posted Saturday, 31 December 2005
With my surgery so early in January, I decided it was just too much to try to make the trek up to Boston, to spend New Year's Eve at the Courtside, celebrating the 30th birthday of my good friend Rich. Somewhat bummed about that decision, I looked for a fun way to spend the night close to home. Last year, Nancy and I decided last minute to have people over and it was a really enjoyable time. So, we decided to host the 2nd annual, totally-last-minute New Year's Eve party at my house. It turned out better than I could have imagined, with a really great mix of people (I suppose the only thing that *could* have turned out better was if I hadn't left the lasagna in the oven for 3 hours... right...)
Not only did the group there have a fantastic time, but we got word from Susie and Jaeger that they had gotten engaged that evening - what a celebration we had for them! I love it when such goodness happens to such great people!
Happy New Year! Happy Birthday Richie & Vlad!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
posted Sunday, 25 December 2005
As often happens, I have neglected my blog for a week or so, prefering to focus on living life, rather than regaling it! A few of you have noticed that you sometimes will check my blog and not see any new posts and then suddenly, 3 or 4 posts will appear.... that just means that I finally got around to sitting and writing again... and I did a few posts in one sitting!
I truly hope that you were all able to have a wonderful holiday. I let the stress build a little bit when I got word that my surgery would be scheduled for January 4th (I had been planning for mid/late January!) I am definitely not complaining though! I went up to New Brunswick to get a second opinion from the Chief of Plastic Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson. Immediately, I felt much more comfortable with Dr Borah (especially compared to the first plastic surgeon that I had met with). He made me feel smart and really set me at ease, so that I was able to ask him even those questions that are a bit embarassing or uncomfortable. He made eye contact when we talked, as opposed to burying his head in my file, with his back turned... the only complication was that he works in a different hospital than Dr Dultz... but at this point, I "ain't too proud to beg"... and so I did... and it worked out (quicker than I imagined!). Anyways, with a lot to do in the two weeks before my surgery I must admit, I was a little bit stressed out the week before Christmas (with my family visiting and trying to travel to see friends and extended family...) Of course, much of that stress was unnecessarily self-inflicted... were my parents really going to be inspecting my house for dirt while they were here?
Once the holiday arrived, I was able to sit back and relax a little. Mom and Dad came out on Saturday evening and I prepared a Christmas Eve dinner for them, Charlene & Jeremy & Nancy. After an early dinner, we sat around, playing games for a few hours, enjoying each other's company. It really was a nice evening.
Christmas morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island, to visit my dad's sister. The Casill Family Christmas is always a fairly involved event, with nearly 25 people there (only a few of the clan were missing... I was sad that I didn't get a chance to see Donna & her girls, Brian & Tommy). Of course, Aunt Doris and Grandpa were also in my thoughts. I especially love to see all the little ones as they raced around the house - Diana, Brian, Jessica & Courtney... with Alyssa & Hannah, who are on the brink of being too old for all the play and with whom it was nice to sit and chat with for a while. It's also nice to see my cousins Laura & Gene, David, Michael, Paula, Vinnie & Kerry and my brother John & his girlfriend Bonnie -- and to get to know them better as adults. Then there's my crazy Aunts & Uncles, whose love and support and laughter always makes my day. Last, but not least, is Grandma. What a tough lady she is. I am so thankful for Marilyn, her care-taker, whose compassion and love are evident to all. Christmas at the Casill's is not complete without a visit from good old Saint Nick! He takes time out, at the end of a very busy night, to come and hand out the Secret Santa presents and pose for pictures. What a guy! Thanks to my secret santa. I actually wound up exchanging the wine glasses for martini glasses at Pier One, since I have a full set of wine glasses... but I loved the pattern and I pretty much love anything from Pier One!
Of course, my Christmas visits with friends didn't end there... on Monday, my roommate from college, Sarah & her husband Chris stopped by for a visit on their way back to DC from his folk's place in north Jersey. It's always great to catch up with them.
I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. I was disappointed with myself for not getting cards out this year. I really enjoyed all the cards that I received, especially the ones with pictures of the little ones! I hope you all know that you were in my thoughts despite the fact that I was unable to get out personal greetings. I wish you all the best for a happy and *healthy* 2006.
LC
As often happens, I have neglected my blog for a week or so, prefering to focus on living life, rather than regaling it! A few of you have noticed that you sometimes will check my blog and not see any new posts and then suddenly, 3 or 4 posts will appear.... that just means that I finally got around to sitting and writing again... and I did a few posts in one sitting!
I truly hope that you were all able to have a wonderful holiday. I let the stress build a little bit when I got word that my surgery would be scheduled for January 4th (I had been planning for mid/late January!) I am definitely not complaining though! I went up to New Brunswick to get a second opinion from the Chief of Plastic Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson. Immediately, I felt much more comfortable with Dr Borah (especially compared to the first plastic surgeon that I had met with). He made me feel smart and really set me at ease, so that I was able to ask him even those questions that are a bit embarassing or uncomfortable. He made eye contact when we talked, as opposed to burying his head in my file, with his back turned... the only complication was that he works in a different hospital than Dr Dultz... but at this point, I "ain't too proud to beg"... and so I did... and it worked out (quicker than I imagined!). Anyways, with a lot to do in the two weeks before my surgery I must admit, I was a little bit stressed out the week before Christmas (with my family visiting and trying to travel to see friends and extended family...) Of course, much of that stress was unnecessarily self-inflicted... were my parents really going to be inspecting my house for dirt while they were here?
