a few weeks earlier with the scans... usually, you know that something is going on, by the time it starts showing up in a scan... After we discussed all of this, he told me he was proud of me and gave me a hug. I lost it. I didn't cry when they told me I had cancer. I didn't cry when they told me I would need surgery... or chemo... or more surgery (ok- I cried in my car when I got the message, but not in front of the drs)... or that I may never be able to have children (ok- I almost cried then in front of dr cairoli, but managed to save it for home)... but today, I cried in the office... Dr Cairoli told Annette that "Linda is doing really well... but she's all business"... not today. For some reason, all those emotions that I keep buried somewhere deep inside came flooding out... I guess I had been fighting to be tough for so long that the thought of this battle nearing an end was just a bit overwhelming.
It was a good thing this was my last chemo, because Peggy had a hard time hitting a vein in my hand. My veins are pretty fried from all the chemo and it took a minute to get the IV situated and set. At the end of the treatment, all the nurses came over and sang to me. They gave me a "diploma" and all gave me hugs... and of course, I cried again... what a wreck I was.
Here's what my "diploma" read:
The nurses of HOA would like to extend our best wishes to you as you move on today with the completion of your chemotherapy. May the same strength, courage, and determination that pushed you through the challenges and difficult times during the course of your treatment continue to guide you. We celebrate this time with you and want you to know that it is truly our privilege to know you.
To Peggy, Rose, Janet, Sandy, Linda & Peggy - it is truly *my* privilege to know you. Your nursing expertise was apparent from the start -- your compassion and love were too. I will forever be impressed by and thankful for your knowledge, dedication, compassion and friendship.
Monday, November 14, 2005
10TH ANNUAL TRUDGE - FRISBEE THANKSGIVING
posted Monday, 14 November 2005
So every year, for the past 10 years, a group of misfits gathers in troy, ny, to celebrate each other and give thanks for friendship & frisbee. The event was born in 1996, when 10 or 15 of gathered at the first "frisbee house", with laura k, spaeth, alicia and fritz (the rookies) dressed as little kids, while we all decked out for the "frisbee formal". Natale, in true turkey-day style, prepared a feast fit for kings... Steeto said Grace... and we ate, drank and made merry.
Each year, saw the addition of new players, new events and new traditions. Some favorites:
• the year that tate et al told maura, wong and i that we would again be formal... and then everyone else dressed as if headed to a halloween party
• old school vs new school frisbee game in 1997
• alumni vs the undergrads game in 1998 -
• round robin "hat" tourney
• turtle race & boat race added on Friday night
• skillz competition
• t-shirts: designs included "wife-beater" tank tops with super-spaeth, triple boob-sanda/vogel/steeto, old doods
• Tina Shield does a fantastic job filling the large shoes of Matt Natale in the kitchen
This year saw perhaps the largest crowd ever. Friday night was a "rubik's cube mixer", where everyone wore articles of clothing in red, yellow, orange, green, blue & white. During the party, everyone traded clothes, attempting to wind up all in one color. Our team for the hat tourney appeared stacked, with Jim, Rich, Vogel, Pete, Meg & myself... plus some undergrads...but we let brandon's team win, for fear that they would sulk all night. The alumni suited up (me in my fabulous 4 costume) for the alumni vs undergrads game. Historically, the alumni clobber the undergrads. At my last event (2003), we won 15-4. But over time, more and more of the sucky undergrads graduated, becoming alumni... and the day had come that the alumni team had collected critical mass of sucky young doods. The undergrads had finally put together a team with some skill... and it showed. I'm sure that someone has the final score, but I don't (selective memory). I am embarassed to say that the undergrads won the game this year.... perhaps I will see them at regionals this spring (good luck trudge!)
I will not dwell on the loss though... we headed home to shower and then over to the Sage dining hall for dinner. The event has grown so large (and Matt & Tina are no longer around to coordinate the kitchen activities), so the dinner is now catered. I must say, RPI did a nice job with the dinner, and it was nice that nobody had to cook/clean/etc.
Unbeknownst to me, Vogel/Tate/Natale organized a collection and trudge kicked in just over $1,000 for NJ Race for the Cure. Amazing generosity, from alumni & undergrads alike. I was extremely touched & thankful for this gesture. trudge is the best!
So every year, for the past 10 years, a group of misfits gathers in troy, ny, to celebrate each other and give thanks for friendship & frisbee. The event was born in 1996, when 10 or 15 of gathered at the first "frisbee house", with laura k, spaeth, alicia and fritz (the rookies) dressed as little kids, while we all decked out for the "frisbee formal". Natale, in true turkey-day style, prepared a feast fit for kings... Steeto said Grace... and we ate, drank and made merry.
Each year, saw the addition of new players, new events and new traditions. Some favorites:
• the year that tate et al told maura, wong and i that we would again be formal... and then everyone else dressed as if headed to a halloween party
• old school vs new school frisbee game in 1997
• alumni vs the undergrads game in 1998 -
• round robin "hat" tourney
• turtle race & boat race added on Friday night
• skillz competition
• t-shirts: designs included "wife-beater" tank tops with super-spaeth, triple boob-sanda/vogel/steeto, old doods
• Tina Shield does a fantastic job filling the large shoes of Matt Natale in the kitchen
This year saw perhaps the largest crowd ever. Friday night was a "rubik's cube mixer", where everyone wore articles of clothing in red, yellow, orange, green, blue & white. During the party, everyone traded clothes, attempting to wind up all in one color. Our team for the hat tourney appeared stacked, with Jim, Rich, Vogel, Pete, Meg & myself... plus some undergrads...but we let brandon's team win, for fear that they would sulk all night. The alumni suited up (me in my fabulous 4 costume) for the alumni vs undergrads game. Historically, the alumni clobber the undergrads. At my last event (2003), we won 15-4. But over time, more and more of the sucky undergrads graduated, becoming alumni... and the day had come that the alumni team had collected critical mass of sucky young doods. The undergrads had finally put together a team with some skill... and it showed. I'm sure that someone has the final score, but I don't (selective memory). I am embarassed to say that the undergrads won the game this year.... perhaps I will see them at regionals this spring (good luck trudge!)
I will not dwell on the loss though... we headed home to shower and then over to the Sage dining hall for dinner. The event has grown so large (and Matt & Tina are no longer around to coordinate the kitchen activities), so the dinner is now catered. I must say, RPI did a nice job with the dinner, and it was nice that nobody had to cook/clean/etc.
Unbeknownst to me, Vogel/Tate/Natale organized a collection and trudge kicked in just over $1,000 for NJ Race for the Cure. Amazing generosity, from alumni & undergrads alike. I was extremely touched & thankful for this gesture. trudge is the best!
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
TAXOL #3 AND SEARCHING FOR THE JERSEY DEVIL
posted Wednesday, 9 November 2005
Taxol #3 has been and gone, with relatively little drama. Mom came down to take me to chemo and stayed for a few days visit. She came down on Tuesday night, and by the time we went out for dinner, the place I wanted to go to was closed... so we opted for Cold Stone Creamery for dinner... yum! (though I would take halo pub over cold stone any day of the week!)
On Thursday, we had a picnic lunch with Charlene and then took Otis & Quinton to the dog park. Quinton is Otis's new buddy and they LOVE going to the huge dog park in Medford.... but they are also quite happy just hanging out in the dog run at Charlene's!
Mom took good care of me -- cooked me dinner, brought me cookies & cranberry bread and played with Otis while I went into work on Friday (yes - I occasionally go into work... I know... I just can't keep away!)
On Saturday, Nancy and I took Otis down to the Lebanon State Forest in the pine barrens for a little hike... Rumor has it that the Jersey Devil haunts the pine barrens, but we didn't come across anybody except for this beautiful stray puppy who followed us out of the parking lot. Otis and he were like two pees in a pod, and they had a blast frolicking about on the first half of our trip. We hiked an easy 3 miles along a very wide, flat path, out to Pakim Pond, where we rested for a little bit. A couple that was hanging out by the pond offered to take our new little friend and try to find his home, which was probably for the best (since my car was pretty crowded already and I don't think Nancy was looking forward to riding home with this strange dog)... thank goodness, because I certainly couldn't have left the poor guy out there by himself! We hiked the 3 miles back to our car along a section of the Batona Trail, which is a 50 mile trail through the pine barrens.
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
It was my pleasure to be able to be there and be Mom for a few days. I miss you so much. Looks like you had a great day in the woods.
Taxol #3 has been and gone, with relatively little drama. Mom came down to take me to chemo and stayed for a few days visit. She came down on Tuesday night, and by the time we went out for dinner, the place I wanted to go to was closed... so we opted for Cold Stone Creamery for dinner... yum! (though I would take halo pub over cold stone any day of the week!)
On Thursday, we had a picnic lunch with Charlene and then took Otis & Quinton to the dog park. Quinton is Otis's new buddy and they LOVE going to the huge dog park in Medford.... but they are also quite happy just hanging out in the dog run at Charlene's!
Mom took good care of me -- cooked me dinner, brought me cookies & cranberry bread and played with Otis while I went into work on Friday (yes - I occasionally go into work... I know... I just can't keep away!)
On Saturday, Nancy and I took Otis down to the Lebanon State Forest in the pine barrens for a little hike... Rumor has it that the Jersey Devil haunts the pine barrens, but we didn't come across anybody except for this beautiful stray puppy who followed us out of the parking lot. Otis and he were like two pees in a pod, and they had a blast frolicking about on the first half of our trip. We hiked an easy 3 miles along a very wide, flat path, out to Pakim Pond, where we rested for a little bit. A couple that was hanging out by the pond offered to take our new little friend and try to find his home, which was probably for the best (since my car was pretty crowded already and I don't think Nancy was looking forward to riding home with this strange dog)... thank goodness, because I certainly couldn't have left the poor guy out there by himself! We hiked the 3 miles back to our car along a section of the Batona Trail, which is a 50 mile trail through the pine barrens.
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
It was my pleasure to be able to be there and be Mom for a few days. I miss you so much. Looks like you had a great day in the woods.
Thursday, November 3, 2005
ME & OTIS - ISN'T HE THE CUTEST THING EVER?
posted Thursday, 3 November 2005
JOHN MADE THIS COMMENT,
He's close, but not quite as cute as Molly.
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
I think it is a tie. Molly is the cutest girl dog and Otis is the cutest boy dog.
JOHN MADE THIS COMMENT,
He's close, but not quite as cute as Molly.
