posted Thursday, 31 August 2006
I know this subject makes some people uncomfortable... but frankly, I'm over that.... I GOT MY PERIOD THIS MORNING!
I have really been struggling to accept the fact that I may never be able to have biological children. The chemo is poison and it doesn't discriminate between good cells and bad cells and it really does a number on your insides. My last period was August 2005. While it was nice to not have to deal with cramps and tampons, the fact that I may not be able to experience childbirth was slowly breaking my heart. Deep down, I know I can still be a mom... but I want to experience the miracle that so many women get to experience.
It's been especially difficult as me and my friends enter our 30s... those clocks are ticking louder and louder. Babies are a common topic of conversation... who is having one... who is trying... some of my dearest friends are currently pregnant. I am so thrilled for them. At the same time, it has been difficult to separate this excitement from my own personal disappointment. I have not always been successful at that and I fear that I have not always been the most supportive friend. Please know that this is not because I don't love you or that I am not truly excited for you. I do and I am. I'm sorry that I couldn't deal with it better.
Just last night, I was talking with Mike about how I was sad and angry that I didn't think I'd ever be able to have kids. He told me that I needed to keep believing. How could he say that? How did he have so much faith when I had all but given up hope? How strange it was when I woke the next morning to find out that he was right...
I know that the damage to my ovaries could still cause problems down the line... but at least now I've got reason for renewed hope. Of course, now I have to deal with bloating, cramps & mood swings... but I guess that's a small price to pay.
BONNY MADE THIS COMMENT,
i love you menstruation!!!!!!!!!!!!!! congratulations that is amazing news!!!!!!!!!!!
ANNETTE MADE THIS COMMENT,
Congratulations!!!!! The faithful see the invisible, believe the incredible and then receive the impossible.
NANCY MADE THIS COMMENT,
We need to celebrate. Let's start now and go straight through to New Years!!!!!
KATIE MADE THIS COMMENT,
Wonderful, we will have a "Red Party" for you to celebrate your coming of age. miss you dearly
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
ANOTHER CHECKUP -- PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS
posted Tuesday, 15 August 2006
As you know, I go back to the oncologist every 4 months for the first few years. For some reason (ok not such a strange reason), these visits strike fear within my deepest soul. I spend days dreading the visit and then several more days, waiting for test results.
Again, I have passed. My blood tests were normal and there was nothing detectable. Next visit is December 12 (the one year anniversary of my tamoxifen therapy)... until then...
As you know, I go back to the oncologist every 4 months for the first few years. For some reason (ok not such a strange reason), these visits strike fear within my deepest soul. I spend days dreading the visit and then several more days, waiting for test results.
Again, I have passed. My blood tests were normal and there was nothing detectable. Next visit is December 12 (the one year anniversary of my tamoxifen therapy)... until then...
Saturday, July 29, 2006
SUMMER FUN - TRUDGE GETS HITCHED
There hasn't really been much news this summer. I've been keeping busy busy... between work, ultimate and a bajillion weddings... I barely found time to turn 30 years old in there!
The quick recap on the trudge weddings:
Laura & Greg's wedding was July 1 in Saratoga. I got to visit Jess (and if she ever sends me the picture of me & Jack, I can show you her lovely little boy!) & Steve and went for a fantastic hike just west of Albany...
Irene and Scott got married July 29, in Hartford, CT (it's about time!). Another gorgeous wedding and a fun weekend!
posted Saturday, 29 July 2006
The quick recap on the trudge weddings:
Laura & Greg's wedding was July 1 in Saratoga. I got to visit Jess (and if she ever sends me the picture of me & Jack, I can show you her lovely little boy!) & Steve and went for a fantastic hike just west of Albany...
Irene and Scott got married July 29, in Hartford, CT (it's about time!). Another gorgeous wedding and a fun weekend!
posted Saturday, 29 July 2006
Saturday, July 22, 2006
30 IS THE NEW 20... FOR REAL
posted Saturday, 22 July 2006
I took it like a champ... I say 'bring it on'... 30's have got to be better than the 20's, right?