Once the holiday arrived, I was able to sit back and relax a little. Mom and Dad came out on Saturday evening and I prepared a Christmas Eve dinner for them, Charlene & Jeremy & Nancy. After an early dinner, we sat around, playing games for a few hours, enjoying each other's company. It really was a nice evening.
Christmas morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island, to visit my dad's sister. The Casill Family Christmas is always a fairly involved event, with nearly 25 people there (only a few of the clan were missing... I was sad that I didn't get a chance to see Donna & her girls, Brian & Tommy). Of course, Aunt Doris and Grandpa were also in my thoughts. I especially love to see all the little ones as they raced around the house - Diana, Brian, Jessica & Courtney... with Alyssa & Hannah, who are on the brink of being too old for all the play and with whom it was nice to sit and chat with for a while. It's also nice to see my cousins Laura & Gene, David, Michael, Paula, Vinnie & Kerry and my brother John & his girlfriend Bonnie -- and to get to know them better as adults. Then there's my crazy Aunts & Uncles, whose love and support and laughter always makes my day. Last, but not least, is Grandma. What a tough lady she is. I am so thankful for Marilyn, her care-taker, whose compassion and love are evident to all. Christmas at the Casill's is not complete without a visit from good old Saint Nick! He takes time out, at the end of a very busy night, to come and hand out the Secret Santa presents and pose for pictures. What a guy! Thanks to my secret santa. I actually wound up exchanging the wine glasses for martini glasses at Pier One, since I have a full set of wine glasses... but I loved the pattern and I pretty much love anything from Pier One!
Of course, my Christmas visits with friends didn't end there... on Monday, my roommate from college, Sarah & her husband Chris stopped by for a visit on their way back to DC from his folk's place in north Jersey. It's always great to catch up with them.
I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. I was disappointed with myself for not getting cards out this year. I really enjoyed all the cards that I received, especially the ones with pictures of the little ones! I hope you all know that you were in my thoughts despite the fact that I was unable to get out personal greetings. I wish you all the best for a happy and *healthy* 2006.
LC
Merry Christmas!
posted Sunday, 25 December 2005
As often happens, I have neglected my blog for a week or so, prefering to focus on living life, rather than regaling it! A few of you have noticed that you sometimes will check my blog and not see any new posts and then suddenly, 3 or 4 posts will appear.... that just means that I finally got around to sitting and writing again... and I did a few posts in one sitting! I truly hope that you were all able to have a wonderful holiday. I let the stress build a little bit when I got word that my surgery would be scheduled for January 4th (I had been planning for mid/late January!) I am definitely not complaining though! I went up to New Brunswick to get a second opinion from the Chief of Plastic Surgery at Robert Wood Johnson. Immediately, I felt much more comfortable with Dr Borah (especially compared to the first plastic surgeon that I had met with). He made me feel smart and really set me at ease, so that I was able to ask him even those questions that are a bit embarassing or uncomfortable. He made eye contact when we talked, as opposed to burying his head in my file, with his back turned... the only complication was that he works in a different hospital than Dr Dultz... but at this point, I "ain't too proud to beg"... and so I did... and it worked out (quicker than I imagined!). Anyways, with a lot to do in the two weeks before my surgery I must admit, I was a little bit stressed out the week before Christmas (with my family visiting and trying to travel to see friends and extended family...) Of course, much of that stress was unnecessarily self-inflicted... were my parents really going to be inspecting my house for dirt while they were here?
Once the holiday arrived, I was able to sit back and relax a little. Mom and Dad came out on Saturday evening and I prepared a Christmas Eve dinner for them, Charlene & Jeremy & Nancy. After an early dinner, we sat around, playing games for a few hours, enjoying each other's company. It really was a nice evening.
Christmas morning, we got up and drove out to Long Island, to visit my dad's sister. The Casill Family Christmas is always a fairly involved event, with nearly 25 people there (only a few of the clan were missing... I was sad that I didn't get a chance to see Donna & her girls, Brian & Tommy). Of course, Aunt Doris and Grandpa were also in my thoughts. I especially love to see all the little ones as they raced around the house - Diana, Brian, Jessica & Courtney... with Alyssa & Hannah, who are on the brink of being too old for all the play and with whom it was nice to sit and chat with for a while. It's also nice to see my cousins Laura & Gene, David, Michael, Paula, Vinnie & Kerry and my brother John & his girlfriend Bonnie -- and to get to know them better as adults. Then there's my crazy Aunts & Uncles, whose love and support and laughter always makes my day. Last, but not least, is Grandma. What a tough lady she is. I am so thankful for Marilyn, her care-taker, whose compassion and love are evident to all. Christmas at the Casill's is not complete without a visit from good old Saint Nick! He takes time out, at the end of a very busy night, to come and hand out the Secret Santa presents and pose for pictures. What a guy! Thanks to my secret santa. I actually wound up exchanging the wine glasses for martini glasses at Pier One, since I have a full set of wine glasses... but I loved the pattern and I pretty much love anything from Pier One!
Of course, my Christmas visits with friends didn't end there... on Monday, my roommate from college, Sarah & her husband Chris stopped by for a visit on their way back to DC from his folk's place in north Jersey. It's always great to catch up with them.
I hope that you all had a very Merry Christmas. I was disappointed with myself for not getting cards out this year. I really enjoyed all the cards that I received, especially the ones with pictures of the little ones! I hope you all know that you were in my thoughts despite the fact that I was unable to get out personal greetings. I wish you all the best for a happy and *healthy* 2006.