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
I think it is a tie. Molly is the cutest girl dog and Otis is the cutest boy dog.
Monday, October 31, 2005
NATIONALS 2005
posted Monday, 31 October 2005
It's kind of funny that we all spend the year gearing up for "Nationals"... just to see "Furious George", a team from Canada, win the whole thing... but every year, for the past 4 years, me and my NJ frisbee buds pack up and head south to Sarasota, FL, along with hundreds of ultimate players from around North America. The beaches of Siesta Key are suddenly over-run with made up frisbee games and crazy kids from across the country (and Canada). This year was no different.
Ok, so I was totally bummed that Wicked didn't make it... but Pike (the NJ men's team) did... and since I wasn't working... and so many of my pals were playing... and tickets were only $150... I figured "why not go?". I was totally sold once Susie decided to go (she just moved to Seattle, so it would be fun to hang with her down in sunny FL!) and booked my flight.
I flew down solo on Thursday afternoon and bummed around for a few hours, waiting for Susie to get in. I asked the guy at the rental car counter where I could kill a few hours and he sent me to the mall nearby... but this was no ordinary mall... this was the cadillac of malls! Movado, Tiffanys, fancy tea shops where you could buy $30 bags of tea... where the mall in Rochester had a funny, interactive "ball maze" in the middle of the mall, this mall had leather recliners to sit down and relax in. Each shop lures you in and encourages you to look around by offering free freshly baked chocolate chip cookies... I nearly spent $600 on a new watch, but narrowly escaped. Phew - it was a close one!
Once Susie arrived, we headed south to Siesta Key, an island with powder white sand, located very near the frisbee fields. The team had rented several condos on the beach and I shared one with Susie & Jaeger... while initially reluctant to go down solo, I am so glad that I did -- I got to (in no particular order):
• watch some fairly decent ultimate
• catch up with Fish & Stu (once wtk & I finally found the place they were staying!)
• hang with Susie, Jaeger, Regetz & Sue Peters (NJ emmigrants)
• get hugs from Greg Sanda
• shop in the $15 bins at Gaia
• kick d ho's butt at quizzo with the help of Dan Heckman
• work on my tan (I still have a tanline along my "hairline")
• spend a day at the beach before heading back north
JENNIFER MADE THIS COMMENT,
Hey Linda! sounds like you had a great time. By chance, did you go to International Mall? Siesta Key is only about an hour south of me and my company has property there!
It's kind of funny that we all spend the year gearing up for "Nationals"... just to see "Furious George", a team from Canada, win the whole thing... but every year, for the past 4 years, me and my NJ frisbee buds pack up and head south to Sarasota, FL, along with hundreds of ultimate players from around North America. The beaches of Siesta Key are suddenly over-run with made up frisbee games and crazy kids from across the country (and Canada). This year was no different.
Ok, so I was totally bummed that Wicked didn't make it... but Pike (the NJ men's team) did... and since I wasn't working... and so many of my pals were playing... and tickets were only $150... I figured "why not go?". I was totally sold once Susie decided to go (she just moved to Seattle, so it would be fun to hang with her down in sunny FL!) and booked my flight.
I flew down solo on Thursday afternoon and bummed around for a few hours, waiting for Susie to get in. I asked the guy at the rental car counter where I could kill a few hours and he sent me to the mall nearby... but this was no ordinary mall... this was the cadillac of malls! Movado, Tiffanys, fancy tea shops where you could buy $30 bags of tea... where the mall in Rochester had a funny, interactive "ball maze" in the middle of the mall, this mall had leather recliners to sit down and relax in. Each shop lures you in and encourages you to look around by offering free freshly baked chocolate chip cookies... I nearly spent $600 on a new watch, but narrowly escaped. Phew - it was a close one!
Once Susie arrived, we headed south to Siesta Key, an island with powder white sand, located very near the frisbee fields. The team had rented several condos on the beach and I shared one with Susie & Jaeger... while initially reluctant to go down solo, I am so glad that I did -- I got to (in no particular order):
• watch some fairly decent ultimate
• catch up with Fish & Stu (once wtk & I finally found the place they were staying!)
• hang with Susie, Jaeger, Regetz & Sue Peters (NJ emmigrants)
• get hugs from Greg Sanda
• shop in the $15 bins at Gaia
• kick d ho's butt at quizzo with the help of Dan Heckman
• work on my tan (I still have a tanline along my "hairline")
• spend a day at the beach before heading back north
JENNIFER MADE THIS COMMENT,
Hey Linda! sounds like you had a great time. By chance, did you go to International Mall? Siesta Key is only about an hour south of me and my company has property there!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
FAMILY RISK ASSESSMENT
posted Tuesday, 25 October 2005
Today I met with a nurse, Bridget, who manages the "Family Risk Assessment" program at Virtua. We spent two hours, going through my detailed family medical history and talking about genetic testing. Most of what she told me was a repeat of the information that I learned at the Living Beyond Breast Cancer seminar. Bridget agreed that my family appears to be fairly healthy and that while there are a few distant relatives who had breast cancer, my history does not strongly suggest the existence of a gene mutation. My age is really the only indicator that I may carry this genetic mutation, so I definitely plan to go ahead with the testing. I asked Bridget what the reasons were that people chose NOT to do the test... her answer: they don't plan to do anything with the information (ie- additional screening, prophylactic surgery, telling other family memebers, etc). Well, I definitely plan to use the information, so I see no reason not to move forward.
I've been talking to Dr Dultz & Dr Cairoli and since the margins of my 2nd surgery still had DCIS present, I am going to move forward with a mastectomy, where they will remove my entire left breast (likely in January). I will be meeting with a plastic surgeon before-hand, to discuss reconstruction options. Part of me is thinking - hey! why not take advantage of this whole situation and trade in my "Asian A's" for a B-cup. Yes, I'd have to update my lingerie collection (ok - so "lingerie collection" may be an overstatement)... but heck, why not? But as I thought more about it... I wonder whether I would ever be able to lay out again in ultimate? If not, I may delay the reconstruction until I am done playing competitive frisbee. You may think this sounds crazy, but I LOVE to play... I've been really sad to take this time off and I miss it terribly. The thought of coming back stronger than ever next year has been one that I hang onto as I stand on the sidelines, watching my girls play... I know that living life a bit lopsided will present its own challenges, but really - I doubt it will be THAT noticable... as it is, I didn't have much "native breast tissue" to begin with (as Dr Cairoli told me!) I think I'd rather live with that than live without the ability to play the game I love....
Also, *if* I were to find that I carry the BRCA1 or 2 genes, I would have to seriously consider additional surgery. With a BRCA1 or 2 mutation, I would have a significant risk of developing breast cancer on the other side... so it might be worth it to do a double (bilateral) mastectomy, rather than just unilateral. I mean, while they're in there, they might as well keep things symmetrical, right!?
So I was all gung ho to get this started...but it looks like it will be a slow process. The test itself is only done by one company & it costs $3k. So, they negotiate with your insurance company to get approval first... which takes a few weeks... and then do the test... which takes another few weeks. I guess we'll wait & see what happens.
On the way out of the hospital today, I met the sweetest little old lady... we were waiting for the elevator together and she was so excited about the fact that the dr had taken her in early and she had gotten done so quickly. I told her "well, you can't compain about that, can you?" And she said - "certainly not. But I don't believe in complaining anyways".. To which I replied "you know, your right... it doesn't really make anyone feel any better, does it?". "Nope" she smiled. She went on to mutter about how thankful she was for the valet parking service at the hospital (it was another rainy day and while so many would have complained about the rain, she totally looked on the bright side and said she was thankful for the valets...) She's so right... in so many ways.s.. and I've smiled several times as I think of her...
More on Genetics & Breast Cancer
Comments:
MARY MADE THIS COMMENT,
It is so good to hear from you again. Just want you to know that you are my "little old lady". I smile every time that I think of you. Your courage and strength is inspiring. Now that it sounds like fisbe is over maybe you can find some time to visit??!! We would love to have you anytime. The kids miss you too. As always you are in my thoughts and prayers.
KATIE MADE THIS COMMENT,
What a brain-full of information to process. I keep thinking of you and I love how beautiful you look without hair.
Today I met with a nurse, Bridget, who manages the "Family Risk Assessment" program at Virtua. We spent two hours, going through my detailed family medical history and talking about genetic testing. Most of what she told me was a repeat of the information that I learned at the Living Beyond Breast Cancer seminar. Bridget agreed that my family appears to be fairly healthy and that while there are a few distant relatives who had breast cancer, my history does not strongly suggest the existence of a gene mutation. My age is really the only indicator that I may carry this genetic mutation, so I definitely plan to go ahead with the testing. I asked Bridget what the reasons were that people chose NOT to do the test... her answer: they don't plan to do anything with the information (ie- additional screening, prophylactic surgery, telling other family memebers, etc). Well, I definitely plan to use the information, so I see no reason not to move forward.
I've been talking to Dr Dultz & Dr Cairoli and since the margins of my 2nd surgery still had DCIS present, I am going to move forward with a mastectomy, where they will remove my entire left breast (likely in January). I will be meeting with a plastic surgeon before-hand, to discuss reconstruction options. Part of me is thinking - hey! why not take advantage of this whole situation and trade in my "Asian A's" for a B-cup. Yes, I'd have to update my lingerie collection (ok - so "lingerie collection" may be an overstatement)... but heck, why not? But as I thought more about it... I wonder whether I would ever be able to lay out again in ultimate? If not, I may delay the reconstruction until I am done playing competitive frisbee. You may think this sounds crazy, but I LOVE to play... I've been really sad to take this time off and I miss it terribly. The thought of coming back stronger than ever next year has been one that I hang onto as I stand on the sidelines, watching my girls play... I know that living life a bit lopsided will present its own challenges, but really - I doubt it will be THAT noticable... as it is, I didn't have much "native breast tissue" to begin with (as Dr Cairoli told me!) I think I'd rather live with that than live without the ability to play the game I love....
Also, *if* I were to find that I carry the BRCA1 or 2 genes, I would have to seriously consider additional surgery. With a BRCA1 or 2 mutation, I would have a significant risk of developing breast cancer on the other side... so it might be worth it to do a double (bilateral) mastectomy, rather than just unilateral. I mean, while they're in there, they might as well keep things symmetrical, right!?
So I was all gung ho to get this started...but it looks like it will be a slow process. The test itself is only done by one company & it costs $3k. So, they negotiate with your insurance company to get approval first... which takes a few weeks... and then do the test... which takes another few weeks. I guess we'll wait & see what happens.