I celebrated my big 3 oh in the Poconos, with family and friends. My Aunt Deb & Uncle Bill hosted us during the day, while folks kept me up WAY past my bedtime fixing flat tires, playing True Colors and doing some late-night baking at the house we rented around the corner.
Thanks to everyone for making it such a memorable weekend -- I can't think of a better way to have spent my 30th.
I took it like a champ... I say 'bring it on'... 30's have got to be better than the 20's, right?
I celebrated my big 3 oh in the Poconos, with family and friends. My Aunt Deb & Uncle Bill hosted us during the day, while folks kept me up WAY past my bedtime fixing flat tires, playing True Colors and doing some late-night baking at the house we rented around the corner.
Thanks to everyone for making it such a memorable weekend -- I can't think of a better way to have spent my 30th.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
HEY NOW... YOU'RE AN *ALL STAR*
posted Saturday, 15 July 2006
Saturday was MCUDL all star day, followed by Jaegro's bachelor party continued... (the boys had done it up in NYC on friday night and invited the gals to join them at the beach saturday night). While we didn't get to chill with Bruce, we did get to eat at the Chat & Nibble (finally) and check out the finer points of Asbury...
Sunday, we headed over to Spring Lake for some beaching... and then over to Pete & Elda's for the best thin crust pizza in the world. Vlad hooked me up with a Snicker's Ice Cream cake and I got to ring in my birthday eve with "the crew", wrapping up a fantastic weekend.
Saturday was MCUDL all star day, followed by Jaegro's bachelor party continued... (the boys had done it up in NYC on friday night and invited the gals to join them at the beach saturday night). While we didn't get to chill with Bruce, we did get to eat at the Chat & Nibble (finally) and check out the finer points of Asbury...
Sunday, we headed over to Spring Lake for some beaching... and then over to Pete & Elda's for the best thin crust pizza in the world. Vlad hooked me up with a Snicker's Ice Cream cake and I got to ring in my birthday eve with "the crew", wrapping up a fantastic weekend.
Tuesday, July 4, 2006
FLOODS AND FIREWORKS
posted Tuesday, 4 July 2006
July 1 was Greg & Laura's wedding in Saratoga Springs. I took a few days off from work and decided to drive to Ithaca and then ride up to Albany with Mike. I was planning to work from Ithaca, but struggled with connectivity. My cell phone reception was spotty and I had trouble getting on line at the local coffee shop. Having Otis with me and not wanting to leave him home alone (bc I know he howls the whole time he is home alone), I was limited in where I could go (and the coffee shop had "free internet" and outdoor seating... too bad I couldn't get it to work). Anyways, we drove up to Albany on Friday, which was easier said than done... it had rained for nearly a week straight and there was massive flooding in NE PA and upstate NY - particularly around Binghamton and just north in Sidney, NY. In fact, the flooding washed away a huge section of Rt 88, killing two truckers... it was all very crazy.
Anyways, we stopped by to visit my dear friend Jessica, who just moved back to the Albany area after a brief stint in NC. I finally got to meet her baby boy Jack, who is no longer a baby, but a very active 18 month old... what fun!
Saturday was the wedding. We were joined by friends from RPI - Tate & Susie, Pete & Meg, Jim & Sherry, Bowers & Jamie, Reed & Megan, Benny G & Beth and Alicia. Quite a group... thanks to Pete and Meg for hosting us all... the wedding was lovely and Laura looked beautiful. Greg and his mom danced to Outkast - very cute. The party was fun and I am quite sure that a good time was had by all.
On Sunday, we went for a hike about 30 minutes West of Troy (where 90 & 88 meet). It was an awesome place, with several waterfalls and steep trails that take you right along the river bed. Otis loved swimming (can you see him in the water by the little waterfall?)