LC
Comments:
2. alyssa left...
it was so great to see you!!!
you are always in my heart, mind, and prayers. ~alyssa~
3. kaori left... Tuesday, 3 January 2006 5:53 pm
it was so great to see you!!! you are always in my heart, mind, and prayers. ~alyssa~
Tuesday, 3 January 2006 10:30 pm
hey linda, it was so nice to see you, and in such great spirits! good luck on your surgery tomorrow! kaori
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
BACK ON THE ROAD
posted Tuesday, 20 December 2005
I'm back on the road again, riding high in my new 2005 Toyota Rav 4! After test-driving nearly every small SUV on the market, along with several of the sport wagons, I settled on the cute little Rav 4. The negotiations were a little tiring... and my car dealer was quite the character. I nearly walked and drove out to a PA dealer to buy it... but realized that there are some perks that dealers give you if you service with them and I might as well be close by.
My favorite obnoxious comment from my dealer came as he was trying to push a red 4x2, with beige interior.... I explained that I have a black dog and would strongly prefer the charcoal interior... and would take a car that was black, red or blue. He commented that it shouldn't matter what color the interior is... wasn't I planning to clean it after the dog? Well, duh... I'll clean my car, but not every day. He then suggested that I buy the beige interior car and get seat covers from Walmart that I could even just throw out when they get dirty (they only cost $8)... but who wants seat covers in a brand new car? and the seat covers certainly do not cost just $8.... I finally told him that if I was going to spend over $20k on a new car, that I shouldn't have to settle or explain my preference for a dark interior...
Anyways, we finally found a black 4x4 with gray interior... sounded like we'd be all set. They'd be installing a sunroof & heated seats (I really wanted heated seats, but most dealers only have the option with leather seats... and I don't want leather...). As I was filling out my credit application, the dealer returned... commented on my monthly salary... and asked if I would adopt him (just another example of how inappropriate this guy was!). I couldn't believe it.
Anyways, it's good to be back on the road again... I must admit... I do feel a pang of sorrow when I pass a cute little VW cabrio on the road these days though....
I'm back on the road again, riding high in my new 2005 Toyota Rav 4! After test-driving nearly every small SUV on the market, along with several of the sport wagons, I settled on the cute little Rav 4. The negotiations were a little tiring... and my car dealer was quite the character. I nearly walked and drove out to a PA dealer to buy it... but realized that there are some perks that dealers give you if you service with them and I might as well be close by.
My favorite obnoxious comment from my dealer came as he was trying to push a red 4x2, with beige interior.... I explained that I have a black dog and would strongly prefer the charcoal interior... and would take a car that was black, red or blue. He commented that it shouldn't matter what color the interior is... wasn't I planning to clean it after the dog? Well, duh... I'll clean my car, but not every day. He then suggested that I buy the beige interior car and get seat covers from Walmart that I could even just throw out when they get dirty (they only cost $8)... but who wants seat covers in a brand new car? and the seat covers certainly do not cost just $8.... I finally told him that if I was going to spend over $20k on a new car, that I shouldn't have to settle or explain my preference for a dark interior...
Anyways, we finally found a black 4x4 with gray interior... sounded like we'd be all set. They'd be installing a sunroof & heated seats (I really wanted heated seats, but most dealers only have the option with leather seats... and I don't want leather...). As I was filling out my credit application, the dealer returned... commented on my monthly salary... and asked if I would adopt him (just another example of how inappropriate this guy was!). I couldn't believe it.
Anyways, it's good to be back on the road again... I must admit... I do feel a pang of sorrow when I pass a cute little VW cabrio on the road these days though....
Sunday, December 18, 2005
The Bilinski Christmas Cookie "Smack Down"
posted Sunday, 18 December 2005
Stacey Bilinski hosted a Cookie "SmackDown" competition/party in Robbinsville, NJ. Following is the re-cap of the events (as recalled by Stacey)
Just a quick re-cap of yesterday's 2005 Cookie Smackdown. It was a small but intense competition. I also want to point out that it appears that the strick hand washing policy was adhered to (thanks Bonny) and no incidence of gi disturbances have been reported. This years competition, I decided to bring out of retirement, my peanut butter balls, thinking this was a slam dunk, I prepared the balls in advance had them chilling. But I guess I was too confident in my confection, and went to put Amber down for her nap, leaving my melting chocolate on the double boiler. Thank goodness for Nancy's olfactory perception or we may have had an inferno. Note to self, dont leave things on the stove top, and make sure fire extenguisher is close at hand. So after the first failed attempt I started again, and could not seem to get into the groove, despite several attempts to modify the chocolate coating, I ended up with a lump like consistency making my chocolate peanut butter balls look like turds from rabbits on steroids.
Thankfully the judges took pity on me, and I received an honorable mention. Rounding out the competition were 3 rookies, Bonny, Nancy, and Linda. So there was going to be a new champion - but who?? Was it going to be Nancy, who admittedly has only baked cookies once before? Linda, using her Grandma Cassill's secret recipe and an contraption similar to an Austin Power's like penile enhancment pump, or Bonny with her tried (at least once before) oatmeal, peanut, chocolate chunk cookies. We also had 2 new judges, and some fabulous prizes. Drum role pulllleez....
Runner up and favorite cookie of the those under 3 was Nancy's chocolate swirl chip, next was Linda's festive butter cookies and Bonny was the champ with her delicious prize winning entry.