On the way out of the hospital today, I met the sweetest little old lady... we were waiting for the elevator together and she was so excited about the fact that the dr had taken her in early and she had gotten done so quickly. I told her "well, you can't compain about that, can you?" And she said - "certainly not. But I don't believe in complaining anyways".. To which I replied "you know, your right... it doesn't really make anyone feel any better, does it?". "Nope" she smiled. She went on to mutter about how thankful she was for the valet parking service at the hospital (it was another rainy day and while so many would have complained about the rain, she totally looked on the bright side and said she was thankful for the valets...) She's so right... in so many ways.s.. and I've smiled several times as I think of her...
More on Genetics & Breast Cancer
Comments:
MARY MADE THIS COMMENT,
It is so good to hear from you again. Just want you to know that you are my "little old lady". I smile every time that I think of you. Your courage and strength is inspiring. Now that it sounds like fisbe is over maybe you can find some time to visit??!! We would love to have you anytime. The kids miss you too. As always you are in my thoughts and prayers.
KATIE MADE THIS COMMENT,
What a brain-full of information to process. I keep thinking of you and I love how beautiful you look without hair.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Taxol #2
posted Tuesday, 18 October 2005
Has two weeks passed already??? Catie Flamme (pronounced "Flame" - what a great last name!) was my chaperone this time... and she was great! She brought along a few DVDs for us to watch, humored me by playing cribbage (Nancy thought the game was too weird and refused to play - click here to play cribbage online!) and even gave me a hand massage!
My blood counts are still fairly good (they always check my white & red blood cell counts to make sure that my body is rested enough for another dose of chemo) but I am starting to become anemic (my hemoglobin has dropped below 10, which is the cutoff). This is fairly common with chemo patients, and there is a shot, called Epogen, that can help rectify it. Epogen typically takes 4-6 weeks to really start working, and since I will be DONE in 4 weeks, they decided to hold off on the shots... we'll just monitor this and I'll have to take it a bit easier and rest more/eat better.
We picked on another vein this time and I took the IV in the side of my wrist (instead of the back of my hand). Last time, I got really sore all up the top of my arm, where the vein runs - felt like it was all bruised - so they wanted to give that set of veins a rest. Since my body tolerated the taxol well last time, I took the benadryl as a pill, and we started the taxol right off at full speed (as opposed to slowly building up)... so the day was a bit shorter (8:30am - 1 or so). I also mentioned the bone pain that I had experienced and they gave me a prescription for percocet.
We went for groceries and lunch afterwards... she hung around for the rest of the day and cooked me dinner (see - I told you she was great! - not that my other chaperones weren't great - they are all great in their own special way!)
On Wednesday morning, I slipped on the stairs and wound up sliding down the last 3 steps, spilling red gatorade all over the stairs... Way to start off the morning! I was ok and a bit of resolve took care of the stain...
The bone pain happened again this week - mostly on Wed/Thurs - and slightly worse than the first time (not sure if it was the chemo, the neulasta, the fall down the stairs... or a combination of all of the above!). I took advil/tylenol during the day and a perc before bed, which let me sleep. As it's getting colder, I've taken to wearing a cap on my head to sleep... my head gets so cold! I've been getting hot flashes at night since I started the taxol, so I typically rip it off at some point in the night! The taxol also causes an interesting side effect called "peripheral neuropathy". I didn't have it the first time, but apparently it happens as the taxol accumulates in your body... so it kicked in this time. Basically, my fingers and toes feel all tingly, like the pins & needles sensation you feel when your foot falls asleep - but in your fingers and toes... Pretty weird - not painful - just weird. This may have contributed to my slip on the stairs, so I better be careful now!
The good news: I went on Wed to pick up Otis! He is getting to be sooo good! I've taught him to sit, shake and lie down... he's so smart! What a pumpkin! He's such good company for me!
Has two weeks passed already??? Catie Flamme (pronounced "Flame" - what a great last name!) was my chaperone this time... and she was great! She brought along a few DVDs for us to watch, humored me by playing cribbage (Nancy thought the game was too weird and refused to play - click here to play cribbage online!) and even gave me a hand massage!
My blood counts are still fairly good (they always check my white & red blood cell counts to make sure that my body is rested enough for another dose of chemo) but I am starting to become anemic (my hemoglobin has dropped below 10, which is the cutoff). This is fairly common with chemo patients, and there is a shot, called Epogen, that can help rectify it. Epogen typically takes 4-6 weeks to really start working, and since I will be DONE in 4 weeks, they decided to hold off on the shots... we'll just monitor this and I'll have to take it a bit easier and rest more/eat better.
We picked on another vein this time and I took the IV in the side of my wrist (instead of the back of my hand). Last time, I got really sore all up the top of my arm, where the vein runs - felt like it was all bruised - so they wanted to give that set of veins a rest. Since my body tolerated the taxol well last time, I took the benadryl as a pill, and we started the taxol right off at full speed (as opposed to slowly building up)... so the day was a bit shorter (8:30am - 1 or so). I also mentioned the bone pain that I had experienced and they gave me a prescription for percocet.
We went for groceries and lunch afterwards... she hung around for the rest of the day and cooked me dinner (see - I told you she was great! - not that my other chaperones weren't great - they are all great in their own special way!)
On Wednesday morning, I slipped on the stairs and wound up sliding down the last 3 steps, spilling red gatorade all over the stairs... Way to start off the morning! I was ok and a bit of resolve took care of the stain...
The bone pain happened again this week - mostly on Wed/Thurs - and slightly worse than the first time (not sure if it was the chemo, the neulasta, the fall down the stairs... or a combination of all of the above!). I took advil/tylenol during the day and a perc before bed, which let me sleep. As it's getting colder, I've taken to wearing a cap on my head to sleep... my head gets so cold! I've been getting hot flashes at night since I started the taxol, so I typically rip it off at some point in the night! The taxol also causes an interesting side effect called "peripheral neuropathy". I didn't have it the first time, but apparently it happens as the taxol accumulates in your body... so it kicked in this time. Basically, my fingers and toes feel all tingly, like the pins & needles sensation you feel when your foot falls asleep - but in your fingers and toes... Pretty weird - not painful - just weird. This may have contributed to my slip on the stairs, so I better be careful now!
The good news: I went on Wed to pick up Otis! He is getting to be sooo good! I've taught him to sit, shake and lie down... he's so smart! What a pumpkin! He's such good company for me!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Race (Brunch?) for the CURE
posted Sunday, 16 October 2005
NJ got over 10" of rain in the past week and a half... resulting in some complications for the NJ Race for the Cure. After re-routing the race (due to flooding in part of the course), the Komen Foundation was forced to cancel the race this year. The tents that they had up were collapsing because the ground was so saturated and they didn't want to risk anyone getting hurt. This of course, is a huge blow to the organization -- they typically get a lot of donations on the day of the event & at this point, rescheduling appears nearly impossible. We are still collecting donations (through mid-November), so if you have not given yet, please visit my website and consider making a contribution. I am very close to my goal of raising $5000...
I didn't want this opportunity to escape though, so I invited all the folks who were racing to come to "brunch for the cure" with me at bob evans. we had a nice turnout and enjoyed a great breakfast and good company - thanks to those who volunteered to walk/run/sleep in for the cure & thanks to those who came out for brunch!
Counter-clockwise from lower left: Jess, Paul, LC, Rasika, Wanwipa, Dad, Nancy, Catie
(missing from photo: Bill, Liz & TC)
Saturday, October 15, 2005
WICKED FAKESGIVING
posted Saturday, 15 October 2005
For our end-of-season party, the ladies of wicked decided to throw a "fakesgiving" (kind of like thanksgiving) dinner. I hosted. Julie & Shelley came over around 1pm to start the turkey. I made vegitarian stuffing, which turned out sooo good... here's the recipe:
• Saute 6 stalks of celery, 1 med onion, & 6 cloves garlic in a stick of butter (ok... vegetarian does not necesarily mean healthy!)
• When the celery begins to soften, add a package of frozen morningstar breakfast sausage patties (the tofu kind) - as they cook, crumble them in the pan and mix together with the veggies
• Add another 1/2 to full stick of butter (trade off on taste vs fat!)
• Add a can of vegetable broth
• Mix in seasoned stuffing cubes until moist
• Add some craisins
• Bake in covered casserole dish for 30 minutes
All I can say is YUM!
We went through 20 lbs of turkey, nearly 10 lbs mashed potatoes, 2 bags of stuffing, and don't forget... 4 pickled beets (the person in charge of cranberry sauce couldn't find any... so she brought beets instead... while I am a fan of beets, I can't say I ate any at "fakesgiving dinner!")
The home video of Dolan vs Kimberly wrestling hasn't been finalized, but we'll see if I can share that at a later date... for now, I've got a few photos below...
AUNT MARYE MADE THIS COMMENT,
Wow, that stuffing recipe does sound good, I like the idea of the sweet fruit at the end. I may actually try it this year for Thanksgiving -- although your cousins are SO traditional; they have been known to scream bloody murder if everything isn't the exact same way it was last year and the year before cause it's not "right." However, maybe one change would be allowed. And by the way, at my house we had pickled beets every year at Thanksgiving when I grew up, cause my mom loved them. It took my brother and I many years to convince her she could actually eat them ANY time she wanted, cause she was a grownup and could make her own food choices. And neither beets not cranberries make the cut here.
Thanks for the photos. Those "I heart breasts" tees were so funny, and appropriate for several genders...Again, I'm go glad you have good funny friends, there's no substitute!
JOHN MADE THIS COMMENT,
You need to bring that funnel along when you come up for the real Thanksgiving. That could be a lot of fun. Oh, I mean, I need to get more antifreeze into my car, and I don't have a funnel, and since that's probably what that thing's for, you know, putting antifreeze into a few cars at once, you know...
For our end-of-season party, the ladies of wicked decided to throw a "fakesgiving" (kind of like thanksgiving) dinner. I hosted. Julie & Shelley came over around 1pm to start the turkey. I made vegitarian stuffing, which turned out sooo good... here's the recipe:
• Saute 6 stalks of celery, 1 med onion, & 6 cloves garlic in a stick of butter (ok... vegetarian does not necesarily mean healthy!)
• When the celery begins to soften, add a package of frozen morningstar breakfast sausage patties (the tofu kind) - as they cook, crumble them in the pan and mix together with the veggies
• Add another 1/2 to full stick of butter (trade off on taste vs fat!)