We headed back to Ithaca and spent the next few days there. July 4 we went to watch the fireworks at Ithaca college, from the slope at Cornell. Otis came with us and was a big hit... apparently, he is much more fun than fireworks (according to the young girl pounding mgd next to us at the fireworks). Wee... I love fireworks! :)
July 1 was Greg & Laura's wedding in Saratoga Springs. I took a few days off from work and decided to drive to Ithaca and then ride up to Albany with Mike. I was planning to work from Ithaca, but struggled with connectivity. My cell phone reception was spotty and I had trouble getting on line at the local coffee shop. Having Otis with me and not wanting to leave him home alone (bc I know he howls the whole time he is home alone), I was limited in where I could go (and the coffee shop had "free internet" and outdoor seating... too bad I couldn't get it to work). Anyways, we drove up to Albany on Friday, which was easier said than done... it had rained for nearly a week straight and there was massive flooding in NE PA and upstate NY - particularly around Binghamton and just north in Sidney, NY. In fact, the flooding washed away a huge section of Rt 88, killing two truckers... it was all very crazy.
Anyways, we stopped by to visit my dear friend Jessica, who just moved back to the Albany area after a brief stint in NC. I finally got to meet her baby boy Jack, who is no longer a baby, but a very active 18 month old... what fun!
Saturday was the wedding. We were joined by friends from RPI - Tate & Susie, Pete & Meg, Jim & Sherry, Bowers & Jamie, Reed & Megan, Benny G & Beth and Alicia. Quite a group... thanks to Pete and Meg for hosting us all... the wedding was lovely and Laura looked beautiful. Greg and his mom danced to Outkast - very cute. The party was fun and I am quite sure that a good time was had by all.
On Sunday, we went for a hike about 30 minutes West of Troy (where 90 & 88 meet). It was an awesome place, with several waterfalls and steep trails that take you right along the river bed. Otis loved swimming (can you see him in the water by the little waterfall?)
We headed back to Ithaca and spent the next few days there. July 4 we went to watch the fireworks at Ithaca college, from the slope at Cornell. Otis came with us and was a big hit... apparently, he is much more fun than fireworks (according to the young girl pounding mgd next to us at the fireworks). Wee... I love fireworks! :)
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
TERRY LYNNE GIFFORD
posted Wednesday, 28 June 2006
Terry Gifford is my friend Sara's mom. In 2000, she was told that she had breast cancer... and her prognosis was not good. Terry didn't believe what the drs told her. In fact, she refused to believe it. She fought with all she had and prooved them all wrong, entering remission. Unfortunately, the cancer was too aggressive and it continued to attack. I met Terry in June 2005, the same week that I had received my diagnosis. Some friends thought I was crazy (that it would be too hard to see someone so entrenched in the battle), but I wanted to meet this amazing woman. While I spent only a few hours with Terry, she made a lasting impression on me. Her positive attitude, open nature and obvious love for her family and for life are things I will always carry with me. The Giffords are a beautiful family and Terry was a beautiful mother and friend. She was one of the bravest women I've ever met. Terry died on June 24. We celebrated Terry Gifford's life on July 8/9, at her home and church in Hartford, CT.
I'm sorry Sara - I'm sorry that your family had to go through so much hurt. I'm sorry that we couldn't make her better. I'm sorry that I didn't know her better. Most of all, I'm sorry you had to say goodbye.
GIFFORD, Terry Lynne Terry Lynne (Stansfield) Gifford died peacefully on Saturday, (June 24, 2006) at her home in Marlborough. She was born on September 13, 1951 in Dayton, OH to Donald H. and Louise (Sinclair) Stansfield and moved to Hamilton Square, NJ when she was 5. She was an avid skater and progressed to the Pre-Gold Test level in ice dancing. She graduated second in her class from Steinert High School in Hamilton Square in 1969. She attended St. Lawrence University in Canton, NY. There she was instrumental in forming The Larryettes, an ice skating club that performed during the intermissions of the hockey games. She graduated in 1972 as valedictorian, summa cum laude in mathematics and a member of the Phi Beta Kappa national academic honorary. After earning a Masters degree in mathematics at the University of Denver in 1974 she went to work in the Information Systems department at Pratt & Whitney in East Hartford where she continued in positions of increasing responsibility until April 2005. In 1977 she married Michael T. Gifford and settled in Marlborough. Terry was an active member and past president of the Skating Club of Hartford and worked on the Hartford World Figure Skating Championships in 1981. The couple have three beloved daughters of whom they are very proud, Sara, age 26, Elizabeth (Libby), age 24, and Jennifer, age 22. Sara is currently working as a programmer in Morristown, NJ, Libby is a speech therapist in Framingham, MA and Jennifer a graduate student in geology at the University of Florida in Gainesville, FL. Terry was one of the founding mothers of the Marlborough Educational Child Care Association (MECCA) latchkey center at Elmer Thienes Elementary School. A long time member of the Marlborough Congregational Church, she was financial secretary for several years and a member of the bell choir. After her diagnosis with breast cancer in 2000, she fulfilled a dream by becoming a professional needlepoint designer. Terry's Kick Back & Stitch geometric designs are very successful and widely known. A memorial service will be held at the Marlborough Congregational Church on Sunday, July 9 at 2 p.m. Spencer Funeral Home, 112 Main St., East Hampton has care of arrangements.