Nancy, LC & Bonny prepare their dough... Nancy steers clear of the electric mixer, preferring to stir her dough by hand (though the video I took of her "stirring" the dough shows it was not without cost)
The ladies retreat to the hot-tub with Stacey to relax...
While the judges slave away inside, tasting the entries...
1. Mona left... Nancy always liked to help me make chocolate chip cookies, but for some reason refused to use the electric mixer. She always preferred to stir the dough by hand! The secret to great cc cookies is to refrigerate the dough overnight. Poor Nancy didn't stand a chance with her room temperature concoction. I'm glad she got honorable mention anyway. I enjoyed your photos which are making me very hungry. Have a great Christmas!!! Love, Mona
2. Mom left... Thursday, 22 December 2005 10:41 pm
Nancy always liked to help me make chocolate chip cookies, but for some reason refused to use the electric mixer. She always preferred to stir the dough by hand! The secret to great cc cookies is to refrigerate the dough overnight. Poor Nancy didn't stand a chance with her room temperature concoction. I'm glad she got honorable mention anyway. I enjoyed your photos which are making me very hungry. Have a great Christmas!!! Love, Mona Thursday, 22 December 2005 11:36 pm
Those cookies look great! I hope there will be some like that for Christmas. It is always more fun to bake with friends. I baked with my girlfriends many times, but never thought about making it a competition with prizes. Great idea!
Monday, December 12, 2005
LIKE WATCHING GRASS GROW
posted Monday, 12 December 2005
Some of you may know that my hair is beginning to grow back. At first, it was just one hair. You had to look sideways, across the top of my head, to see it... but I knew it was there. Now, there are a bunch... and they are soft and furry, like baby hair... as opposed to the first few, which were like razor stubble. I wonder what color it will be! I hope it is curly!
If I can remember, I am going to try to copy Karin Stack's Journal of her Hair Regrowth (see below). I'm not sure what intervals she took her photos at, but I've heard that hair grows 1/4 inch per month on average... so maybe these are weekly shots?
Some of you may know that my hair is beginning to grow back. At first, it was just one hair. You had to look sideways, across the top of my head, to see it... but I knew it was there. Now, there are a bunch... and they are soft and furry, like baby hair... as opposed to the first few, which were like razor stubble. I wonder what color it will be! I hope it is curly!
If I can remember, I am going to try to copy Karin Stack's Journal of her Hair Regrowth (see below). I'm not sure what intervals she took her photos at, but I've heard that hair grows 1/4 inch per month on average... so maybe these are weekly shots?
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHEMO
posted Monday, 12 December 2005
Those of you who have never been close to chemo may not get all the references, but there are still some neat messages...
The Night Before Chemo
By Heather Warrick
T’was the night before chemo, when all through the room
Not a patient was stirring, from Ativan I presume
The chemo bags were hung on I.V. poles with care
In hopes that a cure soon would be there
The patients were nestled all snug in their lounge chairs
Sipping Ensure and hugging Relay teddy bears
And the nurse in her scrubs and I in my wig
Had just settled down for another chemo gig
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter
Away to the window, I flew like a flash
Tore open the blinds and threw up on the glass
Soothing my nausea with the fresh cool breeze
The wind took my wig and it flew with such ease
When what to my wondering eyes did I see?
Eight tiny nurses giggling with glee
Leading the pack was an oncologist so sweet
With a mission of cancer that they would beat
To help with side effects from chemo we blame
Was his arsenal of drugs that he shouted by name
"Now Xanax!, now Ativan!, now Zofran! and Compazine!
Lets offer comfort with bon bons and magazines.”
"On Vicodin!, on Darvocet!, on Tylenol! and Morphine!
Let’s make them loopy and make a big scene!”
To the top of Mt. Courage, to the top of Mt. Hope
Now dash away, dash away so we can help cope
With tumors and lesions and lumps it is clear
We must make their cancer finally disappear!
So up to the clinic-top, they flew and flew
With a sleigh full of drugs and the doctor too
Then with a jingling I heard from their purse
Was the prancing and pawing of each little nurse
As I drew in my head and was turning around
In through the vent the doctor came with a bound
His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples so merry
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry
He was dressed all in white with an ugly plaid tie
He preached to the patients, “Do not ask why.”
Have courage, choose hope and just think positive
Live, love and laugh and your life will be lucrative
Never forget that you are heroes in my book
Conquering cancer without a second look
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He soon let me know I had nothing to dread
A bundle of drugs he had flung on his back
He looked like a drug dealer opening his pack
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
Making me feel sick, so I called him a jerk
A human pin cushion, I had become
So multiple pokes, again I succumb
But then I remembered, my life he was saving
So I realized I better start really behaving
"What comes around goes around" I always say
And a bad attitude might haunt me one day
I thanked him for fighting with me side by side
With two against one, cancer cannot hide
Then laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the vent he rose
He sprang to his sleigh, gave the nurses a sign
To travel the world fighting cancer like mine
The sleigh was our hope and he was the driver
Bringing strength and good cheer to every survivor
I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!
Those of you who have never been close to chemo may not get all the references, but there are still some neat messages...
The Night Before Chemo
By Heather Warrick
T’was the night before chemo, when all through the room
Not a patient was stirring, from Ativan I presume
The chemo bags were hung on I.V. poles with care
In hopes that a cure soon would be there
The patients were nestled all snug in their lounge chairs
Sipping Ensure and hugging Relay teddy bears
And the nurse in her scrubs and I in my wig
Had just settled down for another chemo gig
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter
Away to the window, I flew like a flash
Tore open the blinds and threw up on the glass
Soothing my nausea with the fresh cool breeze
The wind took my wig and it flew with such ease
When what to my wondering eyes did I see?