• Add a can of vegetable broth
• Mix in seasoned stuffing cubes until moist
• Add some craisins
• Bake in covered casserole dish for 30 minutes
All I can say is YUM!
We went through 20 lbs of turkey, nearly 10 lbs mashed potatoes, 2 bags of stuffing, and don't forget... 4 pickled beets (the person in charge of cranberry sauce couldn't find any... so she brought beets instead... while I am a fan of beets, I can't say I ate any at "fakesgiving dinner!")
The home video of Dolan vs Kimberly wrestling hasn't been finalized, but we'll see if I can share that at a later date... for now, I've got a few photos below...
AUNT MARYE MADE THIS COMMENT,
Wow, that stuffing recipe does sound good, I like the idea of the sweet fruit at the end. I may actually try it this year for Thanksgiving -- although your cousins are SO traditional; they have been known to scream bloody murder if everything isn't the exact same way it was last year and the year before cause it's not "right." However, maybe one change would be allowed. And by the way, at my house we had pickled beets every year at Thanksgiving when I grew up, cause my mom loved them. It took my brother and I many years to convince her she could actually eat them ANY time she wanted, cause she was a grownup and could make her own food choices. And neither beets not cranberries make the cut here.
Thanks for the photos. Those "I heart breasts" tees were so funny, and appropriate for several genders...Again, I'm go glad you have good funny friends, there's no substitute!
JOHN MADE THIS COMMENT,
You need to bring that funnel along when you come up for the real Thanksgiving. That could be a lot of fun. Oh, I mean, I need to get more antifreeze into my car, and I don't have a funnel, and since that's probably what that thing's for, you know, putting antifreeze into a few cars at once, you know...
Thursday, October 13, 2005
GET A JOB...
For 3 years at RPI, I was a work-study at the CDC (Career Development Center). The staff there was amazing... not only did they help me find a great job, they are great folks and they have become people that I am proud to call friends.
They've been a great support to me over the past few months, with emails, blog comments & a fantastic gift basket (that all my co-workers liked too!).
Stephanie, Anita, Judy, Diana & Tom (missing: Sherry) -- Thanks for all of your support... I love you guys! Otis seems to like them too!
They've been a great support to me over the past few months, with emails, blog comments & a fantastic gift basket (that all my co-workers liked too!).
Stephanie, Anita, Judy, Diana & Tom (missing: Sherry) -- Thanks for all of your support... I love you guys! Otis seems to like them too!
Thursday, October 6, 2005
CACHE MISSING: Taxol Treatment 1
posted Thursday, 6 October 2005
I'm officially just over halfway done with chemo -- yippee!
Today marked the start of phase 2: Taxol.
Taxol is another drug used frequently in breast cancer patients. The first time they administer it, they have you in a bed, which was nice, since they give you IV benadryl, which completely knocked me out. Jenny H took me for today's appointment. Apparently, the last time she was at my house, she took "the long way home" to Philly... she arrived at my house almost a full hour before my appt... so she climbed into bed and took a nice little nap!
There was a small mix-up at the drs today though... two others were also starting taxol, so the 2 beds were full. I had to wait an hour to get started, so Jenny & I hit the gift shop & coffee/cafe for a while (good thing we did, as the little wizard/dragon statues were on sale and she managed to pick one up for her fiance!)
We headed back upstairs and I settled down into a bed. They start you in a bed because there is a risk of allergic reaction to the taxol, so they give you your premeds, wait a half hour and then start you on the taxol... very slowly... and monitor your first half hour. Everything went smoothly once I got started though and I fairly quickly passed out into a benadryl-induced slumber.
Everyone thought Jenny was my sister (we don't really look the same, but I guess Jenny looks like me with no hair?!) and I caught the nurse giving her an appreciative lecture about how nice it was for her to come with me (I was asleep, but woke up halfway through their little chat... but pretended to still sleep... a little too awkward to pop my head into that!)... but she was right... I really do appreciate those who have taken time to go with me to chemo or take care of me afterwards!
The taxol seems easier than the AC. No nausea. Apparently I way-over-estimated how bad the nausea/vomiting would be and under-estimated how bad the "bone pain" would be... yes that's right... "bone pain"... This is the side effect most notorious of Taxol. Basically, two days after treatment, it sets in... and you feel like you've been run over by a truck. Lovely. But at least I have my appetite, right? Gotta count your blessings!
MIKE MADE THIS COMMENT,
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
JENNIFER BINKLEY MADE THIS COMMENT,
I'm officially just over halfway done with chemo -- yippee!
Today marked the start of phase 2: Taxol.
Taxol is another drug used frequently in breast cancer patients. The first time they administer it, they have you in a bed, which was nice, since they give you IV benadryl, which completely knocked me out. Jenny H took me for today's appointment. Apparently, the last time she was at my house, she took "the long way home" to Philly... she arrived at my house almost a full hour before my appt... so she climbed into bed and took a nice little nap!
There was a small mix-up at the drs today though... two others were also starting taxol, so the 2 beds were full. I had to wait an hour to get started, so Jenny & I hit the gift shop & coffee/cafe for a while (good thing we did, as the little wizard/dragon statues were on sale and she managed to pick one up for her fiance!)
We headed back upstairs and I settled down into a bed. They start you in a bed because there is a risk of allergic reaction to the taxol, so they give you your premeds, wait a half hour and then start you on the taxol... very slowly... and monitor your first half hour. Everything went smoothly once I got started though and I fairly quickly passed out into a benadryl-induced slumber.
Everyone thought Jenny was my sister (we don't really look the same, but I guess Jenny looks like me with no hair?!) and I caught the nurse giving her an appreciative lecture about how nice it was for her to come with me (I was asleep, but woke up halfway through their little chat... but pretended to still sleep... a little too awkward to pop my head into that!)... but she was right... I really do appreciate those who have taken time to go with me to chemo or take care of me afterwards!
The taxol seems easier than the AC. No nausea. Apparently I way-over-estimated how bad the nausea/vomiting would be and under-estimated how bad the "bone pain" would be... yes that's right... "bone pain"... This is the side effect most notorious of Taxol. Basically, two days after treatment, it sets in... and you feel like you've been run over by a truck. Lovely. But at least I have my appetite, right? Gotta count your blessings!
MIKE MADE THIS COMMENT,
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
JENNIFER BINKLEY MADE THIS COMMENT,
Tuesday, October 4, 2005
SLACKERS
posted Tuesday, 4 October 2005
So, after Regionals, I was in a bit of a funk... as I said, it really was heartbreaking... we got so close... but not quite close enough... we worked as a team... joined together... and really gave it 110%. It was discouraging that the NJ men's team (who was finished just before our last game) didn't have more of a presence on our sideline (after all the times we've cheered them on) -- but thanks to the few who did stay... it meant a lot & helped more than you know!
So anyways, add to that the fact that my body was feeling run down and sore (check out my next post on taxol) and it didn't look like many folks were reading/commenting on the blog lately, I became a bit of a slacker. I didn't feel like putting on a happy face and sharing it with the world... I just felt like sitting on my couch watching The Apprentice: Martha Stewart.
Now, 3 weeks later, still no new posts... and I am starting to get emails from friends - "where are you?" "why no new posts?" "let us know how you are"
And so, I'm working on catching up... I'll try to be better about staying up to date, as long as I know that people actually want to read what I'm writing... so you all stay in touch too!
Talk to you soon & hope you are all well.
LC
JESSICA MADE THIS COMMENT,
So, after Regionals, I was in a bit of a funk... as I said, it really was heartbreaking... we got so close... but not quite close enough... we worked as a team... joined together... and really gave it 110%. It was discouraging that the NJ men's team (who was finished just before our last game) didn't have more of a presence on our sideline (after all the times we've cheered them on) -- but thanks to the few who did stay... it meant a lot & helped more than you know!
So anyways, add to that the fact that my body was feeling run down and sore (check out my next post on taxol) and it didn't look like many folks were reading/commenting on the blog lately, I became a bit of a slacker. I didn't feel like putting on a happy face and sharing it with the world... I just felt like sitting on my couch watching The Apprentice: Martha Stewart.
Now, 3 weeks later, still no new posts... and I am starting to get emails from friends - "where are you?" "why no new posts?" "let us know how you are"
And so, I'm working on catching up... I'll try to be better about staying up to date, as long as I know that people actually want to read what I'm writing... so you all stay in touch too!
Talk to you soon & hope you are all well.
LC
JESSICA MADE THIS COMMENT,
Monday, October 3, 2005
REGIONALS
posted Monday, 3 October 2005
So, as a club ultimate player, the season basically boils down to one weekend -- Regionals... which hopefully provides you with one more weekend to play --- Nationals... 10 teams - top 2 advance to Nationals. Basically, 3 teams in contention for those two spots (us, Bnogo/DC & Backhoe/NC).
Wicked travelled down to Fredricksburg, VA the first weekend of October. A slightly different team than initially planned, down a few vets, we showed up at the fields ready for action on Saturday. Since our pool had several college teams in it, I decided to suit up on Saturday and play a few points in our first games against: Pounce (Pittsburgh club team), Univ of VA & U Del -- no worries -- I was much better behaved than I was at Sectionals.
Our last game of the day was against Backhoe, the number 1 seed from our region. I decided that it would be wise to sit this one out and retreated to the sidelines, calling subs. We played a good game, going up 8-6 at half, but Backhoe is a much more experienced team than we & they came back and took the game 13-8 (not a bad show for us).
Saturday night at Regionals is typically non-eventful. We had a team dinner together, which was nice and then retreated to our hotel room, where Sara, Erin & I played Sudoku (a super-fun numeric crossword-puzzle-like game in the newspaper) and Tracy crashed... until we were woken by Nancy & Bonny who were spying on another teammate making out with some guy in the parking lot... good times...
Sunday was the big day... we faced off against Bnogo, a team from DC in the semifinals. We jumped to a quick lead, but managed to find ourselves tied 12-12 with one point to go... winner gets a rest and then plays in the finals, while the loser drops into the loser bracket, plays 2 more games, in hopes of making it to the "backdoor finals" (vs the loser of the finals for the #2 spot). We pulled to them, giving them the offensive and they scored. Bummer.