Terry Gifford is my friend Sara's mom. In 2000, she was told that she had breast cancer... and her prognosis was not good. Terry didn't believe what the drs told her. In fact, she refused to believe it. She fought with all she had and prooved them all wrong, entering remission. Unfortunately, the cancer was too aggressive and it continued to attack. I met Terry in June 2005, the same week that I had received my diagnosis. Some friends thought I was crazy (that it would be too hard to see someone so entrenched in the battle), but I wanted to meet this amazing woman. While I spent only a few hours with Terry, she made a lasting impression on me. Her positive attitude, open nature and obvious love for her family and for life are things I will always carry with me. The Giffords are a beautiful family and Terry was a beautiful mother and friend. She was one of the bravest women I've ever met. Terry died on June 24. We celebrated Terry Gifford's life on July 8/9, at her home and church in Hartford, CT.
I'm sorry Sara - I'm sorry that your family had to go through so much hurt. I'm sorry that we couldn't make her better. I'm sorry that I didn't know her better. Most of all, I'm sorry you had to say goodbye.
GIFFORD, Terry Lynne Terry Lynne (Stansfield) Gifford died peacefully on Saturday, (June 24, 2006) at her home in Marlborough. She was born on September 13, 1951 in Dayton, OH to Donald H. and Louise (Sinclair) Stansfield and moved to Hamilton Square, NJ when she was 5. She was an avid skater and progressed to the Pre-Gold Test level in ice dancing. She graduated second in her class from Steinert High School in Hamilton Square in 1969. She attended St. Lawrence University in Canton, NY. There she was instrumental in forming The Larryettes, an ice skating club that performed during the intermissions of the hockey games. She graduated in 1972 as valedictorian, summa cum laude in mathematics and a member of the Phi Beta Kappa national academic honorary. After earning a Masters degree in mathematics at the University of Denver in 1974 she went to work in the Information Systems department at Pratt & Whitney in East Hartford where she continued in positions of increasing responsibility until April 2005. In 1977 she married Michael T. Gifford and settled in Marlborough. Terry was an active member and past president of the Skating Club of Hartford and worked on the Hartford World Figure Skating Championships in 1981. The couple have three beloved daughters of whom they are very proud, Sara, age 26, Elizabeth (Libby), age 24, and Jennifer, age 22. Sara is currently working as a programmer in Morristown, NJ, Libby is a speech therapist in Framingham, MA and Jennifer a graduate student in geology at the University of Florida in Gainesville, FL. Terry was one of the founding mothers of the Marlborough Educational Child Care Association (MECCA) latchkey center at Elmer Thienes Elementary School. A long time member of the Marlborough Congregational Church, she was financial secretary for several years and a member of the bell choir. After her diagnosis with breast cancer in 2000, she fulfilled a dream by becoming a professional needlepoint designer. Terry's Kick Back & Stitch geometric designs are very successful and widely known. A memorial service will be held at the Marlborough Congregational Church on Sunday, July 9 at 2 p.m. Spencer Funeral Home, 112 Main St., East Hampton has care of arrangements.
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