Eight tiny nurses giggling with glee
Leading the pack was an oncologist so sweet
With a mission of cancer that they would beat
To help with side effects from chemo we blame
Was his arsenal of drugs that he shouted by name
"Now Xanax!, now Ativan!, now Zofran! and Compazine!
Lets offer comfort with bon bons and magazines.”
"On Vicodin!, on Darvocet!, on Tylenol! and Morphine!
Let’s make them loopy and make a big scene!”
To the top of Mt. Courage, to the top of Mt. Hope
Now dash away, dash away so we can help cope
With tumors and lesions and lumps it is clear
We must make their cancer finally disappear!
So up to the clinic-top, they flew and flew
With a sleigh full of drugs and the doctor too
Then with a jingling I heard from their purse
Was the prancing and pawing of each little nurse
As I drew in my head and was turning around
In through the vent the doctor came with a bound
His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples so merry
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry
He was dressed all in white with an ugly plaid tie
He preached to the patients, “Do not ask why.”
Have courage, choose hope and just think positive
Live, love and laugh and your life will be lucrative
Never forget that you are heroes in my book
Conquering cancer without a second look
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
He soon let me know I had nothing to dread
A bundle of drugs he had flung on his back
He looked like a drug dealer opening his pack
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
Making me feel sick, so I called him a jerk
A human pin cushion, I had become
So multiple pokes, again I succumb
But then I remembered, my life he was saving
So I realized I better start really behaving
"What comes around goes around" I always say
And a bad attitude might haunt me one day
I thanked him for fighting with me side by side
With two against one, cancer cannot hide
Then laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the vent he rose
He sprang to his sleigh, gave the nurses a sign
To travel the world fighting cancer like mine
The sleigh was our hope and he was the driver
Bringing strength and good cheer to every survivor
I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight
Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
SMASHY SMASHY
posted Saturday, 10 December 2005
Today was my ZS holiday party in NYC. Before the party, I thought it would be nice to take Otis out to the dog park to get some exercise and hopefully play with some other pups. I was almost there... I looked up to find the park entrance, as I had only been there once before and noticed that it was at the next traffic light. What I did not notice... was the SUV sitting in my lane, waiting to make a left hand turn, with no blinker or brake lights on. At the very last minute, I saw him. I looked up to see if there was oncoming traffic, noticed it was clear and swerved hard to my left to try to avoid him.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the car, which was full of smoke... and a man was yelling to me to get out of the car. I was stunned. He kept yelling and I managed to get out of the car. Otis, however, was frozen. He had jumped back behind my rear seats, into the storage cubby that the roof folds into when the convertible top is down. He would not get out of the car. I couldn't pick him up and pull him out... he just sat there, terrified and trembling. The people around kept trying to get me away from the car, but I couldn't leave Otis in there. After 10 minutes, he finally jumped out of the car and started running around (obviously/thankfully not injured).
Nobody in either car was hurt. It could have been a lot worse (if there had been cars coming in the opposite direction, etc). It still really blows. I consider myself a very safe, attentive driver. I can't understand how I didn't see him. It really is unbelievable. Looking at my car, I can't believe that I stood up and walked away from the car. Both front airbags deployed, the window was smashed, the passenger door won't open, the hood is crunched all the way up to the windshield & parts of the engine are missing.... once again, I feel lucky to be alive... (enough already! I get the point! I am thankful for all that I have - my family, friends, puppy, talents and health!)
The accident happened near my house. Of course, nearly all my friends live 30-45 minutes north. Charlene & Jeremy were in Florida. Crash was in Virginia. Crash called Jim, my friend Cindy's boyfriend, who I met very briefly once before. He lives nearby and he graciously came and picked me up. Thank you Jim!
The car is totalled. I guess it was time for a new car anyways... I've always liked the Subaru Outback Sport, but 3 of my friends have nixed that (what's wrong with the subaru?)... I am also thinking about a small SUV (mileage is actually not terrible in the small SUVs or a hybrid... maybe even the Ford Escape Hybrid)... I'd really like to splurge on a navigation system. Any thoughts/ideas/comments?
Today was my ZS holiday party in NYC. Before the party, I thought it would be nice to take Otis out to the dog park to get some exercise and hopefully play with some other pups. I was almost there... I looked up to find the park entrance, as I had only been there once before and noticed that it was at the next traffic light. What I did not notice... was the SUV sitting in my lane, waiting to make a left hand turn, with no blinker or brake lights on. At the very last minute, I saw him. I looked up to see if there was oncoming traffic, noticed it was clear and swerved hard to my left to try to avoid him.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the car, which was full of smoke... and a man was yelling to me to get out of the car. I was stunned. He kept yelling and I managed to get out of the car. Otis, however, was frozen. He had jumped back behind my rear seats, into the storage cubby that the roof folds into when the convertible top is down. He would not get out of the car. I couldn't pick him up and pull him out... he just sat there, terrified and trembling. The people around kept trying to get me away from the car, but I couldn't leave Otis in there. After 10 minutes, he finally jumped out of the car and started running around (obviously/thankfully not injured).