So then we battled Wahine (a bunch of cheaters from NC) and won... then Sweet T (Cagle's team from NC), who we jumped out to a 11-1 lead against and then tried to self-destruct, burning valuable energy before closing out the game. Bnogo took a bye and then played in the finals (losing 15-5 to Backhoe). They rested their starters when it was obvious that the game was a loss, gearing up for the last game against us. It was a well fought game, but we just didn't have the legs left... Bnogo won 15-11. It was heartbreaking. We fought with everything we had, despite the sidelines, which were overwhelmingly cheering for Bnogo (hometown crowd)... and left it all on the field.
Wicked had a few key losses among the veteran ranks (Nancy, Susan & even me... I count as a vet now!) and the youth of the team really did step up and do it up. Jenny & Julie did a great job leading a bunch of women, with relatively little drama... and I know that Wicked will be back next year... hungrier than ever.
SUSIE MADE THIS COMMENT,
So, as a club ultimate player, the season basically boils down to one weekend -- Regionals... which hopefully provides you with one more weekend to play --- Nationals... 10 teams - top 2 advance to Nationals. Basically, 3 teams in contention for those two spots (us, Bnogo/DC & Backhoe/NC).
Wicked travelled down to Fredricksburg, VA the first weekend of October. A slightly different team than initially planned, down a few vets, we showed up at the fields ready for action on Saturday. Since our pool had several college teams in it, I decided to suit up on Saturday and play a few points in our first games against: Pounce (Pittsburgh club team), Univ of VA & U Del -- no worries -- I was much better behaved than I was at Sectionals.
Our last game of the day was against Backhoe, the number 1 seed from our region. I decided that it would be wise to sit this one out and retreated to the sidelines, calling subs. We played a good game, going up 8-6 at half, but Backhoe is a much more experienced team than we & they came back and took the game 13-8 (not a bad show for us).
Saturday night at Regionals is typically non-eventful. We had a team dinner together, which was nice and then retreated to our hotel room, where Sara, Erin & I played Sudoku (a super-fun numeric crossword-puzzle-like game in the newspaper) and Tracy crashed... until we were woken by Nancy & Bonny who were spying on another teammate making out with some guy in the parking lot... good times...
Sunday was the big day... we faced off against Bnogo, a team from DC in the semifinals. We jumped to a quick lead, but managed to find ourselves tied 12-12 with one point to go... winner gets a rest and then plays in the finals, while the loser drops into the loser bracket, plays 2 more games, in hopes of making it to the "backdoor finals" (vs the loser of the finals for the #2 spot). We pulled to them, giving them the offensive and they scored. Bummer.
So then we battled Wahine (a bunch of cheaters from NC) and won... then Sweet T (Cagle's team from NC), who we jumped out to a 11-1 lead against and then tried to self-destruct, burning valuable energy before closing out the game. Bnogo took a bye and then played in the finals (losing 15-5 to Backhoe). They rested their starters when it was obvious that the game was a loss, gearing up for the last game against us. It was a well fought game, but we just didn't have the legs left... Bnogo won 15-11. It was heartbreaking. We fought with everything we had, despite the sidelines, which were overwhelmingly cheering for Bnogo (hometown crowd)... and left it all on the field.
Wicked had a few key losses among the veteran ranks (Nancy, Susan & even me... I count as a vet now!) and the youth of the team really did step up and do it up. Jenny & Julie did a great job leading a bunch of women, with relatively little drama... and I know that Wicked will be back next year... hungrier than ever.
SUSIE MADE THIS COMMENT,
Friday, September 30, 2005
ULTIMATE
posted Friday, 30 September 2005
Those of you who know me well, know that I have a passion for ultimate frisbee. I play pretty much all year round:
• Summer League - coed teams that play locally, in mercer county park, in the summer
• Wicked - my women's club team that travels for tournaments
• Pickup - Buccleuch pickup all winter long - even in the snow (mercer in the spring/fall)
The last time I played ultimate was June 29. I am in serious withdrawal. Summer league is fun and I still went out to the fields...though it was awkward to explain why I wasn't playing, since I didn't look sick or injured... my women's team is more hard core. Practices most weekends, track workouts, mental toughness training...
I finally got the ok from the dr to play 2 weeks ago and decided to give it a shot at Sectionals. At sectionals, we play mostly college teams and the games tend to be quite lopsided, in our favor, so I figured it was a safe environment in which to get back out there. How fantastic did I feel, actually playing a role on the field and not just one the sideline? We shut out 6 teams with a score of 13-0 and won the finals handily 13-3. One thing for certain... boy was I tired! I am so out of shape (to be expected, of course), but just running around felt almost normal! It was wonderful! Now, I had told myself that I would "just take it easy" and "not take any risks" or "push it too much"... But at one point, I had just gotten a beautiful run-through "D" and had cut deep to receive the disc in the endzone. My teammate ran up to the disc and put it up to me... but overthrew me. Normally, I would chase it down and "lay out", diving horizontally through the air to catch the disc that was just out of my reach... my teammate and dear friend Bonny saw that look in my eye and screamed from the sideline "Linda! Don't lay out!!!" I don't know what took over me... my head said "don't tell me what I can or can't do" and I took off after the disc and launched myself into the air. It was at this point that I realized that I was going to land smack on my breasts, one of which was still sporting an incicision that was still draining puss (of course, it was covered in gauze, but not well protected)... in a split moment, I curled up in a ball (still in mid air) and fell straight to the ground with a thud. Don't worry, nobody got hurt, but it was not pretty! The disc feel to the ground right in front of me.
I guess the lesson is to be thankful for what I can do and not try to rush things or try to be a hero and do too much. But, ah! To feel normal again for a day... it was sheer bliss!
This weekend is Regionals. The top 2 teams move on to Nationals. We are definitely one of the top 3. We'll just have to beat another one of the top 3 to move on... wish us luck! Visist www.upa.org to find out more.
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
Those of you who know me well, know that I have a passion for ultimate frisbee. I play pretty much all year round:
• Summer League - coed teams that play locally, in mercer county park, in the summer
• Wicked - my women's club team that travels for tournaments
• Pickup - Buccleuch pickup all winter long - even in the snow (mercer in the spring/fall)
The last time I played ultimate was June 29. I am in serious withdrawal. Summer league is fun and I still went out to the fields...though it was awkward to explain why I wasn't playing, since I didn't look sick or injured... my women's team is more hard core. Practices most weekends, track workouts, mental toughness training...
I finally got the ok from the dr to play 2 weeks ago and decided to give it a shot at Sectionals. At sectionals, we play mostly college teams and the games tend to be quite lopsided, in our favor, so I figured it was a safe environment in which to get back out there. How fantastic did I feel, actually playing a role on the field and not just one the sideline? We shut out 6 teams with a score of 13-0 and won the finals handily 13-3. One thing for certain... boy was I tired! I am so out of shape (to be expected, of course), but just running around felt almost normal! It was wonderful! Now, I had told myself that I would "just take it easy" and "not take any risks" or "push it too much"... But at one point, I had just gotten a beautiful run-through "D" and had cut deep to receive the disc in the endzone. My teammate ran up to the disc and put it up to me... but overthrew me. Normally, I would chase it down and "lay out", diving horizontally through the air to catch the disc that was just out of my reach... my teammate and dear friend Bonny saw that look in my eye and screamed from the sideline "Linda! Don't lay out!!!" I don't know what took over me... my head said "don't tell me what I can or can't do" and I took off after the disc and launched myself into the air. It was at this point that I realized that I was going to land smack on my breasts, one of which was still sporting an incicision that was still draining puss (of course, it was covered in gauze, but not well protected)... in a split moment, I curled up in a ball (still in mid air) and fell straight to the ground with a thud. Don't worry, nobody got hurt, but it was not pretty! The disc feel to the ground right in front of me.
I guess the lesson is to be thankful for what I can do and not try to rush things or try to be a hero and do too much. But, ah! To feel normal again for a day... it was sheer bliss!
This weekend is Regionals. The top 2 teams move on to Nationals. We are definitely one of the top 3. We'll just have to beat another one of the top 3 to move on... wish us luck! Visist www.upa.org to find out more.
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
MEET OTIS
posted Friday, 30 September 2005
Otis is a 2 year old lab mix. He is wonderful. He belongs to my friend Matt, who has 3 dogs total. The other 2 are quite a bit older and as a result, Otis doesn't always get the exercise that he needs... So, since I was thinking about getting a pup of my own, and Otis loves me, we thought maybe I could try it out with little O.
I picked him up last Sunday and brought him back to my house. He was excited at first, but I think he was confused as to where the other dogs were... I don't think the little guy had ever been all alone, so I tried to leave him for a few minutes at a time, while sitting on my front porch... he howled and whined like he was being tortured. Poor little guy. But, of course, I can't go a week without going anywhere, so I gave him 2 days to acclimate. On Tuesday morning, I left for 45 minutes - ran out to Petsmart to pick up a chew toy and leash, and grabbed breakfast on my way back. Boy, was he excited when I returned. Everything in the house looked ok.... until I got to the dining room, where Otis had left me a little (or should I say big) "present" on the floor. Ew. I put him outside and cleaned it up (Resolve works wonders). Yikes, this could be a problem. So, needless to say, my Tuesday night dinner plans turned into takeout... didn't want to traumatize the poor kid!
A book I read said that a) large spaces may enhance the fear and b) you need to acclimate the dog to being alone (like any training). So, I made up a little room for Otis in my spare bathroom upstairs. I made him a nice soft bed, with the sheet that he sleeps on at night, put some water in there for him, gave him a chew toy and turned on the radio (thought about leaving it tuned to country bc Otis loves country, but settled for soft rock). I would leave him in there for 20 minute intervals and then return, praise him and take him outside to the bathroom. He did very well! He would always whine for the first few minutes and then he would settle down (and take a nap?) On Wednesday night, I left him for 1 1/2 hours for dinner and I think he did very well.
On Thursday, it was time for him to go home. When I went to leave, I think he could tell that he wasn't coming with me. I think he was sad. We had a really fun week together. We went for lots of walks and I'd been working on teaching him some tricks (sit, stay, down). I really miss that little guy already. It's a bit different to have to plan your life with another "thing" in it, but for the companionship, I think it may be worth it.
LC
PS - I have a few more pictures on my phone... anybody know how to transfer those to a computer? Preferably for free?
Otis is a 2 year old lab mix. He is wonderful. He belongs to my friend Matt, who has 3 dogs total. The other 2 are quite a bit older and as a result, Otis doesn't always get the exercise that he needs... So, since I was thinking about getting a pup of my own, and Otis loves me, we thought maybe I could try it out with little O.
I picked him up last Sunday and brought him back to my house. He was excited at first, but I think he was confused as to where the other dogs were... I don't think the little guy had ever been all alone, so I tried to leave him for a few minutes at a time, while sitting on my front porch... he howled and whined like he was being tortured. Poor little guy. But, of course, I can't go a week without going anywhere, so I gave him 2 days to acclimate. On Tuesday morning, I left for 45 minutes - ran out to Petsmart to pick up a chew toy and leash, and grabbed breakfast on my way back. Boy, was he excited when I returned. Everything in the house looked ok.... until I got to the dining room, where Otis had left me a little (or should I say big) "present" on the floor. Ew. I put him outside and cleaned it up (Resolve works wonders). Yikes, this could be a problem. So, needless to say, my Tuesday night dinner plans turned into takeout... didn't want to traumatize the poor kid!
A book I read said that a) large spaces may enhance the fear and b) you need to acclimate the dog to being alone (like any training). So, I made up a little room for Otis in my spare bathroom upstairs. I made him a nice soft bed, with the sheet that he sleeps on at night, put some water in there for him, gave him a chew toy and turned on the radio (thought about leaving it tuned to country bc Otis loves country, but settled for soft rock). I would leave him in there for 20 minute intervals and then return, praise him and take him outside to the bathroom. He did very well! He would always whine for the first few minutes and then he would settle down (and take a nap?) On Wednesday night, I left him for 1 1/2 hours for dinner and I think he did very well.
On Thursday, it was time for him to go home. When I went to leave, I think he could tell that he wasn't coming with me. I think he was sad. We had a really fun week together. We went for lots of walks and I'd been working on teaching him some tricks (sit, stay, down). I really miss that little guy already. It's a bit different to have to plan your life with another "thing" in it, but for the companionship, I think it may be worth it.
LC
PS - I have a few more pictures on my phone... anybody know how to transfer those to a computer? Preferably for free?
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
CACHE MISSING: So long ~Adria~
posted Wednesday, 21 September 2005
Yesterday marked the halfway point through chemo... and the last Adriamycin treatment. Not wanting to get my hopes up, but pretty much everyone says that the Adria is the tough part (the Taxol doesn't make you nearly as sick or fatigued).
After a bit of confusion about my appointment (I automatically assumed it was shifting back to Mondays, and had things all set up for Sara G to take me.... until I finally checked my calendar and saw it was Tuesday again). At first this was incredibly frustrating, since I was all set to go back and then it was delayed another day... but it worked out well, because I was able to attend a "Living Beyond Breast Cancer" seminar in Philly.
The topic was Genetic Testing - who should do it? why? what do you do with the information? what are the implications? Nancy went with me, which was great, because I was BY FAR the youngest one there.... there was a woman who was 36, but after that, many of the women were grandmas - literally. A lot of the information I already knew, but it was interesting... and the sandwiches were fantastic (grilled zuchinni, yellow squash, roasted red peppers, mozarella & some sort of pesto - yum!)
Genetic testing is an interesting topic. Basically, 5-10% of breast cancers are hereditary (10-15% are considered "familial clusters", which are not yet defined as hereditary, and the remaining 75% are sporadic). There are 2 genes that have been identified for Breast Cancer: BRCA1 & BRCA2. As you may remember from way back in high school biology, every cell in your body has genes in it - actually 2 copies of each gene (one you inherit from mom & one from dad). For folks with genetic breast cancer, they are born with a mutation in 1 of the copies of the gene. Now, all it takes for a significant susceptibility for cancer forming is one more mutation. For those born with 2 working copies, you need 2 "hits" before the susceptibility. Basically, these two genes control cell growth. There are other genes that do this as well, but without working BRAC1 or BRCA2 genes, you are at increased risk. So then, what do you do if you know that you have this mutation? Well, there is a 50% chance that your children will inherit this from you. What implications does this have on child bearing? Some women choose prophylactic bilateral mastectomy (both breasts), which I may consider if I have this mutation and need the left lastectomy. There is also an increased risk of ovarian cancer, with BRCA2. Ovarian cancer is much harder to screen for and often more difficult to treat. So, some women (if they are done with their families) choose a prophylactic oopherectomy (removal of the ovaries & fallopian tubes)... some even go for a full hysterectomy. Lots to think about... it's nice, because there are "genetic counselors" who you meet with to discuss your risk and decisions with... I will be scheduling my appt for "hopefully" next week... gotta get on the ball with that.
Then chemo on Tuesday (Nancy went with me for that too). Only snag - my dvr broke and deleted "prison break", which I had promised to tape for Nancy while we were out Monday night... oh well... Comcast DVR is certainly no TIVO
Yesterday marked the halfway point through chemo... and the last Adriamycin treatment. Not wanting to get my hopes up, but pretty much everyone says that the Adria is the tough part (the Taxol doesn't make you nearly as sick or fatigued).
After a bit of confusion about my appointment (I automatically assumed it was shifting back to Mondays, and had things all set up for Sara G to take me.... until I finally checked my calendar and saw it was Tuesday again). At first this was incredibly frustrating, since I was all set to go back and then it was delayed another day... but it worked out well, because I was able to attend a "Living Beyond Breast Cancer" seminar in Philly.
The topic was Genetic Testing - who should do it? why? what do you do with the information? what are the implications? Nancy went with me, which was great, because I was BY FAR the youngest one there.... there was a woman who was 36, but after that, many of the women were grandmas - literally. A lot of the information I already knew, but it was interesting... and the sandwiches were fantastic (grilled zuchinni, yellow squash, roasted red peppers, mozarella & some sort of pesto - yum!)
Genetic testing is an interesting topic. Basically, 5-10% of breast cancers are hereditary (10-15% are considered "familial clusters", which are not yet defined as hereditary, and the remaining 75% are sporadic). There are 2 genes that have been identified for Breast Cancer: BRCA1 & BRCA2. As you may remember from way back in high school biology, every cell in your body has genes in it - actually 2 copies of each gene (one you inherit from mom & one from dad). For folks with genetic breast cancer, they are born with a mutation in 1 of the copies of the gene. Now, all it takes for a significant susceptibility for cancer forming is one more mutation. For those born with 2 working copies, you need 2 "hits" before the susceptibility. Basically, these two genes control cell growth. There are other genes that do this as well, but without working BRAC1 or BRCA2 genes, you are at increased risk. So then, what do you do if you know that you have this mutation? Well, there is a 50% chance that your children will inherit this from you. What implications does this have on child bearing? Some women choose prophylactic bilateral mastectomy (both breasts), which I may consider if I have this mutation and need the left lastectomy. There is also an increased risk of ovarian cancer, with BRCA2. Ovarian cancer is much harder to screen for and often more difficult to treat. So, some women (if they are done with their families) choose a prophylactic oopherectomy (removal of the ovaries & fallopian tubes)... some even go for a full hysterectomy. Lots to think about... it's nice, because there are "genetic counselors" who you meet with to discuss your risk and decisions with... I will be scheduling my appt for "hopefully" next week... gotta get on the ball with that.
Then chemo on Tuesday (Nancy went with me for that too). Only snag - my dvr broke and deleted "prison break", which I had promised to tape for Nancy while we were out Monday night... oh well... Comcast DVR is certainly no TIVO
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
AIN'T NOTHIN GONNA BREAK MY STRIDE
posted Tuesday, 20 September 2005
UNCLE CHARLIE MADE THIS COMMENT,
UNCLE CHARLIE MADE THIS COMMENT,
Thursday, September 8, 2005
Labor Day & Chemo AC #3
posted Thursday, 8 September 2005
I got one extra day of normalcy this cycle, due to Labor Day. The weekend was completely crazy, with my cousin Laura's wedding (see Family Photo Album for photos), my dad visiting, painting my bedroom (Blue Heron, by Benjamin Moore...4th column, 6th row), Susie & Jaeger's fairwell party & picking up furniture from Angela in center city Philly. Phew!
Tack that weekend on to a week where I tried to work two days (and found myself incredibly exhausted) and no wonder I've been asleep since Monday!
Despite my best attempts to make up for lost calorie's this cycle (Abby was visiting and we had some fantastic meals, including pulled pork at prospectors, crab cakes & chocolate eruption cake in mt holly and a nice little breakfast with lots of bacon), I've continued to lose a few more pounds, finding myself at the weight I was when I walked the halls of GC High School. Body composition is, of course, a bit different, since I haven't really been doing any track workouts, but I did finally start using my 3 pound weights to get some tone back in my arm (I have to start slow and watch for swelling in my "bad" arm now). I thought I was ready to start running again, but I've been having some trouble with the incision from my re-excision. It's not infected, but the fluid that built up where they removed the tissue has begun to seep out through a tiny pin-hole in the incision. Lovely. Apparently, the chemo is preventing my body from healing as it normally would, leaving me constantly changing the gauze to prevent from looking like I'm lactating!
Anyways, Walt got the honors this week, chauffering me to chemo. I met two nice women there - Karen & Lynda, but they were just there for "quickies"... I had a bit of a reaction to the Adriamycin this time, breaking out in hives as the nurse pushed in the meds... but it subsided once she was done. I didn't get sick this time, but I wonder whether I would have felt better if I had just let myself get sick. Instead, I played the "don't throw-up game" for several hours Monday night, before finally falling asleep. I don't recall being awake for much of yesterday, but I did watch 4 episodes of Gilmore Girls, so I must have been awake for a little bit. Nancy came over to cheer me on with my shot, which I did all by myself again. I think that for $3000, they should put a prize in with the shot so that you get something fun (like a water tattoo or one of those rubber things that you throw against the wall and then they walk down the wall) after you take your shot. I may write to Amgen and let them know.
I finally ate a little bit today though - had 2 scrambled eggs for dinner - and am starting to feel a bit perkier. I am headed to Hershey PA for the weekend for the ZS Princeton 10 Year Anniversary Celebration... not quite Cancun, but I will take it! Even just the change of scenery will be worth it!
Feeling thankful this week for:
Tack that weekend on to a week where I tried to work two days (and found myself incredibly exhausted) and no wonder I've been asleep since Monday!