Nobody in either car was hurt. It could have been a lot worse (if there had been cars coming in the opposite direction, etc). It still really blows. I consider myself a very safe, attentive driver. I can't understand how I didn't see him. It really is unbelievable. Looking at my car, I can't believe that I stood up and walked away from the car. Both front airbags deployed, the window was smashed, the passenger door won't open, the hood is crunched all the way up to the windshield & parts of the engine are missing.... once again, I feel lucky to be alive... (enough already! I get the point! I am thankful for all that I have - my family, friends, puppy, talents and health!)
The accident happened near my house. Of course, nearly all my friends live 30-45 minutes north. Charlene & Jeremy were in Florida. Crash was in Virginia. Crash called Jim, my friend Cindy's boyfriend, who I met very briefly once before. He lives nearby and he graciously came and picked me up. Thank you Jim!
The car is totalled. I guess it was time for a new car anyways... I've always liked the Subaru Outback Sport, but 3 of my friends have nixed that (what's wrong with the subaru?)... I am also thinking about a small SUV (mileage is actually not terrible in the small SUVs or a hybrid... maybe even the Ford Escape Hybrid)... I'd really like to splurge on a navigation system. Any thoughts/ideas/comments?
Wednesday, December 7, 2005
OLD MAN
posted Wednesday, 7 December 2005
A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dad today!
Though my friends thought he was "scary" (in particular, Gina, who wouldn't come over to play if he was home... and Jack, who thought he was some sort of GI Joe in everyday life), those close to him know what a big teddy bear he is... shhh... don't tell anyone....
The past few years have seen our family faced with more than one challenge. I am impressed with the manner in which you faced each one head on. From helping us with our homework... to taking us camping (at Darien Lake, no less)...to serving our country... to loving and nurturing our mother... to shaving your baby girl's head... You have been an example to us of what it means to be a loving husband and father.
I love you Dad! Happy Birthday!
A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dad today!
Though my friends thought he was "scary" (in particular, Gina, who wouldn't come over to play if he was home... and Jack, who thought he was some sort of GI Joe in everyday life), those close to him know what a big teddy bear he is... shhh... don't tell anyone....
The past few years have seen our family faced with more than one challenge. I am impressed with the manner in which you faced each one head on. From helping us with our homework... to taking us camping (at Darien Lake, no less)...to serving our country... to loving and nurturing our mother... to shaving your baby girl's head... You have been an example to us of what it means to be a loving husband and father.
I love you Dad! Happy Birthday!
Monday, December 5, 2005
NIP TUCK
posted Monday, 5 December 2005
Ok, so I had some misguided perception that all plastic surgeons would be young... fairly attractive... and funny.... no such luck.
As you know, I *love* my breast surgeon, Dr Dultz. She is kind of like my college track coach, ShaSha (if he told me to run 100 miles, I would have done it... because I knew that if he recommended it, it would make me better), except she's ridding my body of cancer and he just made my body jump farther.
Anyways... Dr Dultz gave me a list of 6 or 7 plastic surgeons that she recommended. Of course... not one of them accepts my insurance. In fact, there are only 3 surgeons in central jersey who do accept my insurance - one in Trenton, one in Princeton & one in New Brunswick. Dr Dultz told me she had "heard of" the guy in Princeton, but didn't really recommend one way or the other.
So I went to meet with him (since out-of-network coverage would only be 50% and this type of surgery runs at least $20k per breast - wowsa!). Dr W was kind of like that other dr on nip-tuck... the one with the curly hair... but add 50 pounds, 20 years and visibly waxy ears. Not that I judge a dr based on his appearance... it's just one of those things where you have one picture in your mind and the person inevitably looks nothing like that picture. Turns out Dr W played ultimate frisbee at Duke many moons ago... so I thought "great! I will have an instant connection with him"
Not really. He was very informative. Basically, there are two kinds of reconstruction currently used:
After the reconstruction, they often do a nipple reconstruction (still not sure how they do that) and then they tattoo on the nipple to make it look real. Huh - never thought that I would get a tattoo... mom's not going to like that ;)
Dr W told me that I probably don't have enough body fat to do the tram flap, which is fine with me - I don't think I would have really considered it. He also said that if I reconstruct with implants, provided that I don't want to upgrade to a "voluptuous C-cup", that I wouldn't need the expanders... they could just put the implants in at the beginning.
However, he did say that I couldn't drive for 3 weeks after the surgery and couldn't lift my arms over my head or exercise (other than walking) for 3 months after the surgery. That sounds crazy. I can see why they don't want me playing frisbee, but no stationary bike... no running... for 3 months? That seems a bit excessive.
Over all, Dr W wasn't horrible... but it wasn't that instant comfort level that I felt with Dr Dultz or Dr Cairoli. I made an appt with the Dr up in New Brunswick for next week. He is the chief of the plastic surgery department at Robert Wood (RWJ)... decent credentials... he has rights at Princeton Medical Center (where Dr Dultz works), but according to the receptionist, he only does reconstruction at RWJ. Ugh. It's much better to do this all in one shot... maybe if I beg? Well, it's worth the second opinion, even if I don't go with him for the surgery... it may make it more clear whether or not I should go with Dr W. What a pain! I can't imagine being so discontent with my own body that I would pursue this voluntarily... just for looks...
Ok, so I had some misguided perception that all plastic surgeons would be young... fairly attractive... and funny.... no such luck.
As you know, I *love* my breast surgeon, Dr Dultz. She is kind of like my college track coach, ShaSha (if he told me to run 100 miles, I would have done it... because I knew that if he recommended it, it would make me better), except she's ridding my body of cancer and he just made my body jump farther.