Despite my best attempts to make up for lost calorie's this cycle (Abby was visiting and we had some fantastic meals, including pulled pork at prospectors, crab cakes & chocolate eruption cake in mt holly and a nice little breakfast with lots of bacon), I've continued to lose a few more pounds, finding myself at the weight I was when I walked the halls of GC High School. Body composition is, of course, a bit different, since I haven't really been doing any track workouts, but I did finally start using my 3 pound weights to get some tone back in my arm (I have to start slow and watch for swelling in my "bad" arm now). I thought I was ready to start running again, but I've been having some trouble with the incision from my re-excision. It's not infected, but the fluid that built up where they removed the tissue has begun to seep out through a tiny pin-hole in the incision. Lovely. Apparently, the chemo is preventing my body from healing as it normally would, leaving me constantly changing the gauze to prevent from looking like I'm lactating!
Anyways, Walt got the honors this week, chauffering me to chemo. I met two nice women there - Karen & Lynda, but they were just there for "quickies"... I had a bit of a reaction to the Adriamycin this time, breaking out in hives as the nurse pushed in the meds... but it subsided once she was done. I didn't get sick this time, but I wonder whether I would have felt better if I had just let myself get sick. Instead, I played the "don't throw-up game" for several hours Monday night, before finally falling asleep. I don't recall being awake for much of yesterday, but I did watch 4 episodes of Gilmore Girls, so I must have been awake for a little bit. Nancy came over to cheer me on with my shot, which I did all by myself again. I think that for $3000, they should put a prize in with the shot so that you get something fun (like a water tattoo or one of those rubber things that you throw against the wall and then they walk down the wall) after you take your shot. I may write to Amgen and let them know.
I finally ate a little bit today though - had 2 scrambled eggs for dinner - and am starting to feel a bit perkier. I am headed to Hershey PA for the weekend for the ZS Princeton 10 Year Anniversary Celebration... not quite Cancun, but I will take it! Even just the change of scenery will be worth it!
Feeling thankful this week for:
- Abby for taking a few days off work to come and visit (blankets & bears)
- Dad for painting my room, vacuuming my house and hanging out with me all weekend
- Matt, for furniture delivery
- Angela, for furniture & pooh bear
- Walt for spending the day at Chemo with me
- Nancy for coming over and watching Gilmore Girls with me
Comments:
1. michael allen left... i don't know if john told you i work at amgen here in RI...in my 2.5 yrs here i've gotten plenty of trinkets from them, such that we have a "shrine". the best ones i see for you are a yo-yo, a slinky, and a magic 8-ball keychain. though i like the wall walkers. i can send you some water tatoos for guinness beer, how's that sound? take care.
Saturday, 10 September 2005 8:15 am
i don't know if john told you i work at amgen here in RI...in my 2.5 yrs here i've gotten plenty of trinkets from them, such that we have a "shrine". the best ones i see for you are a yo-yo, a slinky, and a magic 8-ball keychain. though i like the wall walkers. i can send you some water tatoos for guinness beer, how's that sound? take care. 2. Linda Casill left... John didn't mention it... what are you doing for Amgen? I know a bunch of folks out in CA with Amgen... The magic 8 ball sounds like a perfect prize... my next shot is scheduled for the 20th!
Sunday, 11 September 2005 2:24 pm
John didn't mention it... what are you doing for Amgen? I know a bunch of folks out in CA with Amgen... The magic 8 ball sounds like a perfect prize... my next shot is scheduled for the 20th! 3. nici begert left... Hey Linda its nici begert... Love the wigs!!!
Sunday, 11 September 2005 3:20 pm
Hey Linda its nici begert... Love the wigs!!! 4. michael left... i know a bunch of folks in CA too b/c of a project i've been working on. i work in the QC labs testing raw materials for enbrel (that's what we make in RI). i've asked john for your address after which you will be getting a magic 8 ball. :)
Monday, 12 September 2005 8:19 am
i know a bunch of folks in CA too b/c of a project i've been working on. i work in the QC labs testing raw materials for enbrel (that's what we make in RI). i've asked john for your address after which you will be getting a magic 8 ball. :) Friday, September 2, 2005
Gettin' Wiggy Wit it
posted Friday, 2 September 2005
So I wasn't planning to get a wig at all. I think I am perfectly fine with a hat or a scarf or even going bald (once I work out the tan lines that have built up over 29 years of hair coverage... I do have a tan spot where my part used to run though!)
However, my insurance covers up to $300 for a wig, so I might as well have fun with it, right?
So, Nancy, her brother David and I head out to a place called The WISE center, in East Brunswick. They sell wigs, hats, mastectomy products, etc.... and you have to make an appointment to talk to the wig lady. So I make an appt and we head up there. She is very helpful. The wigs run from $200 - $5000. Synthetic "wash and go" wigs are at the low end and human hair wigs are at the high end. Synthetic wigs hold their style and human hair needs to be washed & styled daily. Now, if you know me, you know that I am not very high-maintenance (at least as far as getting ready is concerned!) on a normal basis... why would I pick a wig that will take time to style. Clearly, the synthetic wig is the option for me (how many times is the cheaper option the one that I prefer!) So I try on a dozen wigs and settle on "Madison" by Louis Ferre, in strawberry blonde. It has a "mono-filament top", which is a nice thin membrane that breathes better than the standard wig. Drawback - she costs $695. Yikes. I am not about to spend $400 out of pocket for a stupid wig that I doubt I will wear.
So we leave and I do some web research... Louis Ferre monofilament wigs seem to cost just under $300 everywhere else... turns out this place is catering not to "general" breast cancer patients, rather they are catering to the upper class breast cancer patients.
The challenge is that many of the wigs I tried on are too big for my head and have way too much hair, so I am afraid to just order on-line... at this point, I pretty much give up on the wig idea.
Then, last weekend, I was down in DC for an ultimate tournament. My shaved head made it's official debut, outside of my closer group of NJ friends, who saw it at the beach this past Thursday (see the "Friends" photo album for pictures from the mean bbq Reavey threw - including a day at the beach followed by a feast of clams, chicken, steak, shrimp scampi, corn, and tomato salad).
Kimberly mentioned to me that Knappy (Sandy's husband, together they make a very active PADA couple) "owns a wig shop". SCORE! I talk to Sandy on Sunday and manage an intro to Knappy. So "owns a wig shop" was a stretch, but Knappy used to work for a wig manufacturer - and has some connections in the business. He refers me to Not Just Wigs, a shop down in Berlin (about 30 minutes from my house). I head down there and talk to Scott, the owner, who totally hooks me up. After several hours of shopping and many many wigs, I leave the store with 3 wigs, 3 styrofoam heads, wig shampoo, spray and "wet-look" spray, all for under $300. And now... without further ado... the WIGS...
(A) STACIE
(B) SANDY (aka Rapture)
(C) AMORE
(D) AU NATURAL
Thanks to Peter Knappenberger, Kimberly & Scott for completing my "wig-drobe"
Comments:
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
WOW!!!! I REALLY like the redhead followed by the brunette...not too sure about the platinum blond. When will bald be the style for women???? It looks so neat and easy. Makes your big brown eyes really stand out. (By the way...I hear you found a cleaning person.) Love ya.
So I wasn't planning to get a wig at all. I think I am perfectly fine with a hat or a scarf or even going bald (once I work out the tan lines that have built up over 29 years of hair coverage... I do have a tan spot where my part used to run though!)
However, my insurance covers up to $300 for a wig, so I might as well have fun with it, right?
So, Nancy, her brother David and I head out to a place called The WISE center, in East Brunswick. They sell wigs, hats, mastectomy products, etc.... and you have to make an appointment to talk to the wig lady. So I make an appt and we head up there. She is very helpful. The wigs run from $200 - $5000. Synthetic "wash and go" wigs are at the low end and human hair wigs are at the high end. Synthetic wigs hold their style and human hair needs to be washed & styled daily. Now, if you know me, you know that I am not very high-maintenance (at least as far as getting ready is concerned!) on a normal basis... why would I pick a wig that will take time to style. Clearly, the synthetic wig is the option for me (how many times is the cheaper option the one that I prefer!) So I try on a dozen wigs and settle on "Madison" by Louis Ferre, in strawberry blonde. It has a "mono-filament top", which is a nice thin membrane that breathes better than the standard wig. Drawback - she costs $695. Yikes. I am not about to spend $400 out of pocket for a stupid wig that I doubt I will wear.
So we leave and I do some web research... Louis Ferre monofilament wigs seem to cost just under $300 everywhere else... turns out this place is catering not to "general" breast cancer patients, rather they are catering to the upper class breast cancer patients.
The challenge is that many of the wigs I tried on are too big for my head and have way too much hair, so I am afraid to just order on-line... at this point, I pretty much give up on the wig idea.
Then, last weekend, I was down in DC for an ultimate tournament. My shaved head made it's official debut, outside of my closer group of NJ friends, who saw it at the beach this past Thursday (see the "Friends" photo album for pictures from the mean bbq Reavey threw - including a day at the beach followed by a feast of clams, chicken, steak, shrimp scampi, corn, and tomato salad).
Kimberly mentioned to me that Knappy (Sandy's husband, together they make a very active PADA couple) "owns a wig shop". SCORE! I talk to Sandy on Sunday and manage an intro to Knappy. So "owns a wig shop" was a stretch, but Knappy used to work for a wig manufacturer - and has some connections in the business. He refers me to Not Just Wigs, a shop down in Berlin (about 30 minutes from my house). I head down there and talk to Scott, the owner, who totally hooks me up. After several hours of shopping and many many wigs, I leave the store with 3 wigs, 3 styrofoam heads, wig shampoo, spray and "wet-look" spray, all for under $300. And now... without further ado... the WIGS...
(A) STACIE
(B) SANDY (aka Rapture)
(C) AMORE
(D) AU NATURAL
Thanks to Peter Knappenberger, Kimberly & Scott for completing my "wig-drobe"
Comments:
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
WOW!!!! I REALLY like the redhead followed by the brunette...not too sure about the platinum blond. When will bald be the style for women???? It looks so neat and easy. Makes your big brown eyes really stand out. (By the way...I hear you found a cleaning person.) Love ya.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
[PHOTO ALBUM] MY NEW "DO"
posted Wednesday, 24 August 2005
Comments:
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
Nice do! I knew you'd have a perfectly shaped head. You look very cute (just don't go getting all tatooed and pierced!) Love you.
comment added :: 24th August 2005, 22:16 GMT-05
SARAH MADE THIS COMMENT,
Wow, how is it that you look HOT with a shaved head? Only you could make chemo look like an adventure. Glad you didn't keep the mullet (though you could always move to Georgia...) Miss you much.
comment added :: 25th August 2005, 03:20 GMT-05
MAURA MADE THIS COMMENT,
I mean, you have to have a pretty face.
Comments:
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
Nice do! I knew you'd have a perfectly shaped head. You look very cute (just don't go getting all tatooed and pierced!) Love you.
comment added :: 24th August 2005, 22:16 GMT-05
SARAH MADE THIS COMMENT,
Wow, how is it that you look HOT with a shaved head? Only you could make chemo look like an adventure. Glad you didn't keep the mullet (though you could always move to Georgia...) Miss you much.
comment added :: 25th August 2005, 03:20 GMT-05
MAURA MADE THIS COMMENT,
I mean, you have to have a pretty face.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Chemo #2
posted Tuesday, 23 August 2005
So Michael picked me up yesterday morning and we headed off to Virtua for treatment #2. We stopped for breakfast at "Cosmo's" - my new favortie breakfast place (well, besides Java Moon Cafe on Quakerbridge Rd- but that's a different kind of breakfast place... Cosmo's = fried egg sandwich... Java Moon Cafe = french toast with peanut butter, banana and pecans)... but anyways, I digress.
Same drill as last time, except this time, the nurse didn't hold my hand... so I had to keep going back to the front desk saying "ok I got my labs done... do I just go back to the chemo room now?" I've lost 4 pounds since last time... which I first found surprising, but then realized that 3-4 days of <1000 calories could do that to a person... plus, I think I am starting to lose some of my muscle mass, which kind of stinks, but what can you do?
I thought about sitting in the big room this time, but chickened out and went and sat in the exact same chair as last time. Something about forming a routine I guess. Hilary (Nancy's buddy from RU) is a pharmacist in the hospital and she stopped by to visit briefly. Michael had run out to Target to get headphones for my new DVD player (thanks again Abby!) This time, the "quiet room" really was quiet. The 3 other people pretty much slept the whole time. Meanwhile, Michael and I talked, giggled and watched Friends. He came back to my house and got me settled. Watched Princess Bride - since MJ had never seen it (!) and hung out for a while.
I got my dr to write me a new Zofran prescription. The first one he wrote was for only 6 pills, which means I need to refill it every 2 weeks (I take it 2x daily for 3 days after chemo) ... so he wrote one for 24 pills and I filled it at CVS. I noticed, however, that the new bottle said take one every 6 hours... which seemed odd. I took a pill at 8pm and unfortunately didn't quite give it time to absorb into my bloodstream. Michael started chatting with me about how friends wanted to bring over food for me- what was good, what was bad... and my stomach started to rumble... hmmm... I guess the stories about chemo are actually true... so anyways, after I showered and cleaned up, I called the pharmacy - they didn't even look it up and just said that the Dr must have written the new script differently - but I went on line and looked at the dosing info and it says every 12 hours... hmmm.. so I called my dr... he told me to a) take only one every 12 hours... b) take another one immediately and c) take a compazine (my backup med, which I had already done). Good thing I know a few things about pharma or I could have been OD'ing on anti-nausea meds!
Matt came over that evening and brought me some groceries (essentials-milk, butter, cottage cheese & melon).
I felt much better today. I ate a little fruit & cottage cheese for breakfast. Nancy came over this afternoon. I gave myself my shot today and didn't even chicken out! Then she made me some mac & cheese and broccoli florets... I had two servings! Granted, each serving was like two spoonfuls, but hey - I'm not complaining. Hopefully the nausea will stay at bay and we'll be done with 25% of the chemo!
Tune in tommorow to check out my new look - Nancy is planning to practice her barber-shop skills (and I'm not talking about the quarter kind of skills) tonight , once Crash gets here (for moral support)... My scalp started to feel funny last night (like when you've been wearing your hair in a ponytail all day and you take it down and your head feels kind of sore) and today it's starting to shed - I don't feel like dealing with the mess everywhere, so somethings got to be done!
I hope you are all well!
Same drill as last time, except this time, the nurse didn't hold my hand... so I had to keep going back to the front desk saying "ok I got my labs done... do I just go back to the chemo room now?" I've lost 4 pounds since last time... which I first found surprising, but then realized that 3-4 days of <1000 calories could do that to a person... plus, I think I am starting to lose some of my muscle mass, which kind of stinks, but what can you do?
I thought about sitting in the big room this time, but chickened out and went and sat in the exact same chair as last time. Something about forming a routine I guess. Hilary (Nancy's buddy from RU) is a pharmacist in the hospital and she stopped by to visit briefly. Michael had run out to Target to get headphones for my new DVD player (thanks again Abby!) This time, the "quiet room" really was quiet. The 3 other people pretty much slept the whole time. Meanwhile, Michael and I talked, giggled and watched Friends. He came back to my house and got me settled. Watched Princess Bride - since MJ had never seen it (!) and hung out for a while.
I got my dr to write me a new Zofran prescription. The first one he wrote was for only 6 pills, which means I need to refill it every 2 weeks (I take it 2x daily for 3 days after chemo) ... so he wrote one for 24 pills and I filled it at CVS. I noticed, however, that the new bottle said take one every 6 hours... which seemed odd. I took a pill at 8pm and unfortunately didn't quite give it time to absorb into my bloodstream. Michael started chatting with me about how friends wanted to bring over food for me- what was good, what was bad... and my stomach started to rumble... hmmm... I guess the stories about chemo are actually true... so anyways, after I showered and cleaned up, I called the pharmacy - they didn't even look it up and just said that the Dr must have written the new script differently - but I went on line and looked at the dosing info and it says every 12 hours... hmmm.. so I called my dr... he told me to a) take only one every 12 hours... b) take another one immediately and c) take a compazine (my backup med, which I had already done). Good thing I know a few things about pharma or I could have been OD'ing on anti-nausea meds!
Matt came over that evening and brought me some groceries (essentials-milk, butter, cottage cheese & melon).
I felt much better today. I ate a little fruit & cottage cheese for breakfast. Nancy came over this afternoon. I gave myself my shot today and didn't even chicken out! Then she made me some mac & cheese and broccoli florets... I had two servings! Granted, each serving was like two spoonfuls, but hey - I'm not complaining. Hopefully the nausea will stay at bay and we'll be done with 25% of the chemo!
Tune in tommorow to check out my new look - Nancy is planning to practice her barber-shop skills (and I'm not talking about the quarter kind of skills) tonight , once Crash gets here (for moral support)... My scalp started to feel funny last night (like when you've been wearing your hair in a ponytail all day and you take it down and your head feels kind of sore) and today it's starting to shed - I don't feel like dealing with the mess everywhere, so somethings got to be done!
I hope you are all well!
1. Katie left...
Wednesday, 24 August 2005 8:59 pm
Hey baby, Thanks for the updates. It is so good to be able to read this and be many miles away. It sounds like you have many pals taking care of you, I am glad. I know exactly what you are talking about with that whole ponytail left in to long thing, eck. congrats on 25%.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
[EVENT] CHEMO: ADRIAMYCIN + CYTOXAN TREATMENT #2
posted Thursday, 18 August 2005
Date: Monday, 22 August 2005 , 08:45 AM — 01:00 PM
Duration: 4 hrs 15 mins
event Chemo: Adriamycin + Cytoxan Treatment #2
Comments:
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
Think positive thoughts!
comment added :: 19th August 2005, 12:12 GMT-05
SARAH MADE THIS COMMENT,
Miss you and thinking of you... Wish I could be there to help out. Or come and whisk you off to St Simons with me. Mom, Dad, Graham, Mama, Dada, Nancy (your you-know what), Lee, Marshall, Tyler, Kaitlyn, and everyone else (ie, all your boyfriends) on St Simons are thinking of you and sending good thoughts! love,sarah
Date: Monday, 22 August 2005 , 08:45 AM — 01:00 PM
Duration: 4 hrs 15 mins
event Chemo: Adriamycin + Cytoxan Treatment #2
Comments:
MOM MADE THIS COMMENT,
Think positive thoughts!
comment added :: 19th August 2005, 12:12 GMT-05
SARAH MADE THIS COMMENT,
Miss you and thinking of you... Wish I could be there to help out. Or come and whisk you off to St Simons with me. Mom, Dad, Graham, Mama, Dada, Nancy (your you-know what), Lee, Marshall, Tyler, Kaitlyn, and everyone else (ie, all your boyfriends) on St Simons are thinking of you and sending good thoughts! love,sarah
MAILING LIST
posted Thursday, 18 August 2005
When I get really good at updating my blog and then life gets boring again, I tend to get frustrated calls from friends "when are you going to update your blog????" Well, some days there just isn't much interesting to talk about... I could tell the truth (I spent today watching tv and surfing the web...) or I could just not publish anything that day...
Don't fret though! I have the perfect solution for you. Sign up for the mailing list and you will get an email every time I update my blog. Just enter your email address at the right and that's it. I promise that I won't sell your email address to spammers or tele-sales-people. One request though - when you sign up, please uncheck the box that says "keep my address private". I'd like to know who is on my mailing list, just so that I know who I am emailing...
Thanks!
LC
Comments:
AUNT MARYE MADE THIS COMMENT,
Hiya Linda; FYI, I've been on yr mailing list for a couple of weeks now -- I didn't realise that they would "keep my email private" from YOU. I love getting the updates and I love being informed automatically.
And I'm glad you had a good time in PA with the younger set. It's good to hear that you seem to be responding to chemo without the worst of the side effects. Stay strong -- and as soon as I can, I want to come see you.
Love, Aunt Marye
When I get really good at updating my blog and then life gets boring again, I tend to get frustrated calls from friends "when are you going to update your blog????" Well, some days there just isn't much interesting to talk about... I could tell the truth (I spent today watching tv and surfing the web...) or I could just not publish anything that day...
Don't fret though! I have the perfect solution for you. Sign up for the mailing list and you will get an email every time I update my blog. Just enter your email address at the right and that's it. I promise that I won't sell your email address to spammers or tele-sales-people. One request though - when you sign up, please uncheck the box that says "keep my address private". I'd like to know who is on my mailing list, just so that I know who I am emailing...
Thanks!
LC
Comments:
AUNT MARYE MADE THIS COMMENT,
Hiya Linda; FYI, I've been on yr mailing list for a couple of weeks now -- I didn't realise that they would "keep my email private" from YOU. I love getting the updates and I love being informed automatically.
And I'm glad you had a good time in PA with the younger set. It's good to hear that you seem to be responding to chemo without the worst of the side effects. Stay strong -- and as soon as I can, I want to come see you.
Love, Aunt Marye
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