Anyways... Dr Dultz gave me a list of 6 or 7 plastic surgeons that she recommended. Of course... not one of them accepts my insurance. In fact, there are only 3 surgeons in central jersey who do accept my insurance - one in Trenton, one in Princeton & one in New Brunswick. Dr Dultz told me she had "heard of" the guy in Princeton, but didn't really recommend one way or the other.
So I went to meet with him (since out-of-network coverage would only be 50% and this type of surgery runs at least $20k per breast - wowsa!). Dr W was kind of like that other dr on nip-tuck... the one with the curly hair... but add 50 pounds, 20 years and visibly waxy ears. Not that I judge a dr based on his appearance... it's just one of those things where you have one picture in your mind and the person inevitably looks nothing like that picture. Turns out Dr W played ultimate frisbee at Duke many moons ago... so I thought "great! I will have an instant connection with him"
Not really. He was very informative. Basically, there are two kinds of reconstruction currently used:
After the reconstruction, they often do a nipple reconstruction (still not sure how they do that) and then they tattoo on the nipple to make it look real. Huh - never thought that I would get a tattoo... mom's not going to like that ;)
Dr W told me that I probably don't have enough body fat to do the tram flap, which is fine with me - I don't think I would have really considered it. He also said that if I reconstruct with implants, provided that I don't want to upgrade to a "voluptuous C-cup", that I wouldn't need the expanders... they could just put the implants in at the beginning.
However, he did say that I couldn't drive for 3 weeks after the surgery and couldn't lift my arms over my head or exercise (other than walking) for 3 months after the surgery. That sounds crazy. I can see why they don't want me playing frisbee, but no stationary bike... no running... for 3 months? That seems a bit excessive.
Over all, Dr W wasn't horrible... but it wasn't that instant comfort level that I felt with Dr Dultz or Dr Cairoli. I made an appt with the Dr up in New Brunswick for next week. He is the chief of the plastic surgery department at Robert Wood (RWJ)... decent credentials... he has rights at Princeton Medical Center (where Dr Dultz works), but according to the receptionist, he only does reconstruction at RWJ. Ugh. It's much better to do this all in one shot... maybe if I beg? Well, it's worth the second opinion, even if I don't go with him for the surgery... it may make it more clear whether or not I should go with Dr W. What a pain! I can't imagine being so discontent with my own body that I would pursue this voluntarily... just for looks...
Thursday, December 1, 2005
MY DEOXYRIBONUCLEIC ACID (GENETIC TESTING)
posted Thursday, 1 December 2005
Just a quick note: my insurance company *finally* pre-approved my genetic testing (they wouldn't draw blood until the insurance approval came in...which took over a month to do...I mean, clearly I was trying to scam the system and get unnecessary needle sticks and testing...)
I met with Bridget (the same nurse that I met with for the initial counseling, along with another genetics expert to go over the final information. Basically, they wanted me to understand that the test may or may not provide conclusive information... and since I am the first person in my family being tested, even a "negative" result is not really conclusive (the only conclusive negative is if I were to test positive and another family member tested negative, since they already know exactly what it was that caused my cancer -- my family member does not have that genetic defect and is therefore a true negative) -- the tests are not always complete (they only test 80% of the DNA sequence) and there may be other genetic causes of breast cancer that they don't know how to test for yet. Ok, I get it... just take my blood and send it out already!
****any of my needle-queasy-friends should skip the next paragraph***
Finally, we headed to the lab. Anita, the same woman who always tested my blood before chemo, finally arrives and preps for the draw. My vein is apparently still quite hard from all the poisons they've been pumping into me. She inserts the needle and misses. I am stunned... this is my first "miss"... I mean, I've heard stories, but never had a problem myself... She jabs the needle around a few more times in my arm and finally gets the blood flowing. Not real pleasant... not really looking forward to giving them any more access to my veins... but at least this is done.
I should get results in 3-5 weeks. It will make a nice Christmas gift. Since I want to have surgery done by early January, we are cutting it close. Serves me right for procrastinating so much (but the insurance issue was not one I had anticipated). As I mentioned before, if the results come back positive, there is a very high risk that I will develop another tumor in the currently healthy breast (over a 50% chance...I don't remember the exact #s). As such, my dr has encouraged me to consider a "prophylactic bilateral mastectomy" (they have to take the left, as it currently has DCIS in it... but they would also take the right, to significantly reduce the chance of developing a future cancer) - to me it sounds like a no-brainer. In all honesty, it would make my decisions around surgery easier to have something conclusive to base it on (as the prophlactic surgery is always an option, regardless of the results)... but I guess I won't stress over it until I have all the information... then I will stress if I need to!
Just a quick note: my insurance company *finally* pre-approved my genetic testing (they wouldn't draw blood until the insurance approval came in...which took over a month to do...I mean, clearly I was trying to scam the system and get unnecessary needle sticks and testing...)
I met with Bridget (the same nurse that I met with for the initial counseling, along with another genetics expert to go over the final information. Basically, they wanted me to understand that the test may or may not provide conclusive information... and since I am the first person in my family being tested, even a "negative" result is not really conclusive (the only conclusive negative is if I were to test positive and another family member tested negative, since they already know exactly what it was that caused my cancer -- my family member does not have that genetic defect and is therefore a true negative) -- the tests are not always complete (they only test 80% of the DNA sequence) and there may be other genetic causes of breast cancer that they don't know how to test for yet. Ok, I get it... just take my blood and send it out already!
****any of my needle-queasy-friends should skip the next paragraph***
Finally, we headed to the lab. Anita, the same woman who always tested my blood before chemo, finally arrives and preps for the draw. My vein is apparently still quite hard from all the poisons they've been pumping into me. She inserts the needle and misses. I am stunned... this is my first "miss"... I mean, I've heard stories, but never had a problem myself... She jabs the needle around a few more times in my arm and finally gets the blood flowing. Not real pleasant... not really looking forward to giving them any more access to my veins... but at least this is done.
I should get results in 3-5 weeks. It will make a nice Christmas gift. Since I want to have surgery done by early January, we are cutting it close. Serves me right for procrastinating so much (but the insurance issue was not one I had anticipated). As I mentioned before, if the results come back positive, there is a very high risk that I will develop another tumor in the currently healthy breast (over a 50% chance...I don't remember the exact #s). As such, my dr has encouraged me to consider a "prophylactic bilateral mastectomy" (they have to take the left, as it currently has DCIS in it... but they would also take the right, to significantly reduce the chance of developing a future cancer) - to me it sounds like a no-brainer. In all honesty, it would make my decisions around surgery easier to have something conclusive to base it on (as the prophlactic surgery is always an option, regardless of the results)... but I guess I won't stress over it until I have all the information... then I will stress if I need to!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
posted Thursday, 1 December 2005
The NNJ branch of the YSC (Young Survivor Coalition) hosted their first annual Survivor Celebration this evening. I decided to hike up to north jersey to check it out, hoping that at least there would be some good (free) food! Halfway there, I had a sudden realization: " what if nobody likes me and I sit by myself all night, looking awkward? worse - what if the dinner is just sandwiches and i drove all the way up here (1 1/2 hrs) for a bad dinner eaten all by myself??" My friend Mellen reassured me, and I continued on my way.
As I strode through the reception area at the hotel hosting the event, a woman approached me and asked if I was looking for the YSC event. Ok, I am so ready for my hair to grow back so that I am not the easily recognizable girl with cancer. But I guess it beat me walking around for hours, looking for the event.
I signed in and was handed a pink goody bag (actually had some nice stuff in it) and joined the other 20/30-somethings mingling in the room. Conversation was a little bit strained... but not terrible. I mean, we all knew we had one thing in common, but do you really want to open your conversation with "hey, are you estrogen receptor positive? --Me too!!!!" Two women were heading back out to the hotel bar to grab a glass of wine, so I jumped in and asked them to "wait for me!" Beth & Sue turned out to be pretty easy to talk to. On the way to & from the bar, we realized that we were all athletes... and not just gals who do aerobics (no offense to those gals, but that's who the YSC put Beth in touch with when she wanted to talk to someone else who was into sports), but pretty hard core athletes. Beth & Sue play on a club field hockey team. Beth was diagnosed 3 years ago - had chemo, mastectomy, reconstruction...the works... and was back out on the field... alas! Someone who could relate to my freakish woes about being able to play again! She confirmed that her saline implants were pretty darn sturdy and withstood some bruising and banging out on the field! Excellent news! And new friends!
The evening was 100% worth the drive (dinner was tasty too!)... not sure that I will trudge back up there for their monthly meetings, but it's good to know this group exists. And, honestyly, it was nice to see that I wasn't alone... that there are other folks my age dealing with similar situations... not that I wish to see others battling as myself (I certainly don't wish it on anyone!) but there was something about being in a room of 30 young women, who had fought and won... and continue the fight...
The NNJ branch of the YSC (Young Survivor Coalition) hosted their first annual Survivor Celebration this evening. I decided to hike up to north jersey to check it out, hoping that at least there would be some good (free) food! Halfway there, I had a sudden realization: " what if nobody likes me and I sit by myself all night, looking awkward? worse - what if the dinner is just sandwiches and i drove all the way up here (1 1/2 hrs) for a bad dinner eaten all by myself??" My friend Mellen reassured me, and I continued on my way.
As I strode through the reception area at the hotel hosting the event, a woman approached me and asked if I was looking for the YSC event. Ok, I am so ready for my hair to grow back so that I am not the easily recognizable girl with cancer. But I guess it beat me walking around for hours, looking for the event.
I signed in and was handed a pink goody bag (actually had some nice stuff in it) and joined the other 20/30-somethings mingling in the room. Conversation was a little bit strained... but not terrible. I mean, we all knew we had one thing in common, but do you really want to open your conversation with "hey, are you estrogen receptor positive? --Me too!!!!" Two women were heading back out to the hotel bar to grab a glass of wine, so I jumped in and asked them to "wait for me!" Beth & Sue turned out to be pretty easy to talk to. On the way to & from the bar, we realized that we were all athletes... and not just gals who do aerobics (no offense to those gals, but that's who the YSC put Beth in touch with when she wanted to talk to someone else who was into sports), but pretty hard core athletes. Beth & Sue play on a club field hockey team. Beth was diagnosed 3 years ago - had chemo, mastectomy, reconstruction...the works... and was back out on the field... alas! Someone who could relate to my freakish woes about being able to play again! She confirmed that her saline implants were pretty darn sturdy and withstood some bruising and banging out on the field! Excellent news! And new friends!
The evening was 100% worth the drive (dinner was tasty too!)... not sure that I will trudge back up there for their monthly meetings, but it's good to know this group exists. And, honestyly, it was nice to see that I wasn't alone... that there are other folks my age dealing with similar situations... not that I wish to see others battling as myself (I certainly don't wish it on anyone!) but there was something about being in a room of 30 young women, who had fought and won... and continue the fight...
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